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Thread: Should we all embrace the T?

  1. #1
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
    Sacramento Valley

    Should we all embrace the T?

    Been mulling over talking about our lifestyle to a local LBG... group. I hate that name, but if come out, then what are we? Not T if T is transexual. Hate the idea of being an after thought in the +. Should we all try to grab the T? as perhaps Transdresser? Sounds and looks weird, but better than just being a + after thought.

    What do you think? Good idea, or go immediately to the trash bin and don't pass go.

  2. #2
    Member JennyMay's Avatar
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    Mar 2020
    East Anglia, in the UK
    In th UK this is more than a matter of personal preference but about who has legal protection. The T stands for Transgender and it is applied broadly to all who cross the gender divide whether by full time or part-time.

  3. #3
    Member Brianne_M's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
    We are not a "+".. We are our own.

    My opinion.
    I just want to be me, and be happy.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    We are apart of the T as JennyMay has said.

    Transexual is outdated

    T is Transgender

    The trouble with acronyms is the fact there are so many. They don't just stop at LGBT

    LGBTQIA+ community, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  5. #5
    Silver Member
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    Oct 2006
    I believe we ARE transgender. But it doesn't work like a binary, either/or, full on/full off light switch. Gender works more like a dimmer switch with a whole spectrum of possibilities between zero (I would never be caught dead....) and eleven (my gender assignment at birth is impossible to live with, so I must go as far as surgical procedures).

    So the real question is, where on the spectrum do you fit? I consistently feel like I'm about a 7 or 8. It means I'm more comfortable in a dress or skirt than anything else, but I don't need to delete my alpha male side. As long as I'm free to dress as I please, no transition is necessary.

    I think we all need to move past all those letters in the LG...etc etc acronym and just be ourselves AND be accepted by the rest of society. Easier said than done, I know, but i do feel that progress is being made in that direction. The key is visibility. The more we ALL get out there in the world, expressing our true selves, the more the muggles will see that we are not bringing with us the apocalypse. (And we don't have to use words like "muggles" anymore)

  6. #6
    Junior Member DaniellaUK's Avatar
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    Jan 2022
    Ibiza, Spain
    I think JennyMay has pretty much nailed it

    Funnily enough, I'm currently listening to an audio book "What's the T?" by Juno Dawson.

  7. #7
    New Member
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    May 2021
    Hello everybody
    The problem with lgbtq+... It does not unify the "community" . It segregates, it tells you to pic a letter and behave accordingly to a letter. Does this letter represent you? Do you have to represent the letter? I for myself am a man and I can't and do not want to change that. As a surgeon I don't think it is wise to interfere too much in the human body. You can change anatomy a little bit through surgery but you can't change biology and nature. This you have to accept. This means you have to accept yourself. I have accepted that I do prefer the feminine style of clothing, hair dressing and so on, i just prefer to look like "usually" women do. I also would love to be accepted as me. I would love to look more and everyday like a woman but still be accepted as a husband and a man with a different opinion and preference regarding my looks and not as someone from a "spectrum" to be pushed into some predefined boundaries of a "letter". I just want to be me.
    Last edited by Misiokaku; 10-27-2022 at 05:48 AM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Jan 2022
    Coastal SC
    I have trouble with the LGBTQ+ system of classification. Most folks would consider me a "T" as I crossdress to one degree or another 100% of the time. However, am I really transgender? I'm a man and know I'm a man. I don't desire to be a woman. I only desire to wear clothing traditionally assigned to women. If that makes me transgender, then is every woman who wears blue jeans and/or suits also transgender? There was a time (in my memory) women did not wear these clothing items. Someone please explain the difference to me.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  9. #9
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    THAT is what defines a CROSSDRESSER (It used to be called Transvestite) A crossdresser is a person who dresses as the opposite sex who IS NOT GAY Transsexual or BI. even though those groups are also known to cross dress, they already have their name/terminology. they cross dress VERB SO we "outsiders" are the Crossdresser NOUN.
    Last edited by char GG; 10-27-2022 at 10:04 AM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member
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    Sep 2019
    no, i am not embracing the t unless the t stands for testosterone. im a xy who just happens to have a womens clothing fetish. nothing more.

