Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 234
Results 76 to 92 of 92

Thread: How to stop?

  1. #76
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Southern Illinois
    Posts
    2,571
    My two cents. Yes, over the years, I?ve tried to stop many times, but failed each time. The pink fog can be ruthless. I didn?t need the frustration. Fortunately, I married a supportive, helpful gg. I?ve never looked back. I?m retired and dress, to some degree, every day..panties, bra and stockings for sure. It starts each day with a smile.

  2. #77
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Madison AL
    Posts
    3,554
    Living, more or less as a hermit, with the option to dress en fem anytime I like, I don't because who gets to answer the door in this non-receptive community?
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  3. #78
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,470
    I like the analogy, an acholic must avoid the package store. It makes sense. My opinion is seek treatment from a specialists. From blood work and to gender specialist, your paster.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  4. #79
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,681
    Quote Originally Posted by mbmeen12 View Post
    I like the analogy, an acholic must avoid the package store. It makes sense. My opinion is seek treatment from a specialists. From blood work and to gender specialist, your paster.
    Crossdressing is not a sin as many organized religions will lead you to believe.
    You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.

  5. #80
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Location
    Central California
    Posts
    1,720
    I like this too for me to stop. I am sorry you are fighting an internal war with yourself. I am sure people here suggested counseling to you.

  6. #81
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    3,023
    why stop ? if you feel natural and it completes who you are; you appear very femm - and have no need for breast inhancment ! we are all jealouse !! I know famly life can be a problem and most cd'ers have to navagate through it - having an accepting wife helps...................Debra
    Last edited by Debra Russell; 12-08-2022 at 02:23 PM.

  7. #82
    Just another 'Gurl' Kitty Sue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Sitting on a box.
    Posts
    940
    Hi Betty, in answer to your question.
    I did not plan on stopping for 9 years. The picture in my avatar was from New York in 2009. Actually, I think it maybe more than 9 years. The last time I completely dressed I think was in either 2012 or 2013.
    I moved away to a new city to be closer to a cross dressing support group. The thing was when I arrived I went to those meetings less than before I moved and I dressed less.

    When I started dating my wife I told her about my sexuality but, not being a CDer. Although, when we first started dating I would wear her panties every now and then and she was fine with it. I finally told my wife a couple of years ago that I am a crossdresser. She was supportive and said I could dress. She offered to do my makeup. I said no thanks. I have chosen not to cross dress as we have an 8 y.o daughter who would not understand.
    I think I have worn leggings maybe half a dozen times since I met my wife, but nothing more. That was mainly when she and my daughter were overseas visiting family for a month.

    In the past before I accepted that cross dressing was a part of me the urge to dress was much stronger than it is now. I have found the need to dress lessened when I accepted who I am. I also realize cross dressing is an important part of me, but it does not define me as a person.

    I do believe that eventually I will dress, fully, again the way I used to. Likely when my daughter leaves home. I really think that is why I don't dress currently . I am voluntarily back in the CD closet I guess. The idea of dressing and parents of my daughters friends finding out would not go down well with the neighborhood.

    What I am trying to say is that I believe we can temporarily suspend dressing if given a good enough incentive. However, in my case this is not permanent and I don't want it to be. Cross Dressing is a part of me. When I dress I believe I am more sensitive and open minded. I am more inclined to help around the house and I find it fun and exhilarating. When I dress I feel more relaxed and at ease. In fact knowing I can dress almost anytime I choose, I often feel the need to dress less. Even now I choose not to dress, I know I could with my wife's blessing. Just knowing that gives me comfort while at the same time reducing the need to put on makeup and heels.

    I am also currently working out, trying to develop a more feminine physique. I am cleaning more. Both of this activities make me feel what I consider be feminine as I believe, for me, cross dressing is about more than just the clothes.

    In the early 2000s years ago when I tried to stop dressing, and this seems crazy now, I went to sex addiction meetings thinking they would help me stop dressing. I met some great people who listened. Eventually a couple of old timers pulled me aside and said you know KS we think you are a great person and you are always welcome here. However, do you really think cross dressing is sex addiction? It made me think. I went to more meetings and eventually came to the conclusion that cross dressing was absolutely fine. It took me years to reach that stage. I had a lot of support from people I could trust both in the real world and online. Including this site.
    Last edited by Kitty Sue; 12-08-2022 at 10:48 PM.
    Just another man in a dress

  8. #83
    Junior Member Betty70's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2022
    Posts
    34
    Thank you so much for your candid and detailed description of your experience.
    It will certainly help me in putting together my own thoughts.

    I know rather certainly that the urge to dress up will not get rid of me.
    I am now trying to outwit the woman inside me.
    I force myself to dress up whenever there is an opportunity, even when I totally don't feel like it.
    The first results are: it's starting to make me more tired than attracted to it.
    I'm sitting right now in a dress and makeup, so much so I'd like to go back to the male option, but decided: only before bed.

  9. #84
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Texas Hill Country
    Posts
    115
    Does it go away: NO, been 62 years for me.
    Started for me around 4-5 years old.
    I do not like labels, but do believe in the term Transgender which covers a wide spectrum.

