As part of my slow return, this...
GF and I like to get our nails done together. We sometimes go separately, but when we can, we go together. I keep my toes polished, but I typically wear fingernail polish until we've got some family thing to do or I have to go to work, whichever comes first. Until then I wear polish in public wherever we go. She's told me for a long time that I didn't have to take my polish off to be around her family, that it was no big deal, but that was my choice. BTW, they all know I wear nail polish, they've just never seen it. I decided some time ago that I was going to put on my big girl panties and brave it. I've been off all week, and we got our nails done Monday morning. Tuesday afternoon we had to go by her parent's house. No comment from her dad, but her mom was effusively complimentary, which is her nature. We just got back from having lunch with them. Compliments again. The compliments are nice, but I must say I look forward to the new wearing off and getting no comment at all. We'll be there with the rest of the family come Christmas. I'll take this polish off for work in the meantime, but I'll get my nails done again just for that, which is probably when my step mother will also see them.
I've done my share of this kind of reveal in my past. Usually (maybe always) there was no point to it. Kind of a temporary insanity thing that I usually regretted doing. This time I have a reason. Whether or not it's a good reason is debatable. The #1 reason is I like it, and GF likes it. #2, it's not cheap to get my nails done, and if I'm going to do it, it seems kind of crazy to take it off after only a day or two. #3, it's about time. #4, this is nothing like coming out. Not even close. It's just nail polish, and I figure I'm in good enough standing that nothing bad is going to happen because of it.
It's kind of silly that after so many years of doing this, that something as trivial as this feels so important, but it does. I figure I'm getting just a tiny taste of what it must feel like to completely come out, and that thought does make it tempting. The coolest part of it for me is not in the initial reveal, but the fact that the reveal only has to happen once. After that initial reveal, from then on it's less and less of a thing, until it's just normal and expected. Now, I'll leave room for the possibility that I'll wake up tomorrow and look at this differently. It's happened before. But, for right now I'm looking forward to Christmas when I'll get the reveal over with with the rest of her family. I'm pretty sure I'll get the reveal over with with my step mother, too, but I do feel a little more apprehensive about that one. She, too, knows about me (from my ex), but hasn't seen much. She certainly knew me when my hair was long, and I once wore my big hoops over there (one of the reveals I later regretted). I don't worry about rejection from her, it's just the whole "family" thing that makes me a little queasy. I'm not comfortable with all the tentacles of that one. BUT, back when she and my dad first got married 30+ years ago, she had him looking like something from Studio 54. All kinds of necklaces, bracelets, rings and long, clear-polished nails and LONG GOLD PINKY NAILS that freaked ME out! She should probably be the easiest reveal, but she's not. That's just the way it is.
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