  11. #11
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Great question with no clear answer. To me the LGBTQ+... is a poorly conceived classification system that applies terms to variations that are as ambiguous all get out. The letter T presumably refers to anyone who exhibits gender variance. That is parallel with the classical definition of Transgender - "a person who, all of the time or part of the time, self identifies with the opposite gender from that which would be expected based on the person's sex."

    Well, that is no help because under the most modern theories of gender there is a tiny percentage of people who do not show gender variance of some kind at some time. So how much is enough to qualify as T? Nobody knows; it is opinion. In that definition we are all T's. Also not helpful. You end up going in circles. So it really comes down to what you personally want to do.

    For myself, I place me in H. What is H? Human. But I suppose sometimes and in some opinions some people would not call me Human because I don't fit their personal definition of Human. That said, in conversation if anyone asks about my gender variations (e.g. "Why are you wearing a women's top?") I say, "Because I am a type of T." I leave it at that and they can think what they want.

    The bottom line is that I am me, you are you and we are all who we are. Do we really need something more when Human includes so much variation? I think not, but we do need terms so we can communicate and all terms are approximations.

  12. #12
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    I consider myself a W. A woman born with male body parts. I’m not part of the LGBT community, but I’ll accept support from anywhere.
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Nov 2016
    Greater Houston

    Current convention is to use "transgender" as an umbrella term to cover all forms of gender identity or expression. I have no problem calling myself transsexual. It's easier to say than "I suffer from gender dysphoria...". I also respond favorably to being called "a woman".

    As for the LGB... community. They don't get us, as a rule, and the support groups that lump as together with the LGB people are... let's call it "ineffective" when it comes to supporting the T people.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

  14. #14
    💝😍💘💕💗❤️*🔥💔❤️*🔥💗💕💘😍 💝 Patience's Avatar
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    Feb 2018
    I am part of everything.
    There has never been a better time to be a transvestite, yet, people will complain.

    The feeling of being an outsider or not belonging should be especially difficult for those who have been conditioned by their upbringing to feel like they are part of the mainstream, with the implication that anyone who deviates in any way is an outsider or at least undesirable in one way or another.

    And, If that's how bad it feels for some of us to be Transgender within the LGBTQ+ community, imagine how Black people feel and are treated in America generally. And then remember there are those who are transgender and Black. Try walking a mile in those heels.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  15. #15
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Aug 2021
    New Jersey
    Speaking only for myself, I am very happy to be considered as part of the LGBTQ+ community, even if it's only on the fringe, or a +. I also have no problem with the T - not transgender but rather the what seems to be the now dated term "transvestite".

    Of course one of the goals of the LGBTQ+ community inclusivity. Why divide ourselves with terms or letters?

  16. #16
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    Sep 2015
    From the handful of years I’ve been on this forum, it seems most crossdressers identify as straight, cisgender men.
    Simply wearing clothes from the women’s side of the aisle, putting on some makeup and a wig isn’t really the thing that qualifies a person as transgender/transsexual.

    It’s something you feel down to the depth of your being. You know in your heart of hearts you are not a man. You are something other than how people perceive you.

    For those on this thread who consider themselves part of the queer community, I hope you do more than adjust your wig and touch up your makeup. I hope you’re calling out trans bigots when you see them spewing hate on your facebook page. I hope you’re marching in protest against trans bigot politicians who are trying to eradicate trans people. I hope you’re donating time and/or money to queer advocacy groups.
    I am not a woman nor am I a man... I am an enby. Hi, I am Wren.

  17. #17
    Banned Read only
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Don't identify what you do or how you feel with one letter or word. Talk in complete sentences and paragraphs. It's complicated. Why box yourself in with a letter? Society seems to want to always stick a person into a box.

