My coming out

[Lovely Rose]

Hello lovelies!

Happy new year! It's been a long time since I posted anything here, a lot has changed in my life, and today I feel I'm in a better position in terms of my cross dressing side. So I decided to start 2023 by sharing updates with you.

Two year an a half ago I met this lovely woman, we fell in love madly with each other. This is the kind of a relationship where it feels that the other person completes you like a puzzle. As the relationship progressed, I felt the need to come out as my true self, and I was very scared about this. Yet before I did so, we had to go to different countries where this relationship is now a long-distance one.

Now being physically separated did not affect the intensity of our feeling for each other, especially that we know we will be together again for sure. Being away from each other, I felt more courage to start coming out very slowly. Mind you that before we were separated, she gave one of her nightgowns as a souvenir (I didn't ask for it, I was lucky!). So one day I decided to wear her nightgown in front of her in a video call. It was a bit weird for sure, and she wanted to know why I'm doing this. I told her that this feels more comfortable to wear around the house, and it really is. Then I started to do that more often, and she was getting used to see me in a dress.

Then one day I brought up a shopping website for women clothes (Not gonna mention the name but you probably know it). I told her that I want try this summer dress. She asked why, and I said that if looks like something nice to wear, and comfy as well. So I ordered it and got it, and on a video call with her I tried it on. It was very nice and my GF had a ton on question marks over hr head. When we discussed the topic, I told her to express her feelings about this, and she had one fear in mind; that I might be secretly gay and not attracted to her. This is where told her that this is not a sexual orientation to me, it is just something that feels better.

Over time I bought more women clothes, and I was telling her about all my purchases. One thing that is positive about the whole thing is that as the time went on and as she saw that I am the same person and I have the same feelings to her, she started to feel more comfortable with the idea. And every time she expressed a concern about this, it was her fear that my sexual orientation is changing, which I assured it was not. Today I have drawer full of nice lingerie, dresses, and night gowns, and she is aware of everything I have and wear. 90% of the time when we are on a video call, I'm wearing something feminine. Even one time she asked me to wear specific piece of lingerie because she thought it was sexy and wanted to see me in it.

As we progress forward with our relationship, I feel good about the progress I'm making as I am opening up slowly to her while assuring her that it is me the same person she fell in love with, and I feel lucky that she is open-minded enough to accept this as long as it does not shake the foundations of our relationship. Keep in mind that outside my house I am tall guy with a beard and a very deep voice. I do not have female name of persona, and I am not interested in cross dressing publicly or sharing my thing with the outside world at the moment, right now I prefer to keep it for me within the comfort of my house and the the knowledge of my GF with no secrets hidden.

At the same time I acknowledge that honesty, open conversations, and sharing feelings are key in coming out to your SO. I also feel good about coming out because now she is a part of the journey, and she get to participate in it. Sometimes when I whos her something I want to buy and try on, she would give me advice about the size and about the comfort of specific clothing, and sometimes she gives me her preferences of what I should buy. From this point forward I intend to explore my self with her openly and transparently, and engage her along the way.

What's to take from all of this? be open with your SO as soon as possible, be honest, take things slowly. Cross dressing is a journey and you better get your SO on your journey. Keeping it a secret means that you are growing alone, and may grow away from your SO.

I am also interested in getting to know your comments, advice, questions, and anything in mind. I do know that many of you here have come a long way in this and may see a bigger picture that I may not see now.

Stay warn and safe with your loved ones, and have a great 2023.

Lovely rose

[GretchenM]

An interesting story for sure and a mostly positive one. Your advice to be open with your SO early on is a good one and respectful. But she is wondering and apparently continuing to wonder about your sexual orientation. You have tried to put her mind at ease, but perhaps there are still some questions in her mind as to why you are doing this and what it means. Are you sure you are being totally honest with her by saying it is a comfort thing? Is there more to it than that from your perspective? Is it a gender identity aspect, that is, that at times you feel the sensation of femaleness embracing you? If you are using comfort in women's clothes as the only attractive aspect and not revealing deeper motivations that do not include sex but rather your sense of self then I would say you are not being totally honest with her and she senses that which makes her wonder what is going on. Coming out involves revealing the whole thing and not just the bits and pieces that you feel might calm her fears. That can lead to a self-imposed trap and what she could interpret as a deception.

