Who would be shocked

[AmyJordan]

Hi everyone just wondering who would be shocked to learn of your lifestyle/hobby or on the other hand who does know and you wish they didn't. I know some of you are completely open but apart from my wife obviously, one of her close friends,a suspecting sister of hers and the flower lady from the embarrassing set up I wrote about before I think everyone else would be shocked especially exs who I'm sure still remember me as a macho jerk and perhaps would delight in me getting my comeuppance. We have moved away so don't have the worry of old friends calling around unannounced but I do wonder what their reaction would be to my extreme transformation

[SaraLin]

That's an interesting question.
Pretty much everyone on my side of the family knows, even if they haven't seen it - so nobody would be shocked there.

Pretty much nobody on my wife's side of the family knows (her decision). While they'd probably be surprised to find out, I don't think it'd shock them too much. I'm not the "manly man" type.

[kimdl93]

Its a good question. I think in my case, I suspect people who know me have at least heard a rumor. Those closest to me avoid the subject. Those more distant simply do not care one way or the other.

[CharlotteCD]

My family: No. My parents knew I used to take my sister's clothes, we just never discussed the real reason why. I find it hard to believe my sister didn't also know somebody had been going through her things.

My friends: Yeah, the males would totally WTF about it, and the females would be shocked but then put things together about conversations we had previously.

Colleagues: 100%.

I lift weights, I box, I play war video games, love cars - the usual "mens" things. I'm apparently somebody who comes across as very "what you see is what you get" to the extent that I'm boring.

I'm not boring - I just don't let people see the real me.

[Crissy 107]

Only my wife knows so everyone else would be totally shocked.

[NancyJ]

Same as Crissy. As I am 100% in the closet and maintain a masculine image and am a big guy (over 6 feet), everyone would be shocked. Nancy

[Jillcder]

I have not told any friends or family only strangers that I visit with when out dressed know my secret. My buddies would not understand I sometimes think how shocked they would be if I showed up dressed at one of our beer drinking bs sessions. The only person that I would like to come out to about my dressing is my lovely wife she is a very smart lady and I think she knows I enjoy womens clothing but would be shocked to see me all dolled up. Very exciting question.

[Trish]

Only my wife knows so everyone else would be totally shocked.

Same here!

[GretchenM]

By now I think most people have figured out something is "Different" about me. Only a few show dislike of what they suspect. Some seem to be a bit curious and are searching for some kind of reason why my personality has changed so much in the last few years - from gruff masculine to softer and kinder and more tender. If anyone asks they will get an honest answer but for the most part I haven't announced or said anything for years to much of anyone.

My view is that when one goes about announcing it they are also telling people that "I consider myself different and I want you to know about it." In the last few years and with the help of understanding this better in terms of the Gender Mosaic theory I consider myself within the "normal" range. In that theory almost everyone shows at least some opposite gender behaviors; some just show a lot. So if "Normal" becomes a blend of intermediate, male-like, and female-like gender traits and characteristics then the only distinction left is "How much of each is present in any particular person?" I have about an equal amount of male-like and female-like traits and characteristics, but I am missing most of the strong expressions of those. So, if using that concept of gender variations, I feel within the normal range even though skewed toward the female side then it makes sense to me to not make a big deal about it and announce it. When I point out the distinction then it can become an issue for discussion and potential discrimination.

That said, if the female-like traits and characteristics were of the much stronger type then I would need to express more and explanations and the like would be needed. That is, if I identified as far more female-like than male-like the situation changes. But I don't except for certain times when I do glide deep into the female-like world. So because I am 50-50 does that make me cisgender? Not hardly. I am always including something in my look that indicates the presence of a female-like leaning and sometimes even more strongly than the usual. I do that because it expresses who I am. But not to avoid the male/female distinction present in the gender binary concept. If that is where you are then fine and live it to the degree that you wish. But I am not normally that way; however I still can be. I still love the feelings of the change, but the change in my inner feelings must shift first, otherwise the expression (dressing and what not) is driving the identity, in my view. That is not normal for me. The identity drives the expression of that identity. So, at the foundation is my sense of self in terms of gender role which is borne in behavior and not appearance. Appearance follows behavioral patterns.

[alwayshave]

My mother knows, though she has never seen me dressed as an adult. My wife knows and is supporting. Beyond that, I'm sure most would be shocked.

[CarlaWestin]

I'm old and retired now so I don't give a rat's ass who knows or not.

I've never told any siblings or parents although, ex's cabal all knew as she needed to implant evil to embellish her agenda of screwing me for as much lifetime income as she could get from the divorce.

Which failed, fortunately, miserably.

Daughter knows and just thinks it's wonderful. Wife knows and DADT just keeps it as an accessory to our very loving relationship. I told a few girlfriends in the resort industry. Folks in my team there noticed clear nail polish and when one asked I just mentioned it was to keep my nails from cracking.

I had to deal with a brutal HR department that would fire me in a second to make room to juice in a family member so, I was always ready with pictures of Carla to pull the 'I am transgender. Why are you such a hater? I'll write out a deposition and have legal council put your name on top of every page of my case which will then be public record for the rest of your career. Kinda screws up a background check, this hateful disrespect for diversity you have, doesn't it?'

