Should we all embrace the T?

[TheHiddenMe]

The next time somewhat starts a thread complaining that muggles don't understand "us" just remember no two people on this board can agree what it means.

Let's be clear; the T stands for Transgender.

Here's the wiki link for Transgender. I think it sums it up pretty well.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender

Here is what is says in regard to crossdressers.

Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender,[10][11] and the term may be defined very broadly to include cross-dressers.[12] The term does not have a universally accepted definition, including among researchers.[13]

Emphasis added by me.

IMO, I, as a self-described CD, consider myself to be under The TG umbrella. YMMV.

OTOH.

THAT is what defines a CROSSDRESSER (It used to be called Transvestite) A crossdresser is a person who dresses as the opposite sex who IS NOT GAY Transsexual or BI. even though those groups are also known to cross dress, they already have their name/terminology. they cross dress VERB SO we "outsiders" are the Crossdresser NOUN.

No. Once again, crossdressing has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation. You can be gay or straight and be a CD.

Here is the wiki definition of cross-dressing.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-dressing

Cross-dressing is the act of wearing items of clothing not commonly associated with one's sex.

NOTHING in the definition about sexual orientation. You can be a straight CD, a bi CD, or a gay CD, and you are still defined as a crossdresser.

It also adds:

Cross-dressing is not synonymous with being transgender.

The two terms are NOT equivalent.

[NancyJ]

Sun-Dee, Thank you for your post. It adds clarification. The only thing I would quibble with is the statement that Crossdressing is not synonymous with being transgender. For clarification, I was not suggesting that the terms were synonymous. That would be like suggesting that wind or rain were synonymous with weather. Instead, crossdressing is on the spectrum or continuum or one aspect of transgender just as wind or rain are part of aspects of weather.

Why do I think it is important that we accept that we are part of this larger group? Because this group Is facing gross misunderstanding, hatred, and discrimination, and if anybody should understand the importance of freedom of gender expression, we should.

[DianeT]

Like it or not, labels are necessary identifiers to help people find support and community.

I agree that people need to group and find common identifying traits to fight for their rights. But that's a different matter. The OP seems to be more looking for how to identify herself to an audience, and for that, in my opinion, labels aren't a necessity. And in the particular case of crossdressers, often prove to bring much more confusion than clarity to the table (the threads here are a testimony of that). For example, no matter what the Wikipedia might say, as a private CDer who doesn't interact outside, I don't identify as transgender at all (although I don't mind if people identify me as such). I am in search of what it may have been for me to look like a female. But I am not that female, and I am not moving into the gender continuum, or more precisely, not any more than any other non/crossdressing male or female. A continuum conveys the idea of a linear scale, but the gender scale is actually a multi-dimensional space. We are in fact all positioned at different coordinates of many gender dimensions, and everyone can move around these positions in variable amounts, depending on the context and personality. The Wikipedia article about transgender starts by defining it as a disconnect between your sex at birth and expressed gender, no wonder that it's not at ease when defining gender fluid persons or crossdressers, where the disconnect can be temporary, and even controlled. Like Dutchess said, CDers may need a new category (but as soon as one will be created, ten sub-categories will emerge, so...).
Note that I don't go out and therefore don't suffer from discrimination, and don't suffer either from gender dysphoria (as far as I can tell). Your mileage will obviously vary.

A last word about labels: if you ever find the letter that fits crossdressers, you know that the instant you will tell it to a group of people who are not specialists in the matter (and I mean, professionals), everyone will understand it a different way. To disambiguate it, you will of course resort to a definition of the group targeted by that letter.
Then you'll realize you don't need a letter, you need a definition. Like Stephanie said, just use sentences.

[TheHiddenMe]

I have posted this before, but these are the survey numbers from a 2021 Gallup poll that said overall 7.1% of Americans self-identify as LGBT.

Of the 7.1%, 10% self-identify as Transgender. There are about 260 million adults in the US (aged 18 and above), so .7% of the population would suggest about 1.8 million adult Americans who self-identify as transgender.

More details at the link. More young people self-identify than older people.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/389792/lgbt-identification-ticks-up.aspx

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

I wouldn't have self identified as trans to a survey until I finally accepted it, but when I was believing I was 'just a crossdresser' I'd put myself in the T category in my own head, would not doth protest too much, methinks.

[Jade P]

I consider myself transgender because I was born with male anatomy and my mind and spirit are gender fluid, both male and female. If my gender was accepted by my wife and family I would probably dress female 80 percent of the time but I dont feel the need to change my male body with surgery.

