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Thread: It Pays To Be Observant

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    It Pays To Be Observant

    Recently I went shopping at a very large upscale mall which has parking both outdoors and in parking garages. I parked in a garage on a level where I usually go because it has a direct entrance into Nordstroms. I was wearing a nice black & white fluffy summer-weight skirt that came to 3-4 inches above my knees, a silky sleeveless black v-neck top & black clogs.

    After a full day of shopping and lunch it was time to leave. As I walked into Nordstroms, I noticed a guy leaving the store who gave me a long head-to-toe looking over. Late 40's, dressed casual. Half way through the store I got on an escalator to get to the floor with the exit to the garage and the same guy who was leaving the store now gets on the escalator some distance behind me. Okay maybe he just forgot something. Close to the exit door I glance around and he's walking in my direction. Maybe he's just heading to this particular area to buy something. Maybe not as my spidey sense now kicks into high gear! I exit, start walking down the aisle and hear footsteps in the same aisle. Maybe he's parked nearby? Maybe not, time to think about fight or flight just in case. I get in my car, watch in the mirror as he gives a long look into the car as he passes. Hopefully he's gone to his car. But I back out and now he's standing in the middle of the aisle about 5 cars away staring at me without moving. His being a lowlife is now confirmed. Decisions, decisions - do I run the lowlife over or go in the other direction to exit the garage. Sadly discretion was the better part of valor and I exited the other way.

    In all likelihood nothing would have happened, it is a busy mall with busy parking areas. I am relating this story not to make others fearful of what may happen to them by going out en femme but to insure that everyone remains observant of their surroundings whenever and wherever they are out and about. As long as you are not in a bad part of town or out alone at night in a deserted area there really is no reason to be fearful. Being observant doesn't mean you have to be tensed up all the time either. Just relax, smile, go out and have a good time but be aware of what and who is around you. After a while it will become second nature.
    "I may be going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride!" - Grateful Dead

  2. #2
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Fiona,

    Sound advice. Women have learned to be that way. sadly it's part of their lives.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  3. #3
    Junior Member NonbiNancy's Avatar
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    Fiona, Thanks for sharing your story and the helpful reminder.

  4. #4
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    Situational awareness will help keep you alive no matter who or what you are or how you're dressed. Good advice.

  5. #5
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    It certainly does pay to be observant. I was at a factory outlet center on a weekday afternoon recently and needed to se the rest room. The nearest one was in an area behind the shopping area requiring a walk through a remote area on a day when there were few people in the main area and none where I was walking. I had that sense that this is a place where something bad could happen. Thankfully nothing did and I did notice a security car when I left the area. We always need to be vigilant and not get completely immersed in the joy that dressing brings no matter how much we want to.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Sounds like he wanted your phone number.

    Still your are right, as a girl you need to more aware.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Good PSA for all of us Fiona. It's one of the downsides of taking on aspects the female experience I'm afraid, but good advice for all of us - male or female.
    www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/

  8. #8
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Unfortunately there are all sorts of creeps out and about. Everyone needs to be observant no matter what mode you are in.
    Staying safe is the goal.
    Thanks for this thread Fiona
    Crissy

  9. #9
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Glad your story had a safe ending for you

  10. #10
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiona_44 View Post
    His being a lowlife is now confirmed. Decisions, decisions - do I run the lowlife over or go in the other direction to exit the garage.
    Run over the guy? Maybe I lost something in translation since nobody raised an eyebrow, but are you really talking about ending a life you judged unworthy from the safety of your car?

  11. #11
    Member Shiny's Avatar
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    Yeah, you make the decision to hit-the-silk and that is a major problem that is always at the top of my list!

  12. #12
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Fiona, while I agree the guy was a creep, once you were in your car you were safe and didn't need to consider running over the guy. I realize adrenaline makes us think that way, but flight, rather than fight, is always the better option.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #13
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Thanks for a great reminder of what us girls need to be doing to remain safe.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  14. #14
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    To the OP:

    Welcome to the world of womanhood.

    Perhaps you have had a glimpse into what women go through in everyday life. A guy can ignore or dismiss things that women (trans-, Cis-, CD's) cannot.
    Young girls learn this at an early age. Women who value their safety practice it constantly. And if you like to appear in public as a woman, you NEED to be aware, be cautious, and not take unnecessary risks!

    I'm NOT saying that the OP did anything wrong, creeps are creeps, and are gonna creep. OP was uncomfortable and felt unsafe, and the OP is MALE! Imagine how a ciswoman would feel in that same set of circumstances.

