Thought the title of this thread was "...attitude toward clothing" not 'attitude towards lingerie." My wife's attitude toward clothing is pretty much the same as my attitude toward men's clothing...if it's comfortable and it works and it fits the social situation; then you wear it.
Yes, I started this as clothing, but I think many people saw the word lingerie and couldn't get their minds past it
When your partner's attitude towards lingerie is somewhat disappointing, there is no need to talk about their attitude towards the outer wear.Originally Posted by CharlotteCD
Yes, I started this as clothing, but I think many people saw the word lingerie and couldn't get their minds past it
You're going to need to explain that to me. What bearing does a relationship with lingerie have with a relationship with outerwear?
No, you were slightly miffed that she didn't like the lingerie you like. You did mention clothing you shared an interest in.
Except for holiday mug shots of people dressed the same, most do not like to wear the same, or too similar, outfits. What's wrong with just enjoying people wearing what they want to without pushing them to wear something they don't want to? As others said, there is no reason to explain why. There could be hundreds of reasons why, and the reason why can change from day to day.
Clothing gets mixed up with sex, sexuality, so we tend to think within our own mental box. I would say that most people wear what makes them feel comfortable, and good about themselves. It is just too bad that some of the clothes a CD'er likes just happens to fit into a category that is in the sexual category, and some that are seen as being for only one of the sexes. Social taboos, or cultural bias hurts everybody who wishes to use clothing to express themselves. This can also be cultural suppression too.
Last edited by Gillian Gigs; 12-30-2022 at 06:28 PM. Reason: grammer
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
I expect it's a layered relationship.
When haters hate, I celebrate!
My wife and I are a pair of opposites. For her, the more baggy the Mom jeans and the more loose the tunic, the better. She has not worn a skirt or hosiery in more than 35 years. One of my employees commented that he has never seen me without dress slacks and a necktie. That carries over to my femme dressing. I tend to dress up more than GGs do in any given situation. In my house, I now own all the hosiery and all the dresses and gowns that are less than 35 years old.
Well Charlotte I totally get your point. I remember reading an article written by Data VonTease. When it was "training bra" time her mother took her to the lingerie shop. But soon after the fight began because Dita didn't want the plain cotton ugly bras, she pointed to the ones across the aisle with the lace trim and the ruffled nylon panties and she also mentioned the garter belts and that she wanted to try nylon stockings! Her mother insisted she was too young and bought the plain bra and told her she would be in cotton ankle socks for a few more years. Dita was "pissed" to say the least. When it became her time she went on a lingerie overdose she still follows to this day!
My former GF was just as good looking but went the way of Dita's mother. My GF was gorgeous, top cheerleader, bell of the ball. She could have dressed to the nines at all times but sadly went the sweat socks and cotton panties route with blue jeans and plain shirts. What a waste! And then there's me, the male version of Dita VonTease who isn't allowed to wear anything feminine or ladylike--ever! In my thoughts, what is wrong with the real vintage women's clothes or even todays feminine clothes? Sad that more and more women are going the same route as my former GF. No hair sets, no makeup, no heels or nylons, only the standard cotton panties and stretch-sweat pants and sweaters. Just terrible!! A lot of wires in the universe have seemed to cross the wrong way here.
I took the proverbial leap of faith and told my wife about my dressing, especially lingerie, before the I do?s. Thankfully, after long talks, reading, she had no problem with my dressing. She?s very fashion conscious and has been a great help, but, to her, whether on her or on me, they?re just clothes. We?re now empty nesters. I continue to underdress/dress daily. She?s pretty much ditched heels, hose, hates underwire, etc. It?s all about comfort. She has her definition of comfort and I have mine.
See Line #2 in my Snigature , About Lingeree
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
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My wife doesn?t wear lovely lingerie at all nowadays and certainly isn?t a fan of any hosiery or skirts for that matter. I on the other hand love all of the above. My clothes choice generally is different to hers though.
hello Charlotte,
My way of looking at it is that we both crossdress - my wife likes to wear trousers and thick socks, and I like to wear skirts and fishnets!
luv J
We all have different tastes. For example as a CDer I don't understand the obsession of other CDers for panties and bras. I like them, but not to the point of underdressing, sleeping in them, or buying a collection. I don't like lacy, and downright hate frilly stuff. On the other hand I am a total fan of pantyhose.
My wife buys lingerie, she hates frilly stuff as much as I do, but likes a bit of lace while I'm not a fan of it, so she's definitely also buying for her, not just for pleasing me, which I think is a good balance.
"So, I'm a crossdresser. Mmh. What's that thing, again?"