[GraceM]

I definitely don't consider myself transgender. There has been a lot of great back and forth on this thread about what the labels mean and how us square pegs fit into the round holes. Crossdressing is something I do, but I also don't like the label crossdresser too much but if it helps others to understand then ok. If anything, I think gender-fluid would be a good description, because this is so much more than about clothing for me, but it's also not about creating a female persona, but rather living with the female that has been an integral part of me for so long that I want to let shine here and there in my own way. I am ME.

[SaraLin]

I don't know, but to me the whole label issue is a bit of a tempest in a teapot.

If I see someone I don't know, I will instinctively pick one of three gender options [male/female/dunno] based on how they're presenting themselves. and would use that assumption if I'm interacting with them in any way (yes Sir, Thank you Miss, etc.)

Dressed to look male or female? simple - I'll use that.
Dressed ambiguously? I'd avoid gender markers if I could (Have a nice day, or something such)

If it's someone I DO know, I'll try to use whatever terms they prefer and hope they'll forgive me if I occasionally slip up.

As for their sexual preferences (L,G,B, etc.) - I don't really care. I'm off the market anyway.

Call yourself by whatever term you want. I'll treat you as another worthwhile human being, regardless.

[nancy58]

I embraced the T quite awhile ago, but my grip has been tightening in recent years. In my earlier discussions with my therapist, she asked me why I felt I needed to label myself. I had no good answer, but I eventually became more comfortable and went from thinking of myself as "a man who dresses in women's clothes" to "crossdresser" or "transgender". As time passed and societal acceptance of transgender people seemed to be growing, I was able to accept myself as being part of the LGBTQ+ rainbow. (I recently bought a Human Rights Campaign sticker for my car -- the closest I have gotten to coming out to people other than my wife. There is a quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin: "We must all hang together, or we shall all hang separately."

[BLUE ORCHID]

I have Tee shirts, Other than that I am just a Crossdressed,

Don't try to Confuse me with your Mixed up Alphabet. >Orchid**OO**

[sometimes_miss]

I embraced the 'T', for a while, until I eventually figured out why it didn't quite fit. There are simply so many causes of GID that aren't understood yet, that we shouldn't just toss someone into the trans category just because they are experiencing some of the same symptoms that transsexuals do.
As many now understand, we exist on a spectrum of gender experiences, and don't always fit into one category or another.
More important, is to accept that it doesn't really matter where we fall on the gender line; more important, is that we accept other's feelings and tolerate what they need to help deal with in their lives, to try to live what most would consider a 'normal' life. We accept women's need to behave differently from men, and so we also need to accept those of us who need to behave outside the binary world, in order to be able to feel okay with who they are. After all, for the most part, it doesn't affect how their responsibilities to our societies occurs. Most of us will gladly step out in front of some other aggressor attacking women or children. It's likely that we need to make the women aware of this, as it's a subconscious concern that they have to deal with, when considering men who exhibit transgender behavior. The whole abandonment suspicion of masculine responsibility to protect women and children is a big problem that they worry about, whether admitted to or not. Despite the desire to get the ERA pushed through congress, women still will rely on us to protect them and children. We have to find some way to let them know, that just because we embrace so many feminine feelings and behaviors, being their protectors is not something that we will ever toss aside. I'm a huge six foot four, 250 pound male, and will always volunteer to escort women when in any environment where there may be some danger to them. While we may see it as insignificant, it is still very important to women, that even though we may temporarily be 'en femme' mode, we will still stand up for them, when they need it.

[GaleWarning]

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Ditto for your personal choice of letter or acronym.

[Genifer Teal]

I don't care a bit about the alphabet soup. And I'm not transgender, I do transition my gender expression for short periods of time to have a female like fantasy experience.
No dysphoria or confusion. It's simply to enhance and enjoy my male existence. I don't know why everyone doesn't do it.
Genetic women have been blurring the lines for as long as anyone can remember.

I think we fit a similar category. I don't feel I was supposed to be something else or any mistake was made just that given the choice I'd rather present as and be a woman. I don't have any dysphoria about being born male it's just not what I would prefer to be and I'd be happy to present as a woman all the time. You say genetic women have been blurring gender lines for a long time but have they really been hiding their chest and enhancing lower areas? That takes it to a different level and one needs to think what's really going on if you need to do that. I get what you're saying. Just food for thought.

