I have been a crossdresser almost all my life. I started well before puberty ever hit. I could never figure out why I wanted to do this. I rationalized all kinds of excuses to myself. After I became an adult, I thought if I found the right woman to be my wife, I would be able to stop and throw everything away. Obviously, I did not stop even though I did throw stuff away. I thought that after we had our children, I would not feel the need or desire to crossdress anymore, but I was wrong again.
I was caught by my wife several times wearing various female apparel. I should have come clean the first time, or at least one of them early on. I felt embarrassed that I was doing it, especially behind her back. I tried each time to stop doing it but started doing it again. I hate that I lied to my loving wife so many times. I hate myself for doing that to her. It was very wrong of me to do this.
We had The Talk very recently. She is trying her hardest to understand crossdressing and why I feel the need to do it. She has accepted that it is not going away. She does not want to see me dressed up or pictures of me dressed up. She does not want to be with me while I am dressed. I fully understand that and respect it. If we progress to the point where she does that would be good. If she does not that is still good. I am willing to work within boundaries. I am very grateful to have the level of acceptance that I do. With time and further communication, who knows what can happen in the future. If I had opened up to it sooner, it might have already happened.
Since our talk and subsequent conversations my wife has already bought me a few feminine things. She did this on her own without me knowing or even asking. She gave me an Origami Jewelry pendant charm that is shaped like a Mickey head. She added a pretty and feminine necklace chain for me to be able to wear it when I get dressed up as Deborah. I was totally shocked to receive this wonderful gift. She added three charms to go inside it. Mickey Mouse to represent me, Minnie Mouse to represent her, and Mickey hands creating a heart shape to show our love of each other. I was further surprised by this.
I love that my wonderful loving wife is trying so hard to embrace this part of me. I love her more that I can ever describe and not just because of all of what she has done related to my crossdressing. I just wish I had brought all of this to the surface myself many years ago. For years I thought I cannot explain this to myself so how can I ever explain it to the love of my life. My advice for someone else is that I did it the wrong way. The right way is to reveal this early on. Be completely truthful. Answer any questions the best that you can. If you do not know the answer, then just say so but try to find an answer for both of you.
I have been on this forum for many years. I started out like I am sure many others did with just looking in from the outside. I eventually became a member. I have enjoyed reading the stories of so many others. I think they gave me the inspiration to be honest and up front about this activity of mine with my awesome wife. I should have done it much sooner.
Note: I changed the picture to a clearer picture. My wife saw the picture and thought it could be clearer. She was right and took a picture that was much clearer with her camera.
Deborah 
, This is a Great Frum, When you are here , You are Home !!
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