Considering telling your SO? Read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner
Here's the difference from a non-crossdresser: i love three piece suits. But I only love them on a male body. Not on me, or a hanger. That's what it means to love the clothes. Of course I don't understand why don't all men out there wear them all the time as it elevates the male body a hundred fold. But I also have the maturity to understand that it's certainly not as physically comfortable as sweatpants and tshirts, or jeans and tshirt. So I am daily disappointed by looking around me in the real world.
I would never in a million years be disappointed in my partner for not wearing something just for my visual pleasure because I am not a rubbish partner to him. It keeps it a treat when he does though, and that's what keeps it interesting!
Men do not dress like real men anymore.
I looked for years for a proper suit but concluded I'm just too small for men's clothes.
But I can find anything I want in women's clothes being a size 2 tops and bottoms.
When I was first married my wife bought some Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie but I suspect the hope and reality of how she looked didn't match up closely enough.
It may not have helped that my figure is spot on for wearing lingerie.
Marion
About Lingerie .. lingerie has been my work clothing for work 40 years so its not my favorite to wear in my personal life .. however a big thing with ladies who know about you or know enough ( I am not sure exactly how much your wife knows Charlotte , I know she knows some but I dont know how much so some of this may/may not apply ) is that we know most of you are not looking at us no matter how you protest to the contrary . You are looking at the clothes and thinking about what YOU would look like in them or how YOU wish you had it on instead .. I see that here everyday .. and that , for your SO, is a major turn off. We want you to see us .. adore us .. not the clothes .. not what you wish you had on.....
..... and the worst when some here try to say they look better than the SO ( sz 0 here for some of these comments above me ) .. that takes every single bit of fun out of it for us . It took years after the break from the agp'er before I wore anything attractive at home or in public outside of my work . I would practically wear rags or baggy sweatsuits .. nothing that would get him started . Or any other man outside my work . Its still in my head that all men do this and they are hiding it , so I am cautious with men even now..
Regular clothes , the AGP'er would wear what Krisi summed up in another thread .. tutus and heels .. pretty much .. clothing no one in their right mind would wear or should wear .. it was bad and my style is 60s-70s glitter rock mod with lots of velvet , fringe and colors ..
My fiance who passed away , dressed like a NYC society matron .. I used to tease him about it but we both enjoyed each others style . He loved to buy for me and dress me in my mod clothes too .. but our styles were different .
Last edited by Dutchess; 01-06-2023 at 11:00 PM.
IG : Knightress Oxide
Clothing apparel is generational...it's that simple. In today's younger generation it's comfort wearing jeans, yoga pants, sports bra etc. With dressing in a skirt leggings/ hose etc and a lace bra and or pants suit ...The day of garters etc well passey.....Unless it's job specific ie Hooters etc....
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
My wife doesn't know why women want to wear women's clothes, let alone her husband. She views clothing as functional.... to keep warm or to hide your privates. She can't stand anything which has to do with fashion and glamour. In a nutshell she could care less about what she wears.
- Robin
Because life is too short not to.
It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.
Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!
My wife and I are exactly the same as you and your wife, Charlotte, when it comes to lingerie. She is very much about comfort though and mostly wears yoga pants or leggings. She?s very much a girly girl though and enjoys her dresses and skirts and lovely tops so we?re on the same page there.
If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss
So far my girlfriend his ben receptive to me wearing lingerie under my clothes or to bed. She has said it's not a turn on seeing me wear it, but she likes seeing me be myself. She likes to wear it from time to time and at times is jealous of what I'm wearing. All I tell her is it's time to step up your game. Joking of course.
My partner doesn’t wear stockings, tights or pantyhose or any sexy underwear either. She doesn’t like wearing skirts and nylons and prefers wearing trousers or jeans. She is a tomboy. However, I have an obsession with nylons, tights and stockings and sexy garter belts and my partner supports my fetish and when we are in town she treats me to some nylons or women’s skirts and tops for me to wear at home.
Before my wife and I were married, she knew that I had an attraction to lingerie and my urges to want to wear it. Although for much of my marriage I have tried to suppress those urges, I always would ask her to wear fancy silky sheer corsets, babydolls, bodysuits, thongs etc. She was always happy to oblige early on in our marriage and presently on special occasions (anniversaries, my bday etc.) These days she complains that they don't fit her anymore now that she is 10 pounds heavier. She thinks she doesn't look good. I agree with you Charlotte, that since women CAN wear those things more acceptably, they aren't as excited to wear them. I would love the opportunity to wear some of that stuff around her if she could be accepting and learn to take me seriously in them.
Charlotte,
My wife takes care of herself, but she's not into sexy lingerie either.
If I even bought her something as a gift, it landed at the bottom of a drawer.
In more than 30 years of marriage, I think I could count on the fingers of one hand the instances when she put on something extra.
It's hard for me to resent her for this, such is her nature.
I'm not perfect either, unfortunately, because I secretly put on her clothes.
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