[NancyJ]

To be honest, I dislike this debate that we, as crossdressers, have about labels. I think it gets in the way of us, as was the original question of this post, embracing the T in transgender. Doing so is increasingly important in the face of uptick of hate towards people who are, at the very least, similar to us. The Colorado Springs tragedy was fed by considerable misinformation and hateful speech on certain media sources about people like us. Nancy

[Sabine Janus]

I live for the day when we can call them people and leave the labels out of it. Who you love and how you see yourself if no one's business but there own.

Until then, we have each other i guess.

[Aunt Kelly]

For what it's worth, the T is for transgender, which includes all gender-non-conforming people.
Now... I say "for what it's worth" because the LGB community (generally speaking) does not "get" us, especially the TS subgroup. Our issues are not the same.

[Michelle1955]

First I was born in 1955, totally different thinking back then. Things have changed over time.
Myself: Transgender -Yes
Gender: Female (90%) Male (10%) But prior to 1960 I identified wanting to be a girl. I always struggled with my male body.
Puberty was terrible.
Life - Wife, 2 kids, 1 son-in law, 1 grandson. Family determines mostly what I wear daily.
But: me being transgender / female in my head never changes.
Clothing: I can wear either type or both at the same time. But I underdress daily to try to keep my female brain in a happy mode.
Does this condition go away? No never. Can I stop: No never.

Do things change: Yes medical technology changes all the time.
Politics is a big problem, politicians and the public do not understand as a whole. (similar to the firearm debates)

Transgender - In my opinion is an umbrella term that have many sub-sections. It encompasses (in my opinion) from crossdressers, closet crossdressers, part time dressers, full time crossdressers, partial surgeries, full surgeries, etc (what every else you want add additional categories. And I believe any person can shift categories or even be in multiple categories.

Binary and non-binary can apply to most heading.
Sexual orientation is separate topic from the transgender umbrella.

[kimdl93]

It?s really up to you as an individual to decide whether the T is meaningful or applicable to you.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I am NOT transgender. Transgenders are people who want to change their gender, or think they're a different gender, or can't figure out what gender they are. I'm a guy. I'm male. Can't change that and don't want to. I am a crossdresser. Or a transvestite, although for some reason that I don't understand that term is now considered offensive. I'm a man in a dress (ok, right now leggings and a woman's t-shirt). I'm not a woman, I will never be a woman, the technology doesn't currently exist to change me into a woman even if I wanted to.

What's the name of this website again? Because if it was transgenders.com, I wouldn't be here.

[CDSophie62]

I'm with DaniellaUK & Suzanne
I consider myself a Crossdresser if you want a specific term and I also believe that Transgender term DOES include Crossdressing and that it doesn't always mean just those who want to change gender but for me it's about expressing myself as a woman from time to time.

So I'm a Crossdresser AND Transgender.

I saw this definition of Transgender as an 'Umbrella' term & I think that's a great way for us to understand it & also to explain to others.

Transumbrella.jpg
Others may disagree but I think it's a good definition and one that allows us to find allies with others without having to agree 100% about who we each are & want to be.

Sophie

[Shiny]

Part of my Psych major in school said that this "T" factor is unrelated to "dressing." It's the mental position you personally find yourself in. However, in the really dusty books from the late 1800's it does mention if you start dressing in a single item you will progress to wearing everything, down to hair and makeup and all. I didn't believe this at first but have over the decades come to realize this as FACT! One of the few things they got right! My common sense has won the day in the end but your personal thoughts about going farther with this "hobby" is totally with you and no one else. I cannot "pass" and it would be a train-wreck to even try so I get that and have stayed in the closet as they say.

[NancyJ]

The modern definition of Transgender (see Wikipedia plus other sources) is someone whose gender identity OR gender EXPRESSION does not match that of their biological sex at birth. Given that, if you cross dress, you fall under the so called T umbrella. The first transphobe you must conquer is yourself. Like they say, De’Nile ain’t just a river…

[Krisi]

I think of myself as a "crossdresser", nothing more. I am not confused about my gender, I entered this world as a male and will leave it as a male.

Don't try to tell me that I am something that I am not.

[Aunt Kelly]

I am NOT transgender. Transgenders are people who want to change their gender, or think they're a different gender, or can't figure out what gender they are

...and here we go with the "those labels don't apply to me" debate again. <sigh>
Heaven forbid we let the American Psychological Association definition of "transgender" mean the same thing for everybody - "Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth". https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/transgender

[NancyJ]

Krisi, you seem to misunderstood the concept. It is not about gender confusion or identity (only), but also about gender expression. Someone who crossdresses is expressing themselves in the opposite gender and therefore falls under the currently most widely accepted definition of transgender.

Why is this important? Because transgender people are being attacked, literally and politically.