I am not saying that these matters are what you are doing, just that I sense a possibly incomplete presentation of what is going on so she can fully comprehend what you are talking about. She obviously sees crossdressing as an expression of something much deeper which she thinks you are maybe holding back. Even if that deeper motivation is not a desire to transition, crossdressing is usually an indication of some level of gender issue that is acting as the driver behind the behavior. It may be just a stronger than usual batch of female-like traits and characteristics that you feel needs some kind of expression outwardly. That is not unusual, but the crossdressing itself often does not reveal a clear sign of a connection to some degree of gender reversal at some level. To avoid gender dysphoria the person includes items that express that gender reversal to create a more comfortable sensation.

Perhaps rather than telling her what your motivations are you might want to ask her what she honestly thinks about this shift in your behavior than she is accustomed to which has set up some expectations in her mind about her image of who you are. Questions about her perspectives and feelings is probably more important than your expressing what you think is your motivation. Those may be very different things and that is also a part of the coming out process.

[bridget thronton]

Congrats on having to courage to come out early to your partner - Gretchen has good advice about sharing how far you want to go with this.

[Lovely Rose]

An interesting story for sure and a mostly positive one. Your advice to be open with your SO early on is a good one and respectful. But she is wondering and apparently continuing to wonder about your sexual orientation. You have tried to put her mind at ease, but perhaps there are still some questions in her mind as to why you are doing this and what it means. Are you sure you are being totally honest with her by saying it is a comfort thing? Is there more to it than that from your perspective? Is it a gender identity aspect, that is, that at times you feel the sensation of femaleness embracing you? If you are using comfort in women's clothes as the only attractive aspect and not revealing deeper motivations that do not include sex but rather your sense of self then I would say you are not being totally honest with her and she senses that which makes her wonder what is going on. Coming out involves revealing the whole thing and not just the bits and pieces that you feel might calm her fears. That can lead to a self-imposed trap and what she could interpret as a deception.

I am not saying that these matters are what you are doing, just that I sense a possibly incomplete presentation of what is going on so she can fully comprehend what you are talking about. She obviously sees crossdressing as an expression of something much deeper which she thinks you are maybe holding back. Even if that deeper motivation is not a desire to transition, crossdressing is usually an indication of some level of gender issue that is acting as the driver behind the behavior. It may be just a stronger than usual batch of female-like traits and characteristics that you feel needs some kind of expression outwardly. That is not unusual, but the crossdressing itself often does not reveal a clear sign of a connection to some degree of gender reversal at some level. To avoid gender dysphoria the person includes items that express that gender reversal to create a more comfortable sensation.

Perhaps rather than telling her what your motivations are you might want to ask her what she honestly thinks about this shift in your behavior than she is accustomed to which has set up some expectations in her mind about her image of who you are. Questions about her perspectives and feelings is probably more important than your expressing what you think is your motivation. Those may be very different things and that is also a part of the coming out process.

Hi, I totally agree with you, and I defenitly will intiate a conversation where she expresses her opinion and says what she prefers and where she sees this whole thing going. For me, I really passed the point where I had existential questions about my crossdressing. I donot want to transition or change who I am. I'm just regular guy with a special secret hobby.
Regarding the sexual apect of it, I am open with her about it, and she is very understanding. I relaize that having her onboard along the journey andevolving this with her is key for both of our happiness together.

I appreciate your advise truly

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rose , Just be Careful not to Overwhelm your Partner, >Orchid**00**

[alwayshave]

Rose, I'm glad that you have been able to show your SO your true self.

[Bobbi46]

Coming out has got goods and bads attached to it, I am so very happy for you that all is going well for you, not so with me I am slowly losing my son the rest of my family are right behind me