Yesterday was a rainy and windy day and I decided to clean the basement. I move some stuff around and came across my old Playboy and porn magazines. I haven't looked at them in years and i think I bought them back when I was 16 or 17, I sat at my desk and just went through them and almost remembering where I bought them and when I was viewing them. I haven't looked at them in years but yet the thought of throwing them out wasn't an option, but I asked myself "why not". I bundled them off and in the recycling they went but with a feeling of sadness.
In the same breath my wife told me that was a big step and that I had to do another, I had to move out some of my fem stuff, it just to much and I don't move anything out. Just like the magazines, they were there but I never looked at them and that's with some of my fem stuff. I argued my point telling her most of them had sentimental values, the first bra she bought me, and stuff she handed down to me. I explained the story of my grandmother who would never throw out bread. When she was young they couldn't afford bread or even get it. Now that she has an abundance of it she can't throw it out. She will dip it in milk and when it's dead hard she will grind it to bread crumbs. That's the same with me, when I was younger I could have only have dreamed of having a supportive wife and all this stuff, so it could be explained why I can't just throw stuff out.
We ended up going through some of the stuff and I had a micro mini skirts that never mind wearing it I couldn't even get it over one leg, but yet it still hurt to let it go.
I moved out a lot of stuff and we brought it to the donation box, I have more room now but I felt like I let some of my past go and I just have this sad feeling in me. I don't know why I haven't wore that stuff in years. I guess I'm just thinking and writing out loud.