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Thread: Going to a Halloween party with my wife's approval

  1. #1
    New Member daffygirl's Avatar
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    Going to a Halloween party with my wife's approval

    So I've had butterflies in my stomach all week. My wife says she's totally ok with me going to a party dressed up in a female costume. After over two decades of DADT I asked my wife if it would be ok if I went as a "pretty witch" to a Halloween party at the museum---and I was shocked that she said she was fine with it.

    Just after we were married, we had The Talk. It didn't go well. She tried but just couldn't deal with it. A few years later we started a family, and I felt that risking blowing up my marriage was the worst thing I could possibly do, so I have kept it to myself all that time. And with the job and covid I haven't even dressed fully in five or six years. But we have changed as people over all that time, and I have been planning---and planning---to bring this up again with her.

    After a lot of thought on how to approach this, last weekend I found out about a costume party at the museum on the Saturday night before Halloween, and for a long time the museum has been something I've wanted to go to as Daphne. I felt that there wasn't going to be a better opportunity, and I knew she had to work all day, so I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to go. So on Tuesday, I told her I wanted to go to this event, and I wanted to dress up as a witch. But not an ugly witch---I told her I wanted to go all out and be a pretty one.

    I had tried to anticipate every possible reaction---anger, crying, passive rage, shock, etc. I felt the best response I could possibly expect would be some sort of begrudging approval, but instead, the answer I got was "yeah, sure, no problem, have fun!". I had planned to segue into a discussion about what it would mean to me to have some space in my life to dress up occasionally, but she immediately started talking about another unrelated but important family issue that she suddenly remembered, and I didn't bring the subject up again that night.

    I spent a couple days thinking over what this meant. Maybe she wasn't making the connection. I became quite anxious and considered not going through with it. I've kept it inside for so long and I could think of a million things that could go wrong. Plus the logistics seemed overwhelming---finding time for hair removal, shopping (I have gained some weight during covid), planning.... Any pink fog I had after the first conversation was replaced by a big grey stress cloud.

    So I asked her again the night before last, "I should decide on this ticket soon. Are you really ok with me going to this? And are you sure you're fine with me dressing up as a witch? I'm going to put some effort into being a pretty witch, not an ugly one. You are ok with that?" She said "yes, no problem, go have fun!" So I said "Would you like to come?" "I would have loved to but I will be dead tired after working all day."

    I decided that the situation was good, and anything more I could say would just risk screwing it up. So I talked a little more about the event then we spent the evening hanging out together watching TV.

    I'm going for more of a pretty, Samantha/Bewitched witch-next-door effect than an over-the-top Elvira thing. I made an appointment to get a makeover, because I want to get this right---if my wife ends up seeing me dressed, I want her to have the best first impression I can manage. Coincidentally, she will be a witch at work, so I'm going to leave it open that maybe we can go out for a drink as two witches in between her coming home and me going out. She didn't seem at all averse to seeing me dressed up, so maybe it's a possibility.

    I'm not going to push too hard or fast. but it feels like a good opportunity to move the discussion forward. I'll be pragmatic and see how things go as we talk about this together this week, but I feel optimistic.

    -Daphne

  2. #2
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Good for you!

    You seemed to have given your discussion a lot of thought, told her your feelings about the event, and even invited her. All positive things that a "previously" mixed reaction from a wife needs to hear.

    I hope that you have a fabulous time as a beautiful witch. I also wish that she would think this over and join you.

  3. #3
    Member Emily in the south's Avatar
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    I hope that everything goes absolutely perfectly for your night out. I agree that you have thought things thru quite well.
    Best of luck Daphne and don't forget a few pictures..

    Emily

  4. #4
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Daffy, Enjoy your evening. Please post pictures.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  5. #5
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    I agree with Jamie. Go for it and enjoy yourself. And, please, share some photos.

  6. #6
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    As advice and sex columnist Dan Savage often says, "take yes for an answer".
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

    https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/

  7. #7
    New Member daffygirl's Avatar
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    Thanks everybody! I did some shopping and all is still good, but I'm taking it slowly. I will fill her in on a couple details some time this week, mainly about the makeover, to make sure we're on the same page about what is going to happen so nothing comes as a shock.

    I'm glad to be able to post here. This is a little nerve-wracking.

    -Daphne



    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    As advice and sex columnist Dan Savage often says, "take yes for an answer".

    Probably good advice! I think she and I just need to make sure that we both understand what she's saying "yes" to....

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
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    Have a good time. Sounds like a lot of fun.

  9. #9
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Mmh you may want to check the back of your wife's left ear to verify that she has not been exchanged with a robot. If there's a make and serial number visible, then your friends obviously played a prank on you and chances are they will replace the android with your real wife at the last minute just as you are about to leave the house all dolled up. This is a classic (at least in Xzkstorg culture in constellation Omega 1701), don't fall for it.
    If there is no serial number, well you are off to a good start! It is quite understandable that you feel nervous. But picture yourself in a few days if you didn't dare to go and let this opportunity pass. You would be livid!
    It's nice to have a wife who loves you. Enjoy.

  10. #10
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Have a great time - you did well in taking your wife's feelings into account

  11. #11
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    Hi Daphne I so feel for you is this your first party dressed? Amongst butterflies anyway that your also lookin for a positive go for it girl from your wife must be so hard.i hope you go to your party and njoy and have a great time.i have just been to my first ever party fully dressed up as a beautifull sexy witch.i couldn't sleep properly all week thinking about the party and my wife was egging me to go fully supportive but I was still so nervous .also it was a long drive to the party but anyway what was I worried about! Beautifull people great night very drunk wore.stilletos neary all night 5am! Had a absolute ball ! When I eventually got home ext day I gave my wife a big hug and then burst in to tears of happiness.relief.gladness etc I don't know.iv never ever done that before.just let it out my wife says so I did ........love jasmine

  12. #12
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
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    So glad that you are getting to go especially with the wife's support. That is a huge milestone. Please don't forget to get a couple pictures if you can.
    Have fun.