  18. #18
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    Area Zona
    I don't care a bit about the alphabet soup. And I'm not transgender, I do transition my gender expression for short periods of time to have a female like fantasy experience.
    No dysphoria or confusion. It's simply to enhance and enjoy my male existence. I don't know why everyone doesn't do it.
    Genetic women have been blurring the lines for as long as anyone can remember.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  19. #19
    Stockings and heels girl Linda Stockings's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    North of DC
    I believe I can understand and relate to just about all the opinions and viewpoints stated above. It may be appropriate to add: "If you walk down the middle of the road you will be hit by cars going both ways." I don't remember who first coined that statement, but if feels pertinent to me.

  20. #20
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    Jan 2009
    Hollywood & Vine
    I do alot of volunteering with LGB issues I was raised and guided in the 60' through 80's by my 2 pro drag cousins..IN Texas at that and those men and women suffered . ALOT get the most basic human rights they now try to have..
    I find it sort of odd so many males that dress in women's clothing and OVERLY REPEATEDLY claim to be so straight would want to belong to LGB.. I think alot of it is white male privilege ..your used to getting your way. Sort of the same as Patience' comment .

    In recent years I've come to believe that t/cds need their own organization
    IG : Knightress Oxide

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    Jan 2022

    Whether we like it or not, in today's environment, we are all considered trans with trans defined as those who present as opposite to the sex they were assigned at birth either part-time or all the time. I discussed this last month with the legendary Dallas Denny, a long-time leader in the trans rights movement ( who I had the pleasure of meeting at a LGBTQ support group meeting in September.
    "I may be going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride!" - Grateful Dead

  22. #22
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
    Quote Originally Posted by IamWren View Post
    From the handful of years I?ve been on this forum, it seems most crossdressers identify as straight, cisgender men.
    Simply wearing clothes from the women?s side of the aisle, putting on some makeup and a wig isn?t really the thing that qualifies a person as transgender/transsexual.
    I identify as a straight, cisgender man, and yet, my transvestism seems a little more complicated in my eyes (and I guess my wife's too, since she considers it more than just a hobby) than this simplistic (and let's be honest, quite condescending) description.
    Also, just like I don't think identifying as queer is required to defend queers' rights, I don't see why queers should be lectured if they chose not to. Defending queers', or any other oppressed population's rights is everyone's responsibility. A queer person doesn't have to be enrolled into a group if she didn't ask to, nor be scolded if she doesn't want to fight battles she didn't sign for, no matter how noble the cause. Otherwise it'd mean that being queer would come with additional responsibilities compared to the average human. At that point, in the same spirit, you could also patronize all women who don't identify and act as feminists.

    To the OP: I have no use for labels and never fancied belonging to "groups" of any kind (including crossdressers). My dressing isn't more identifying than many other things I do or am, it's a trait among many others of equal importance. If I were you I would probably leave the letters out, since as a crossdresser you will constantly find people telling you that you are A or B, while in the next millisecond other folks will be adamant that you definitely don't qualify for any of these. I am not A or B. I am a crossdresser, a transvestite. And I am so many other things too.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
    I will likely get a lot of blowback for expressing this opinion, but I am flabbergasted by the amount of transphobia and denial expressed on this thread. I agree with Fiona, do not kid yourself. If you are a crossdresser, you are on the transgender continuum. Like it or not, labels are necessary identifiers to help people find support and community. Someone who is transgender is not a transsexual. Transsexuals are a very small percentage, a very small minority of the transgender community. If you are crossdressing, you are somewhere on the transgender continuum. (No matter what you might tell yourself.)

  24. #24
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    Here's my take on it:

    U can call yourself whatever u like. And, u can call me whatever u like. And believe me, quite few don't call me, a trans or a CD. One favorite adjective starts with an A!
    Just don't call me late to dinner. THAT is the only thing that pisses me off!

    If I can remember, I'll call u whatever u like.

    But, I draw the line when u insist I believe u r what u say u r! I'll need some proof for that!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  25. #25
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2009
    I agree with NancyJ...(comment #24 above)..if you are a genetic male and like to dress or present as a female, you are somewhere on the Transgender spectrum. No big deal.

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