Probably neighbors back in vegas have seen me but never associated as I've taken walks around the community in many different looks. I've always thought any cyber lurkers that know me would connect the dots cuz I'm all over the internet.
Oh, and I told my BFF of over 60 years and he thinks it's cool.
As far as I know, only strangers have seen real time Carla.

[Rhonda Jean]

Several years ago a lot of things happened in pretty quick succession. Divorced, changed jobs, cut my hair, moved. People who met me after that would be shocked. Most of the people who knew me before were either told by my wife or suspected. Big difference between knowing/being told and actually seeing. Essentially none of those people had actually seen me fully dressed.

[kerrytg]

I have several GG friends who I have told, I kinda knew that they would be okay with it and they all are. They are all very supportive and do call me Kerry. I do know there are others who I would not share with, clearly they wouldnt understand and clearly think Im gay. All of my GG friends see me as a submissive female, which i am fine with.

[Heather76]

Four people know I CD. They are my wife, a step nephew, a member of this forum I've met, and a lady (and confidant) who works where I volunteer. I believe everyone else that knows me would be shocked, and I mean shocked and surprised.

[sara66]

Just about everyone would be shocked if I told them. If my mother was alive she would probably not. I am pretty sure she knew.
About 7 or 8 people know that I dress. The closest to a negative response was a friends husband, he said "that's weird". Most reactions are bit of a shock to them.
I am fine with most friends and family knowing, I would not like any of my customers to know.
Sara

[Angela Marie]

My wife knows and is ok with it. She just does not participate which is fine. My daughter saw a picture of me on my phone with a wig on and told my ex wife. That pretty much passed and they both think it was a once and done thing. Most of my friends and other family would be shocked to say the least. We just moved to a new area far away; and at 68 i'm less and less concerned with what people think.

[Stephanie47]

I don't know how my son and daughter and granddaughter (22) would take it, if they do not know it already from snooping around in their youth. At age 75, I do ponder what would happen if I were to pass away after my wife, and, the kids were to find those size 13 heels and wigs. Since my wife and I wear the same size I could preen my wardrobe down to something reasonable for a widower to still have hanging in the back of the closet, but those size 13's?????

[Natalie5004]

Great question.

Let's see: Wife and her Son know, (she told him). I showed a photo of me to a GG drinking friend. She told me I was lovely. That was the only time we spoke of it.
I have a large family living far away, so they don't know. But I did share my hobby with my favorite sister, she was fine with it but about a year later threatened me to release that info because I did not do what she wanted. I keep my distance from her now. Another sister said I was a cross dresser when my wife showed her photos of my red toes. I think nobody really cares.

Plus at my age and being semi retired I am in the camp that I really do not give a crap. I sit outside often and a few neighbors asked my wife who was that woman on the patio. I go shopping every once in a while.
So, everyone please remember the biggest obstacle we have is between our ears.

Natalie

[Elaina]

I think everyone I know would be surprised. My spouse is aware that I crossdressed when I was a child, but is unaware that it is part of my life that doesn't go away. My family members are highly religious and would be appalled. I think the only accepting person would be my step-daughter. I've never considered telling her, though, since that girl couldn't keep a secret if it saved her life! 😊

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I've wondered the same thing, but even more so I've wondered if any of my super-straight-mostly-conservative friends or relatives are wondering what I would think if they announced that THEY cd.

I do have some tells out there; lack/disappearance of body hair, valentine and other pretty socks, racerback tank tops, foot jewelry, etc, but so far no one's openly connected the dots. Not sure what I would do if someone just came out and asked.

[NancySue]

Outside of my supportive wife, no one knows. Living in a smaller community has made us even more careful, thus limiting, if any, going out. Recently, after a hunting trip, a couple complained about cold legs. One of the guys said not a problem, he wore pantyhose and recommended we all do. I kinda smiled at myself and thought, ?guess what?? I said nothing. Neither did the others.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

LOL to NancySue! My mother-in-law once mentioned on a cold day about hunters wearing pantyhose to stay warm. My FIL, who had been a hunter, just grumbled something suggesting that no real man would ever wear hose even if the alternative was a cold miserable death. I considered mentioning that I was wearing hose under my pants at that moment, but decided against it.

[sometimes_miss]

Everyone would be shocked. I've been quite careful to stay deep in the closet, because I don't want to deal with any problems that I know can occur when the loonies who hate any LGBTQ people get wise to someone living anywheres near them who don't fit into their narrow minded definition of what they consider acceptable. The few surviving people that know about me, are my sister, the therapists who I've spoken to, and one gay woman that I revealed myself to 20 years ago, and I lost touch with her a long time ago, so much that I don't even know where she is anymore.

[fireandlace]

I retired from a male dominated profession and while I don’t behave like, or come off as, an alpha male most people would be shocked. That being said, I have come out to some female friends and ex-girlfriends who were initially surprised. Almost all of them though told me that as they thought about it they really weren’t surprised. I currently work as the only man in an office with five women. I am constantly told that I fit in great and that they see me as one of the girls. Last week we had a baby shower for one of our coworkers and no one was uncomfortable with me being there.

I am not out to my wife for many reasons but I don’t think she would be surprised if I came out to her. I handle so much of the traditional women’s responsibilities that she has jokingly said I make a great wife.

[Joanne108]

I don?t know. My wife for sure won?t be shocked. My children maybe my wife told them I don?t know. Then there might be some siblings remember me practicing for Halloween by dressing as a woman. Other than those I do not really care.