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Thread: Should we all embrace the T?

  1. #51
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    Evidence on this board is that the only time any of these terms are understood is when somebody says they came out to their sister, mother, friend, co-worker as ____ (fill in the blank) and they were totally accepting and wanted to take them shopping! Amazing how in that scenario, one word is all it takes to succinctly describe what it takes the rest of us a lifetime to analyze and never understand.

    I've been doing this thing for a long time. Over the years I've claimed to not be may of the things I am. Sometimes I knew it, sometimes I really didn't. I find now that it's easier to go with what people think you are. No point in trying to explain it when we can't even agree amongst ourselves.

    Of course, the one that gets everybody's panties in a wad is "gay". I'm quite familiar with the endless arguments and adjustments for context, but I'll bet there has never been a single person I've met or who has seen me (or any of you) in any state of crossdress who's initial thought was not "gay". In my case, that was probably a little more perceptive than I was willing to acknowledge, but even if it's not it's probably not worth a defensive explanation.

    I think we lost the virile, badass argument when we started wearing panties because men's underwear was "too rough".

  2. #52
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    Some people have a fascination with labels and making sure everyone else fits into their own definitions of said labels. If you think you're transgender, that's fine with me. But as Krisi said, I was born a male and I'll die a male, there's no confusion here. As for my CDing, I like cute clothes, that's it. I don't pretend to be something I'm not except on Halloween, and then I'm more likely to be a vampire than a woman. Maybe you'd like to call me trans-undead.

  3. #53
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    yes we should!

  4. #54
    Member RachelB.'s Avatar
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    Don't worry about labels. Be yourself and do what you feel comfortable with.

  5. #55
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyJ View Post
    Krisi, you seem to misunderstood the concept. It is not about gender confusion or identity (only), but also about gender expression. Someone who crossdresses is expressing themselves in the opposite gender and therefore falls under the currently most widely accepted definition of transgender.
    When I crossdress I am NOT expressing myself in the opposite gender, I just like the clothes that the opposite gender gets to wear. As I've said, I have no confusion. I know what I am. I am not a woman, I'm a man in cute and comfortable clothes. The most widely accepted definition of "transgender" is people who want to change their genders, not people who like the clothes of the other gender.

  6. #56
    Just another 'Gurl'
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    I definitely consider myself part of the LGBT community. I see myself as both bi and somewhere on the transgender spectrum.
    Just another man in a dress

  7. #57
    Member Jade P's Avatar
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    Yes I am a cross dresser and I am gender fluid both of which are under the transgender umbrella. I would not consider me to be a straight male even though I am only attracted to women. Thats okay with me because I am a blend of male and female. I am on the transgender spectrum and I am proud to be part of the LGBTQ community.

  8. #58
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrdinaryAverageGuy View Post
    When I crossdress I am NOT expressing myself in the opposite gender, I just like the clothes that the opposite gender gets to wear. As I've said, I have no confusion. I know what I am. I am not a woman, I'm a man in cute and comfortable clothes. The most widely accepted definition of "transgender" is people who want to change their genders, not people who like the clothes of the other gender.
    Average Guy, I would have been happy to let this drop, but you keep insisting that you do not fall within the umbrella of transgender. In another recent thread, you describe how you wear (daily, I believe) female tank tops and underwear and often wear a skirt or a dress before you go to work. Fine with me, but this does fall within the description of the American Psychological Association for transgender, which you will find here: https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/transgender.

    I direct you specifically to this section under the heading: What are some categories or types of transgender people? It reads (in part) "People who cross-dress wear clothing that is traditionally or stereotypically worn by another gender in their culture. They vary in how completely they cross-dress, from one article of clothing to fully cross-dressing. Those who cross-dress are usually comfortable with their assigned sex and do not wish to change it. Cross-dressing is a form of gender expression and is not necessarily tied to erotic activity. Cross-dressing is not indicative of sexual orientation."

    The article clearly states that transgender is an umbrella term that includes those who crossdress (certainly to the level that you describe doing) as well as those who choose to transition (which is a minority of the population of transgender people). I, like you, am one hundred percent male, and I have a hetrosexual sexual relationship with my wife. I know that I am male (of course), but I also am transgender, not transsexual).

    I do not care what you call yourself. Just stop implying that men who cross-dress do not fall within the broader category of transgender. As transgender people are being increasingly attacked on social media, (there was another article about this in the Washington Post this morning), we need to stand together and support them, not fight amongst ourselves. Just my opinion, Nancy
    Last edited by NancyJ; 12-04-2022 at 11:11 AM.

  9. #59
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    So I did some more research on the term, and verified both that what you, Nancy, and what I am saying are correct, depending your point of view. Nowadays, both the APA and modern social groups are using the word "transgender" to mean pretty much anything involving gender bending. Historically however, the word "transgenderism" used to mean "the urge for gender ('sex') change", at least when it was (probably) coined in 1965. I've asked a few "normal" people what they think "transgender" means, and they talk about people who want to change their sex/gender, not crossdressers or drag queens, and definitely not gays/lesbians (who do things that cross over traditional gender roles).

    From a practical viewpoint, and as much as I hate labels, they should at least mean something. If you refer to someone to most people (not on this site, obviously, but in real life) as transgender, most will envision someone changing their body or at least trying to convince others that they are something different than how they were born. Not talking about a drag queen or me in a skirt, because no one's believing that for a second, but talking about people who actively try to present and/or live as the other gender.

    When my wife and I had The Talk, she asked me if I was a crossdresser. Obviously, I said, considering what I was wearing at the time. She asked me if I was transgender, and she meant did I want to become a woman. I said absolutely not, which was and is the truth. If I would have said "yes" and tried to explain the whole umbrella thing it would have turned ugly fast.

    So yes, according to the new and improved definitions we're all trans here. But that doesn't accurately describe any of us since the word now means so many different things. Let's face it, there are about as many different perspectives of how we crossdress and why on here as there are members. Personally I'd like to go back to using words like transexual and transvestite, because then at least everyone knew what we were talking about.

    Peace.

  10. #60
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    AverageGuy, Thank you for yourr response and for taking the time to do some research. This is not 1965. My view would be that since we are crossdressers, we should be doing what we can to eliminate harmful prejudices and stereotypes, not contribute to them. So, from my perspective, your point that many in the general public (including you and your wife apparently) connote transgender with transexualism demonstrates a tremendous information gap. All I am asking is that, as one of us, that you understand the present day terminology so that you can (at the very least) know when we are being unfairly treated, if not help stand up for our rights.

    I will resist the urge to get too political, but the article in today’s WaPo indicated that transgender has become the second most cited target of hate speech. I think it is important to know that they are talking about us (including you).

    Peace to you as well. Nancy
    Last edited by NancyJ; 12-05-2022 at 07:39 AM.

  11. #61
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    What NancyJ said. Identify, don't Identify; but support. Because if they're after the drag queens now, they'll be after the crossdressers next, and your white male privilege isn't going to save you.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

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