    Hugs
    Jolene

  13. #13
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    You are one lucky witch! How great would that be if you and your lovely wide could meet up for drinks with you being the pretty one. I agree this will be your opportunity to have another discussion.

  14. #14
    Junior Member Jade P's Avatar
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    That is so nice that you have this opportunity. Enjoy.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    That sounds wonderful. If I were you, I would not bring it up any more. And I would not float the idea of two witches going out for a drink in the early evening. You are fishing for a reaction. Go have your fun at the museum... and live to fight another day.

  16. #16
    New Member daffygirl's Avatar
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    You may be right---probably that is pushing it too hard. However, she has just had more hours tacked onto her work schedule for Saturday, so it sounds like it wouldn't be a possibility regardless.
    Last edited by char GG; 10-24-2022 at 06:15 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post just before yours

  17. #17
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    I agree with Monica. Go, have fun. Let us know how you did.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Try not to give the impression that you are actually obsessed with the plan. After all, to her you are just wearing a costume to a costume party. Of course we all know it is a huge deal to you. If you do go, be sure to get some pictures if she will not have a chance to see you since she is working. Once she sees you or your pictures, you might get a better idea how she feels about it. Like the others said, she gave you permission so just do it.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes. Be sure you can wear your shoes for an extended time - very important.

    Sandi

  19. #19
    New Member daffygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jazmin View Post
    Hi Daphne I so feel for you is this your first party dressed? Amongst butterflies anyway that your also lookin for a positive go for it girl from your wife must be so hard.i hope you go to your party and njoy and have a great time.i have just been to my first ever party fully dressed up as a beautifull sexy witch.i couldn't sleep properly all week thinking about the party and my wife was egging me to go fully supportive but I was still so nervous .also it was a long drive to the party but anyway what was I worried about! Beautifull people great night very drunk wore.stilletos neary all night 5am! Had a absolute ball ! When I eventually got home ext day I gave my wife a big hug and then burst in to tears of happiness.relief.gladness etc I don't know.iv never ever done that before.just let it out my wife says so I did ........love jasmine
    Sounds great, thanks for posting this! Hope this goes as well---though I plan to lay off the booze

    To answer your question, it's not my first time out---but it will still be almost as exciting as the first time, I'm sure.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by DianeT View Post
    Mmh you may want to check the back of your wife's left ear to verify that she has not been exchanged with a robot. If there's a make and serial number visible, then your friends obviously played a prank on you and chances are they will replace the android with your real wife at the last minute just as you are about to leave the house all dolled up. This is a classic (at least in Xzkstorg culture in constellation Omega 1701), don't fall for it.
    If there is no serial number, well you are off to a good start! It is quite understandable that you feel nervous. But picture yourself in a few days if you didn't dare to go and let this opportunity pass. You would be livid!
    It's nice to have a wife who loves you. Enjoy.
    Yes, this is good advice---at least the part about being angry with myself if I didn't do it . I think if I were to pass this up I would never forgive myself.

  20. #20
    New Member daffygirl's Avatar
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    Ok, so quick update: As I mentioned, I wanted to make sure that my wife at least understood what she was agreeing to before taking this big step. But I also wanted to heed everyone's advice not to push my luck. So after waiting a few days (and nights of fitful sleep), tonight I mentioned that tickets to the party were sold out, so she couldn't join me regardless. She replied again that she would be too tired. I cheerily suggested that we still meet for a drink in between. "Otherwise you won't get to see me dressed up." "I think I'm fine with that. Let's watch TV", was her reply.

    This is a relief. She is not one to keep her emotions in, so I am certain she is not angry or upset. She is not thrilled, but she understands the basic scenario. I will take this as an generous gift from her. And I will be sure to tell her how much I appreciate this afterwards.

    So things are a go for Saturday---I'll be dressed all day, after a late-morning makeover and I don't have to hide. This hasn't really fully sunken in yet. I'll just be a regular girl during the day, out and about, then with a change of outfit, a beautiful (in my own mind anyway) witch all evening at a great party.

    More updates to come....

    - Daphne

  21. #21
    Junior Member DaniellaUK's Avatar
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    What a fabulous happy thread.

    Sounds like you have played this very patiently and carefully.

    Have a fantastic evening.

  22. #22
    New Member Fiona Manchmal's Avatar
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    Daphne. All the best for the party - have a wonderful time. It seems you have the green light you want so enjoy the anticipation too; try not to overthink things. As someone who has yet to venture out I salute your nerve and also hope you will post some pictures.

    Once you're done I suggest you think of something your wife will enjoy as a thank-you. It sounds as though she has tough work-life and would appreciate a break.

    Fi.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    Looking forward to seeing your pics!
    After all Halloween is the crossdressers National Holiday!!

  24. #24
    New Member spicy's Avatar
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    good luck bud

  25. #25
    Member Valerie Louise's Avatar
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    All great news!
    Have a great time and be sure to own being Daphne!
    Some advice from a CD who has enough outings now to have a bit of experience.
    Try your outfit on completely ? undergarments, outfit, shoes. Be sure it all works, in time to buy other stuff in case it doesn?t. Don?t forget jewelry if you can. And ? hip pads, any kind, foam or silicone, make a huge difference.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    And ? pics, pics, pics!! Want pics!

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