Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 38 of 38

Thread: I think I saw one of our sisters today

  1. #26
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2022
    Posts
    42
    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Many are paranoid.
    I agreed with everything you wrote, until you said the above.

    There is NOTHING paranoid about a woman's behaviour in public, especially since women are more likely to be victims of violent assaults from MEN. Before spouting nonsense, why not ask the women in your life (Mom, wife, sister, daughter) how THEY would feel if some random guy approached them and made a comment about their appearance, clothes, or "sexiness". More importantly, ask them if they have ever been approached by a man, that they felt unsafe. And then tell me that they are being 'paranoid'.

    I don't mean to be dismissive or insulting to the CD community, but for god's sake, y'all don't really get the picture! YOU (general pronoun) just don't realize how dangerous the world can be towards cis or trans women!

    A crossdresser may love the feel and sensations of feminine clothes, they may strive to achieve the perfect make up and then stroll around an empty parking lot, taking selfies. At most, they may worry about being exposed and found out. If they are smart, they would be more worried about being discovered by a group of homophobic men...

    But for women (cis or trans) EVERY encounter with a male has the potential for acceptance or violence. Hell, women and girls have to be cautious about rejecting advances from guys, due to the violence that may result!

    The statement "Many are paranoid", does nothing but show how entrenched YOU are in male entitlement, and how clueless you are to the reality of life.

  2. #27
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    2,108
    Over the summer I stopped visiting this site, partly because I felt my needs had outgrown it and partly because some of the discussions are, quite frankly, asinine. I popped in to see if I was missing anything and some of the responses in this thread are definitely the latter.

    I have had loads of people come up to me to say something wonderful. Men and women. What a depressing little world some must live in to say human beings must never interact with a stranger and pass on a compliment. If you want to be little toads living under rocks then go ahead but I certainly hope you never influence anyone else to be like you. Suspicious minds always make me wonder about the instigator and what they are compensating for.

    If you have something nice to say to someone, say it and make their day!
    Last edited by char GG; 11-23-2022 at 05:47 AM. Reason: See the rules/no leaving remarks

  3. #28
    Member Deborah G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Just East of Houston, TX
    Posts
    169
    I make sure to compliment a sister on her appearance, but knowing some wish to remain below the radar, I am very discrete. I don't want to make someone feel threatened or uncomfortable; I try to place myself in there shoes, literally. We are all in this together, after all.

  4. #29
    Member KristyPa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Pittsburgh,Pa
    Posts
    104
    Linda,
    Good gosh what you posted is just fine. I feel the same when seeing a person like myself in public, please anyone have it to also pick on me for what i said, "a person like myself".

    A girl like me out in public is NOT that common, if I see someone like me I do try to figure out if it is a girl like me or not, whats the harm. I wouldn't ask the person but I would check her out like i do most women.

    When I first started going out in pubic as Kristy around 1995 I honesty thought I was the only person like myself. I ran into a couple other girls like myself one night and was surprised there was other girls like me I made good friends with the one.

  5. #30
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2022
    Posts
    42
    I see several people who state that if they saw a 'sister', that they would comment or compliment them 'discretely', and I am genuinely curious how one would go about that, without letting the 'sister' know that she has been outed or doesn't quite cut the standard of "passing".

    If one is in 'male mode', in a vanilla setting, how would you approach a woman, cis-, CD, or trans-, and pass commentary on her appearance without coming off creepy? I mean do you (general pronoun, no one specific) walk up to random women and comment on how good or bad they look? Comment on their outfit, shoes, etc.?

    For myself, I'm out 24/7 as a transwoman and I take compliments as they come, I KNOW I will never 'pass' as a cis-woman, but many others might be somewhat in the closet and sensitive to comments by strangers.

    Compliments can be real ego boosters, and perhaps YOU (general pronoun, no one specific) feel a need to establish a tenuous bond with another who shares your proclivities, but for the love of god, try to respect another's boundaries! MAYBE, that 'sister' you think you've spotted is a ciswoman and feels very uncomfortable/threatened by your approach. Or maybe it's a CD/transwoman who just soiled herself because she was 'clocked' by a random stranger!

    YOU know that your intentions are friendly and meant to be supportive, but the target of your 'support' doesn't know that, or you, from Adam!

    Let's take CD-ing/Transfolk out of the equation for a second. If you saw a woman, smartly dressed, coifed, and made up in a store, would you approach her and make comments about her shape, her clothes, her make up? If yes, why? If no, why not?

