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Thread: Are you comfortable in the closet?

  1. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Know...I wish I had been brave enough to go out dressed back when I was still young and unwrinkled

  2. #27
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
    owever, I can say I've never had a bad experience. <snip>
    No one has the power to know what others are thinking.
    Just because YOU have never had a bad experience, doesn't mean anything. Lots of LGBTQ people have been killed, just because of who they are.

    And yes, we do get to know what others are thinking, when we are stealth and in drab, and others don't know that we are crossdressers, and we get to be 'a fly on the wall' and get to hear what they really think when another one of us shows up, and the laughter and derisive discussions start behind that person's back.
    While most will go about their business and not say anything to us, some of us simply don't want to walk around with that imaginary target that those mean people paint on our backs, wishing they could shoot us.

    I grew up with an ugly birthmark on my face, constantly being picked on and called names; many other kids treated me like a leper for much of my childhood adolescence. I have no wish to repeat that experience, or be reminded of it. I had my face fixed, and lived out of the spotlight for decades now, and wish to remain just another average person.

    So my closet will suit me just fine. It's a nice closet, with all my favorite pretty things in it. I have no great desire or need, to go out, displaying to the world a Shrek wearing a tutu. They don't want to see that, and I don't want to see the subtle sidelong glances that indicate they just wish I'd go away.

    I see my drab clothes as just another uniform that I wear in order to do certain tasks where regular clothes won't do, such as a skin diving outfit, ski outerwear for when it's freezing, or scrubs when working at the hospital. As long as I can come home, and spend my time here in my pretty things, I'm content.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  3. #28
    Once upon a time... Veronica Lacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Quote Originally Posted by CeCe View Post
    Greetings, girls. At this stage in my journey, I am comfortable dressing at home alone as basically a man in a dress. I am not interested in going out dressed among strangers or even coworkers. I think about what it would be like to be dressed among friends, however. I guess I am more concerned about their comfort level than mine. Do many of us go through this stage of getting comfortable in the closet?
    I am comfortable keeping my dressing to myself. My wife has always known this part of me and this affords me reasonable opportunities to wear what I please just not always when I please. I long ago accepted this as a sufficient compromise.

    The rest of the world at large? Society is becoming more accepting but unless it suddenly accepts without discrimination, fanfare or memory of more repressive times that a fellow might wear women's clothing in everyday life then I won't be concerning myself with ever trying. And while I do not consider dressing beyond my front door as a priority nor long-term goal perhaps one day I may share - in words - with a close friend or two more about myself. Again, if it never happens then so be it.

    I will continue to wish that each one of us finds our own personal level of self-acceptance of where and when we choose to be ourselves.
    Part-time crossdresser, full-time human

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Basingstoke, Uk
    No im not comfortable in the closet.
    But I wouldnt be comfortable out of the closet either.
    Probably less so.
    So I just struggle on.

  5. #30
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Comfort is highly over rated! I do not think I have never been really comfortable and always pushed the envelope. Thought I was looking for something more comfortable but in reality I was more likely looking for something more uncomfortable.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  6. #31
    Member Jade P's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
    My closet is my bedroom or under male clothing. My wife knows I crossdress but doesnt want to see me in feminine clothing. So my feminine side must be hidden around the house and outside the house, so nightgowns only in my bedroom and underdress every day in panties and pantyhose.

  7. #32
    Member Monique65's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    North Carolina
    I have been firmly in the closet for over fifty years and am very comfortable with it. I do fantasize about going out, but the reality of my situation dictates otherwise. I might add that this website has helped tremendously in my acceptance of this.
    Honoring the woman within

  8. #33
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    The only disadvantage I find with the closet is the lack of interacting with others. THIS SITE fixes that little inconvenience and give me a bit of a "vent" should I decide I need it. I don't HAVE any need to go out.

  9. #34
    Member Shiny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Not at all! I keep bumping my head on the hangar rod!

  10. #35
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Bangor Maine
    I am totally comfortable with where I am in the journey.
    Unlikely that Raychel will see the light of day anytime soon.
    The world is not ready for that.

    I live alone and can dress whenever I want.
    All is good here.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  11. #36
    New Member wendylovescd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Eastern US
    Comfortable in closet. Strikes a happy balance for me. The only thing I would do differently is shoot photos outside on locations.

  12. #37
    its important mykell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    jer-sea shore
    i was....but then i found this site, i read stories of folks going out, bars, parks, shopping, telling theyre wives they do freaked me dad passed prior to me a.few years her apartment i found a copy of "how to be a transexual" a story about paula grossman who was a music teacher from new york mom was her nurse in 1978 when this was a mind freak for me at 18.

    to make a long story longer everyone had to get dads things when he died but they did not want me to come...that made me think....what would my wife and son think when the find my stash.

    i wouldn't be able to answer they're know, are you gay, do you want to be a women, will you transition, do you love me, blah yea i wrote a note left in my stash but ended up telling her anyway....ended up going to social support events and eventually started my own meet up for a few years and now i volunteer at a thrift shop.

    i may need a double take to figure me out but feeling secure with your "self" is the key....most folks are polite enough....girls and the women shopping at the store are amazingly polite and many of the interactions are priceless.

    you have to stay in your comfort do what is comfortable for you....if you made any promises to your better half you'll have to keep them....if things need to change you have to figure it out....i dont think i could go back to the closet if i had too....this works for me....
    Last edited by mykell; 11-12-2022 at 10:17 PM.
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  13. #38
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Live in Cornwall UK, born in Lancashire
    I would say I am comfortable in the closest yes. Much as I would love to be 5' 8" with small feet small hands and great boobs, I'm not and I never will be. Not being the flabouyant type I never enjoyed the obvious looks I got when I went out dressed in my teen years. So I moved into the closest, where I expect I will remain.

  14. #39
    Member Erin Lafleur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Vancouver, BC / Denver, CO
    Yes, I am quite comfortable to be in the closet, so to speak.
    I am in my mid sixties and I really don't care to wear the type of clothing that would be required for me to blend publicly with other women my age. Seems a bit boring to me.
    I dress, first and foremost, for me. Dressing to conform with the expectations of others seems almost oppressive to me and I can think of no good reason to want to please others before myself. I love feminine and I love pretty.
    Satin, lace, chiffon etc are what I truly enjoy so...I won't be prancing down to the mall anytime soon lol!
    The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard

  15. #40
    Member nancy58's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Northern Virginia
    I am in a DADT marriage and haven't come out to anyone else but my therapist and a couple of doctors. I *hate* being in the closet, and I enjoy it when my wife is out of town and I dress en femme from the moment I get out of bed until I go back to bed in the evening. One reason I've been reluctant to come out to friends and relatives is that I worry about their discomfort. They've always known "Bob", and I don't know how they'd react to my being Nancy.
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving

  16. #41
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    I guess what you mean by in the closet. My wife knows, but no-one else does, other than you lovely ladies and the girls in my meetup group. I am pretty comfortable in my closet.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  17. #42
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    In as few words as possible:

    It's confining and uncomfortable - but safe.
    And my wife guards the door.

  18. #43
    Member Trione's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Central Tx
    My wife knows of my love of lingerie and as long as I keep it at home no problems. At 6'3" I could old pull off a bad man in a dress

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