  10. #85
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    2,172
    When you rub the lantern and the genie pops out, you might want to make this one of your wishes. That's all I can think of.

  11. #86
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Madison AL
    Posts
    3,554
    Genifer. Ya happen ta gots a spare lantern. I could use a few things too. Grin.
    I done rubbed all of mine and all I got was dirt. Guess I don't have the right one.
    I even bought one when I was in Istanbul, Turkey at the Grand bazaar and it don't do nothing except to make my fingers greenish black and stinky. I even used up all of my elbow grease.
    The elves around here got to complaing about all the large finger prints.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  12. #87
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    5,080
    Quote Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing View Post
    Don't worry, when you die, you'll stop!
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheryl T View Post
    I understand that death stops it...lol.
    Not sure though as there have been no confirmed reports.
    As has been said before, we all "age out of it" eventually.

    But, I think that depends on your particular view of the hereafter.

    As for me, I believe, "No Hell below us; above us only sky" [John Lennon], so I believe that I will age out of it.

    But, for the record, I do know some who have been cured, but maybe not in a way that would be acceptable to you. They underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) or Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS), same things, different names. Now that they are anatomically and hormonally a girl, it is perfectly permissible to wear girls' clothes.

    As they say, what is the difference between a crossdresser and a transexual? The answer: Two years.

    Well, that's just meant as a joke. In my case, the answer is 60 years and counting ...

    I also know a large number who have left the forum. I believe that many of them "quit".

    For me, I say, "Enjoy it while it lasts." It's much preferable than the alternative [of being dead].

    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Are you discussing your feelings with a therapist? If not, I would strongly advise that you begin with that conversation before any other explorations. Try to identify the root of your feelings. Try to tease out separate what is exciting from what is fulfilling. Discuss the obsessive thoughts. You are likely to discover that there are a variety of needs, desires, beliefs and insecurities interacting.
    I went to a therapist, several, if fact, for several years. It turns out that there's nothing wrong with being a crossdresser unless it causes other problems in your life. If it does cause other problems, deal with them [the other problems it causes].

    One last thing. You know how a lot of people assert that women are smarter than men. Well, the "woman" inside of you is also smarter than the male version of you. Don't even think of trying to out-smart her!
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 12-19-2022 at 11:30 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  13. #88
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    941
    Quote Originally Posted by Betty70 View Post
    Thank you so much for your candid and detailed description of your experience.
    It will certainly help me in putting together my own thoughts.

    I know rather certainly that the urge to dress up will not get rid of me.
    I am now trying to outwit the woman inside me.
    I force myself to dress up whenever there is an opportunity, even when I totally don't feel like it.
    The first results are: it's starting to make me more tired than attracted to it.
    I'm sitting right now in a dress and makeup, so much so I'd like to go back to the male option, but decided: only before bed.
    Betty, I tried a similar approach some years back. I decided to dress for at least 15 minutes every day whether I felt like it or not. I kept at it until I got a recognizable result. Did it stop my cross dressing? No. But what it did do was something very good from my perspective.

    It changed my experience of crossdressing from a compulsion, something out of my control, to a habit, something very much in my control. This took away a lot of guilt and anxiety. A definite net improvement in my life.

    Feel free to PM me if you want to go into this in more depth.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  14. #89
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Going to seed!
    Posts
    22,646
    I do not want to give the impression that therapy is a solution in itself. I would agree that therapy is not really for those who do not feel troubled or experience problems as a result their cross dressing. If a person who cross dresses feels guilty or shameful, therapy may be able to help them deal with those feelings. If a person suffers from some compulsive behaviors and again the compulsions cause them to have problems (interpersonal, economic, whatever) then therapy may be able to help. If a person (really) wants to quit a behavior, then therapy may equip one with techniques that will help with quitting, whatever the behavior may be. There is no guarantee.

  15. #90
    New Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    11
    hard to impossible

  16. #91
    Surrey submissive CD isabelle_tv_uk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2022
    Location
    Surrey
    Posts
    13
    I can't really offer much useful advice as like many others at times I have tried to stop and purged for various reasons but the need to be Isabelle is ever present. Something clicked with me in my early years and its not something that can be undone or really want undone as I am happiest when I am Isabelle. Rather than try to give up I try to be kind to myself, trying not to feel guilty.

  17. #92
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Area Zona
    Posts
    4,355
    Quote Originally Posted by April Rose View Post
    It changed my experience of crossdressing from a compulsion, something out of my control, to a habit, something very much in my control. This took away a lot of guilt and anxiety.
    During my working life it was a compulsion or maybe at times a focal point of reward elevated in desire compared to the regular life's insatiable appetite for one's attention.
    In retired life, the urgency is gone and the desire can get overridden by just another cup of coffee and celebrating having my time on my terms.
    And every time I play there's that "OK, here we go." moment, with a tinge of etched in guilt that just generates a smile.
    "Mama always wanted another girl."

    Gosh, I look at the Carla archives and there's times when I did a photo-shoot or even a dressed up to get video at a 24/7 store before work. Sometimes it was several days in a row.
    Retirement changes everything. I see folks my age working cuz they're bored.
    Hmm? Ponderous.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State