  6. #31
    Senior Member Fiona_44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Posts
    1,133
    I think it's time to put this thread out of it's misery. No need to keep rehashing the same points over and over.
    "Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu

  7. #32
    Member Linda Stockings's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    448
    Thank you, Fiona. I've been wanting to say exactly that. It's gone on way too long, been misunderstood way too much, used as an excuse to bash way too much, and it's been INTENTIONALLY, misunderstood way too much.

    Thanks for understanding,

    Linda

  8. #33
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    1,454
    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzmin View Post
    A funny story which I think is relative to this conversation.
    Full disclosure: I am living/working full time as a transwoman. At my job there Is a very tall (we are approximately the same height), young cis woman who works in my department. We'll call her "Claire", obviously NOT her real name.
    Whoa, whoa whoa, hold on there. "We'll call her Claire". Then "obviously NOT her real name". Mmmh, double denying equates confirmation. Now we all know her name definitely is Claire. Which, supposing you are living in the United States of America, leaves only 121,538 Claire possibilities. With 5.3% of the population working in retail, that leaves us with just 6,441 candidates. Shaving off 1,6% for trans or non-binary, we end up with just 6,338 individuals. You say she is tall, which implies she is over the median size of the genetic female population, ergo down to 3,169 people. She has a transwoman colleague (you), a rough 0,004% probability. Here we are. 13 individuals. Nothing a sunny afternoon and a few phone calls and internet searches wouldn't sort out. I tell you, privacy is a thing of the past!
    "So, I'm a crossdresser. Mmh. What's that thing, again?"

    Considering telling your SO? Read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner

  9. #34
    Just another 'Gurl'
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Bisexual and sitting on a box.
    Posts
    1,015
    If I see a "sister" I treat them like anybody else. I don't compliment them on their appearance anymore than I would a GG I do not know. I usually just say hi and smile. Of course part of me wants to yell out at "Hey Girl Friend I am just like you too!" I do wish we had a secret hand shake or something though that only we all knew.
    Just another man in a dress

  10. #35
    Member Linda Stockings's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    448
    Maybe we could invent such a handshake, but I can't quite figure out how to create a handshake situation easily. Maybe certain color coordinated things in our outfits or jewelry.

  11. #36
    maxi midi closets's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    90
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitty Sue View Post
    If I see a "sister" I treat them like anybody else. I don't compliment them on their appearance anymore than I would a GG
    this is the best practice

  12. #37
    Reality Check
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    8,842
    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzmin View Post
    I agreed with everything you wrote, until you said the above.

    There is NOTHING paranoid about a woman's behaviour in public, especially since women are more likely to be victims of violent assaults from MEN. Before spouting nonsense, why not ask the women in your life (Mom, wife, sister, daughter) how THEY would feel if some random guy approached them and made a comment about their appearance, clothes, or "sexiness". More importantly, ask them if they have ever been approached by a man, that they felt unsafe. And then tell me that they are being 'paranoid'.

    I don't mean to be dismissive or insulting to the CD community, but for god's sake, y'all don't really get the picture! YOU (general pronoun) just don't realize how dangerous the world can be towards cis or trans women!

    A crossdresser may love the feel and sensations of feminine clothes, they may strive to achieve the perfect make up and then stroll around an empty parking lot, taking selfies. At most, they may worry about being exposed and found out. If they are smart, they would be more worried about being discovered by a group of homophobic men...

    But for women (cis or trans) EVERY encounter with a male has the potential for acceptance or violence. Hell, women and girls have to be cautious about rejecting advances from guys, due to the violence that may result!

    The statement "Many are paranoid", does nothing but show how entrenched YOU are in male entitlement, and how clueless you are to the reality of life.
    Well, personal insult aside, you just posted the very reason many women are "paranoid" if a strange man approaches them and tries to start a conversation. Look up the definition of "paranoid".

    Apparently, you have an axe to grind and have chosen to grind it at my expense. You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but that doesn't include insulting me. Try to make your opinion stand on its own without the insults.
    Krisi

  13. #38
    Just another 'Gurl'
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Bisexual and sitting on a box.
    Posts
    1,015
    Quote Originally Posted by Linda Stockings View Post
    Maybe we could invent such a handshake, but I can't quite figure out how to create a handshake situation easily. Maybe certain color coordinated things in our outfits or jewelry.
    I know. Could you imagine all the commotion that would cause as we all put argued over what the handshake should be!
    Just another man in a dress

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State