Hey CD dresserss, what do u consider to be a "Closet dresser"?

[docrobbysherry]

I have been going out to trans events all around the country for 15+ years. Have met 100's of folks while dressed or as Sherry. And, have visited countless bars and clubs dressed.

Yet, I consider myself a closet dresser. Because I don't dress out at everyday, vanilla venues. Or in the town I live in. And, none of those people I met know my real name or where I live. Only my immediate family knows I do this.

Anyway, CeCe's "closet" post made me wonder if there r other dressers who go out dressed but still consider themselves to be "closet dressers", as I do?

[Emily in the south]

I would say Sherry's closet is very special. I understand where you are coming from though Doc. My take on the closet is.. once the cross dresser venture's outside of their own private world where no ones ever sees them en femme, and they leave to interact, even just visually, they are then out of the closet. How ever often that may be.

I really like your latest avatar pic!! At first, I thought it was Madonna

Emily

[audreyinalbany]

I think once you leave the house dressed...or leave the house and then get dressed...you are no longer a 'closet dresser'

[Michelle 51]

I think as long as you keep the fact hid that you crossdress you are in the closet so i agree with you sherry.A gay person is considered being in the closet until they go public with the fact even though they could of been having gay sex for years.I think that is where the term "closet" came from so I don't see us as being any different.Just my opinion.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I think once you leave the house dressed...or leave the house and then get dressed...you are no longer a 'closet dresser'

I am a Closet dresser and I have been outside dressed, at least twice, Once to a Halloween Party Costume contest, as a Gypsy Fortune teller, and once to a Church's Womanless Beauty Contest. I still consider myself closeted.

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I consider a Closet Crossdresser as someone, like me who CDs in private and nobody else knows about it. And I don't go out dressed---except for a reason, like Halloween or Womanless event.

[DianeT]

Doc, you have a different definition of being closeted than me. For me, closeted means done in secrecy. I don't consider myself in the closet anymore since my wife knows. And I don't consider being in the closet in relation with other people since I like my dressing private and it consequently doesn't concern them. Doing something privately doesn't equate secrecy.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I leave the house dressed all the time. As Doc mentioned in a previous thread, my "all the way" isn't the "normal" "all the way" on here, as I don't do makeup. Regardless, I leave the house dressed to my own "all the way", or halfway, quite often.

Yet I'm still in the closet. I go out at night, early morning, or in daytime with tinted windows. I don't interact with people, in fact I avoid them. None of my friends know about my weird hobby, although some of them have seen hints (body clean of hair, toe ring, painted toes, anklet, sometimes a shirt that might have come from the wrong side of the store).

I have gay friends and relatives, they came out of the closet when they told the world they were gay. Since I haven't told the world that I crossdress, seems to me I'm still quite firmly in that closet.

Having said that, DianeT's point above is another interesting take on the whole closet issue.

[Kris Burton]

I'm inclined to agree with you, Doc, and with Michelle. I've just begun to venture out publicly, but i still feel I am in the closet as much as before since it is a secret to everyone else, including family, with the exception of my wife. By the definition I maintain, if I were to let my sons, friends and associates know I was a CDer, then I would be out of the closet. That won't be happening, willingly, anytime soon.

[Heather76]

Doc, I pretty much agree with your definition of being in the closet. My wife knows as does one step-nephew and one ciswoman friend. I have been out dressed only 5 times. Each time was in a place I would only meet and interact with strangers. No other family and friends know I cross dress and it will likely remain like that for a long, long time. I will consider myself out of the closet the day I tell many, many family members and friends that I cross dress. I doubt that will ever happen.

[mbmeen12]

Yes closeted, but have gone out too at events in cover of evenings...My current gg, my ex and my exclusive dressing friends...

[Rachael]

I find the whole concept of ?coming out? is a reflection of others? negative attitudes, whether it is as cd or gay. Why should it be necessary to make a public announcement with all the attention it attracts.
When someone well known does this my reaction is always ?so what!?
I understand that some do this to demonstrate solidarity and support, some to diffuse sensationalist media reporting.
In a truly unbiased world you should just be able to do it without comment.
This isn?t a perfect world though. We still have a way to go.

[Karren H]

Closet sizes, shapes and contents vary, but unless you are full time, we are all in the closet of some sort.

[Jillcder]

I have been out dressed many times but still consider myself in the closet only because I have kept this part of me from my spouse.

[Monique65]

I consider myself very firmly in the closet. My wife knows I wear panties, and has even helped me shop for them, but beyond that, I am the only person who has ever seen me dressed.

[Stephanie47]

IMHO, anytime a cross dresser attempts to hide his true identity from others he is still a "closet dresser." If a guy drives fifty miles away from his residence, rents a motel room, dresses in private and takes an evening stroll at some closed strip mall is he really out of the closet? I think not. To me a guy who tells his neighbors he likes to wear women's clothing in the privacy of his abode is out of the closet even though he does not present in public.

[docrobbysherry]

IMHO, anytime a cross dresser attempts to hide his true identity from others he is still a "closet dresser." If a guy drives fifty miles away from his residence, rents a motel room, dresses in private and takes an evening stroll at some closed strip mall is he really out of the closet? I think not. To me a guy who tells his neighbors he likes to wear women's clothing in the privacy of his abode is out of the closet even though he does not present in public.

Excellent definition, Steph! I strongly agree!

Closet sizes, shapes and contents vary, but unless you are full time, we are all in the closet of some sort.

Now you've done it, Karren!
"To what DEGREE r u a closet dresser?"
Since u brought it up? I'd consider myself about a 60% closet dresser!

[alwayshave]

Sherry, I'm only out to my wife and other crossdressers/trans-people. In that way I believe that I am in the closet.

[1Ladyjade]

I think of closet dressers as the ones that never venture out and only dress inside. Like myself. Plenty of people know I dress. Select few see me dressed. But I just don't have it in me to venture past the front door.

[Jane G]

I have been out many times dressed in the past. But not to the mal or to social gathering. Well once to a family gathering in my teens. So many people have seen me dressed over the years, including cousins sisters ants and uncles. I have walked the moors and woods in summer dresses. All many years ago though. These days I'm a retired home gal. My last trip out dressed was last year wild camping on the moor. I very much consider myself in the closest though. None of my work colleagues ever knew and none of our neighbours has ever known.

[jacques]

Hello,
I think we all define our own closets and limits to our cross dressing.
However if we try to pass in public full time we have probably gone beyond male to female cross dressing and are publicly self-identifying as a woman.
stay healthy!
luv J.

[docrobbysherry]

Jacques, I think we can all agree that TS's r not closet dressers.

That's why I directed this thread toward CD's only!

[Patience]

When I saw the title, I thought something along these lines:

ClosetDresser.jpg

...but reading the post clarified the issue. I think every CDer is a closeted dresser to one degree or another unless they are out 100% of the time to everybody.

As for the other closet dresser, I think it's a bad idea, because dust can collect in the gaps and you have to take the whole thing out to clean it or if something falls behind it.

[docrobbysherry]

After Karren's post, I tend to agree with u, Patience. So, what degree of closet dresser would u say u r? 25%? 50%? 75%?

[Patience]

Well, if you are asking me, I have no idea. Not sure how to tally it because the numbers, as the opportunities, will fluctuate.

Also the number of people who know male me is a crossdresser is unlikely to go up soon, although fem me is getting more and more known in her own terms all the time.

All I can say is I hope I'm inching my way upwards!

[Genifer Teal]

Someone who won't tell anyone or let anyone see them dressed. Once you venture out, How big do you let the closet get? . You can be out but not really out just be in a bigger closet. I see both sides of how to consider this.