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Thread: Facial hair and a beyond supportive wife / son

  1. #1
    New Member Mandyinfemme's Avatar
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    Facial hair and a beyond supportive wife / son

    So both my wife and 10 year old son couldn’t care less about my dressing. But both hate it, and I mean hate it when I shave my goatee. If we are on vacation or something. It’s fine. But I’ve had the facial hair for 22 years. I’m not going to change anything as it’s a small sacrifice for the things they put up with. But just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat?

  2. #2
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    Im not really in the same boat but i had a full on beard that i grew during covid, i then got into CD'ing and starting shaving/waxing from my neck down until just a few weeks ago when i shaved the beard off. I miss it a lot but i also like experimenting with makeup when i get the chance so i dont think the beard will make a comeback any time soon.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Hello Mandy,

    You will find that you certainly are not alone,
    There are others here that have facial hair, and that is perfectly fine.
    The most important thing is that you and your family are comfortable and happy.
    If that includes the facial hair, then good for you.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  4. #4
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    My wife knew I didn't have a beard or mustache before we met. It was practically a requirement She does not like facial hair on her men. So, I stay clean shaven.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    My ex wife liked my chest hair and asked me not to shave it, so I kept it for her. I shaved it the day we broke up 😄

  6. #6
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    I had some sort of facial hair - mustache, goatee or beard since 1975. Neither my wife nor my kids had ever seen me without it. When I began to actively crossdress in 2021, my goatee was the first thing to go. My wife knew something was up, and in a short time I came out to her. She likes the clean shaven me - I do look quite a bit younger in male mode too - and accepts my female alter ego completely. An excellent move on all fronts for me.
    www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/

  7. #7
    New Member daffygirl's Avatar
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    Yes! Having a goatee is one of the most stressful parts for me. My wife and I agree that I look much better with it than clean-shaven, so she really doesn't like it. And for me I like psychologically to get back to "normal" at the end of an evening dressing up. So it means there are no "stolen moments" or anything--- I've gotta fully commit every time for several weeks until it grows back. And in the meantime I have to find something to say to everyone at work and in my family why I shaved for, like, two days and then started to let it grow back.

    At least Zoom filters are getting pretty good at putting a goatee back on, but it doesn't help in real life.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    I am right with you. I wore a beard nonstop for over 40 years. Last January, I took it off to see how I looked, and despised it so much that I hardly showed my face in public unless I wore a covid mask. Before that, I used the mask to cover it and did develop my look for a couple years, even venturing out. I was impressed with what I could do. You can check out my photo posts for up to October and see what I did.

    I did study pictures I took from my January experience and steadied myself for another try if the opportunity presented itself. A big one did, and I took it off again, learned a lot of makeup skills, and have been rolling for almost two months now. Now, I will be growing it back this spring, but intend to keep it off until then.

    My family prefers my look bearded, especially my wife. I just say I want to see how this goes because it isn't good to be so ashamed of my clean-shaven appearance -- after all, it's how I look. She isn't pleased but seems to understand since it is temporary. The trick will be taking it off again next fall.

    In the meanwhile, I have really gotten to develop and explore my Geena presentation and am becoming very pleased with some of the results. I don't really care for how I look in male mode, but it's worth it to be able to get pretty once in a while.

    To really twist things: I am so closeted -- nobody (family, friends, etc) knows about Geena.
    www.flickr.com/people/196660660@N08/

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Debs's Avatar
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    I find it really curious that wifes, family, people at work decide whether you have facial hair ?, are you so submissive ?, do you tell your wife not to shave her legs and if she doesnt there will be trouble, I doubt it. Its my body I decide if I have a goatie or not (not that Id have one, not very feminine are they)

  10. #10
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    I have facial and body hair, and my girlfriend likes it all as much as I do. We have never discussed shaving my face or body. (Recently, I only casually mentioned possibly shaving my gray pubes and her response was "that would be weird.") Since I only dress at home and am not interested in feminine realness, I fully appreciate the bearded lady in the mirror.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Each to their own . I grow a bit of stubble occasionally due to shaving rash but thats as far as I go . I was clean shaven when I met my wife. I have stayed that way since. I grew a moustache a few times when younger. It looked ridiculous. I shaved it off when somebody described it as an Arctic Caterpillar.Agree with Debs its my decision not my wife or families.

  12. #12
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    I also had a goatee for many years I remember about 8 years back while dressing I looked in the mirror and decided that if someday I was going out in public dressed the facial hair had to go since then my face has been clean shaven. I think my wife was a little shocked and preferred the facial hair but got over it quickly.

  13. #13
    Reality Check
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    I had facial hair for a few years when I was in my early twenties. I shaved it off many, many years ago and have been clean shaven now for fifty years or more.

    No matter what else you do, it's impossible to pass with a beard or mustache.
    Krisi

  14. #14
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I have the opposite problem, my wife is on board with me starting electrolysis.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  15. #15
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
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    I've had a beard/moustache for 50 years now and the wife likes the way I look - she says my face is too thin and the beard helps make it look wider. I do keep it trimmed to about 1/4" for her but she doesn't want me to shave it off. I do shave my chest, underarms, and legs, though, and she doesn't mind me doing that.
    Ambigendrous
    Wealth should not be measured by how much you have, but by how little you need - anon

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    I never had that problem. I always kept clean shaven (except for an extended backpacking trip a while back). I have never like seeing myself dressed as a guy. The addition of facial hair just adds insult to injury.

  17. #17
    Junior Member fireandlace's Avatar
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    Except for about a month when I was about 22 I have had at least a mustache since I was 20. Because of my job I wasn’t allowed to have any more facial hair than that. When I retired I grew out a goatee for about five years. It suddenly became a large grey blob on my chin so I shaved it off. When my I mention removing the mustache my wife and daughter protest it. I have told them as soon as it turns mostly grey it is coming off.

    The only positive about it is that it prevents me from using makeup when I dress which keeps me from getting caught because I didn’t do a good enough job removing it.

  18. #18
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Mandy, since I am not a MIAD but a full-niner, I shave my beard when I dress. After that I have to grow it back if I want to get in bed with my wife, since without it wifey consider that I resemble my father too much which is a turn off (lucky me, or I would have a stepmother not a wife). The procedure roughly takes 2 weeks or so.
    Last edited by DianeT; 12-20-2022 at 06:31 PM.

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