I'm still on the my snails-pace return to crossdressing. Progress ? almost none. However, yesterday I ran errands all day. This was not some crossdressed outing, just running errands. I did not consider myself crossdressed at all, but, thinking about what I was wearing, my chosen comfy casual clothes, I was not wearing one stitch of male clothes. An oversize, thick, knitted white turtleneck sweater (with nothing under it), black joggers, black mules (flat), panties. I was also carrying a large women's tote. The sweater comes down to nearly mid-thigh. There was a time when I would have worn it for a dress. To me, I was not crossdressed, but, if I'm not crossdressed, would I wear this to work? No. Would I care if I ran into somebody I know? Kind of depends on who it would be, but as a general rule, no. What would have pushed it over the line? Wig, makeup and boobs. How about just a wig? Yes, but when I had long hair I would have worn this and still not considered it crossdressing. Makeup? Depends. Light, neutral makeup, no. Boobs, of course. What else could I have added and it still not reach the crossdressing line of demarcation? Nail polish, probably. Jewelry, depends.

I've worn a lot of women's clothes as part of my everyday wardrobe since I was in the 9th grade. I didn't consider it crossdressing. When I had long hair, blending like that was easier. For years I wore jeans to work every day, and I didn't own a pair of men's jeans. I don't think anybody knew. I had a pair of women's cowboy boots with a rather high undercut heel that I wore frequently. I don't think anyone realized. Some of my shirts buttoned on the "wrong" side and had darts. I don't think anybody noticed (except my father). I could go on. I've also worn concealer and moisturizer every day since high school and I'm sure nobody knew. Until the last few years I always wore my nails long, also dating back to high school. EVERYBODY noticed that.

I have no idea whether or not this looks like crossdressing to the people I encounter. I don't think it does. As I went about my errands yesterday, though, it was noticeable that I was dressed like the rest of the women out doing errands, at least the better dressed ones.

I can't define the line of demarcation, but I guess, to me, if I'm making no attempt to look like a woman, I'm not crossdressing. As I wrote that I thought, "What if I'd been wearing heels?" I guess that would have made it crossdressing.

I guess I've been given (and taken) so much latitude in what I wore, how I wore my hair, etc. that I never learned where that line was. I can look back on thing I wore openly and without a second thought given when I was younger and realize that I looked ridiculous, regardless of what you call it. Fact is I might have looked ridiculous yesterday. I just don't have a good sense about that.

So, what's the point? I think the point is there may not be any more to the "return" for me. I can't return to being 30. Maybe this is what being a 60-something year old crossdresser is for me. Going all out for me is now a pretty low bar, and I'm OK with that. Maybe not forever, but for now I am. I'm enjoying getting my brows done again, and I still love, LOVE getting my nails done and I am going to be more open about wearing polish in male mode. I haven't worked up the nerve to wear it around some friends and family, but I'm determined to do that before the end of the year and to keep doing it. I'm not going to wear it to work, but I'm going to quite taking of my polish because certain people are coming over or we're going over there.

I know a lot of you are all or nothing, but surely I'm not the only one who's casual side leans feminine. Where is the line of demarcation for you?