    As to the OP self-debating over fleeing, or running down the creep in her car, she made the correct choice.

    Once in her vehicle, with windows up and doors locked, she was safe. To decide to run down a person who made NO overt signs of aggression or hostile intent (no weapon displayed, no hostile actions or words), would be murder in cold blood, and the OP would be facing serious charges, and justifiably so!

  15. #15
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    Unfortunately there are creeps everywhere. There are creeps who want to hook up with a transgender woman or a cross dresser, and, then there are those who want to harrass or do a person harm for who they are. Frankly, I'm thinking it was a man who does not approve of a lifestyle rather than one trying to hook up with you. A man trying to hook up always seems to make a pass and then get on with life. The other harbors some sort of ill will and in many cases it just boils up inside. I would recommend in these situations is to take a picture with a cell phone. In Washington State, and I assume in other states, all one has to do to find out a registered owner of a vehicle is to go down to DMV, pay several dollars, fill out a form and the person has the name and address of the owner of the vehicle. DMV is suppose to notify the owner that a inquiry was made. This happened to me, but the identification of the requester was bogus. If something were to happen later, then you'd have a picture. You may think I am nuts, but as a retired federal official I know the value of contemporaneous record keeping.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    Ladies,

    Apparently some of you thought my comment about running over the mutt was serious. In fact, it was made as a tongue-in-cheek comment which is defined as:
    "If you say something tongue in cheek, you intend it to be understood as a joke, although you might appear to be serious". Sorry if some didn't take it that way but did you seriously think I'd completely ruin my life by running over and killing this person?
    "I may be going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride!" - Grateful Dead

  17. #17
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    there is an old song from the mid 1950s ....."Standing On The Corner"
    This is the first verse.....

    Standing on a corner watching all the girls go by
    Standing on a corner watching all the girls go by
    Brother you don't know a nicer occupation
    Matter of fact, neither do I
    Than standing on a corner watching all the girls
    Watching all the girls, watching all the girls go by


    Fact is girl watching and even innocent following a pretty gal has always happened.

    Yes there is a line that should not be crossed between innocent, discreet following and stalking.
    We all must be aware of the possibility of the latter.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 10-31-2022 at 03:44 PM.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    BarbaraJo, that is 1 of 837 50s, 60s, and 70s songs I have downloaded on my car's HDD. I agree with the words of that song because there really isn't anything much better than "watching all the girls go by."
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  19. #19
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiona_44 View Post
    Ladies,

    Apparently some of you thought my comment about running over the mutt was serious. In fact, it was made as a tongue-in-cheek comment which is defined as:
    "If you say something tongue in cheek, you intend it to be understood as a joke, although you might appear to be serious". Sorry if some didn't take it that way but did you seriously think I'd completely ruin my life by running over and killing this person?
    A Halloween joke it was. Thanks for straightening this up.
    Apart from that, I'm a bit astonished that your first choice when followed by a stranger was to head for the garage rather than to security staff. Reminds me a bit of these horror movies where teenagers, after discovering that a killer is in the house and is methodically clubbing one protagonist after another, invariably decide "ok guys, let's split up".
    Last edited by DianeT; 10-31-2022 at 07:41 PM.

  20. #20
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Listen, there's a lesson to be learned here ladies:

    If u notice someone eyeballing u in a crowded mall, etc? Do NOT head out to your car parkedin a secluded area! Even if you're shy, etc., stop and watch the person watching u. Wait until it's clear they're gone before leaving the safe, crowded, space you're in!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I dislike parking garages, even though the space is probably on video, I find them creepy.

    Glad everything turned out well in your case. Sorry if you got a fright.

  22. #22
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Good point Doc!
    Crissy

  23. #23
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    A timely reminder for everyone to be careful out there.Some individuals do not like different. A young TG on their 1st night out was assaulted at a pub near where I live.

  24. #24
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, bad things happening is no longer just in "bad parts of town". Bad people have transportation and may do bad things wherever they are.

    I will resist the temptation to rant, just know that it is your responsibility to watch out for your own safety. You have little or no help.
    Last edited by char GG; 11-03-2022 at 09:20 AM. Reason: Deleted duplicate post within the post
    Krisi

  25. #25
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    I used to believe that being a first responder, a sailor, and a pilot were the things that help me refine "situational awareness". They did, of course, but since then, I've learned that that is something that most women learn as well just by going through life every day.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

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