I?m so nervous going to therapy, my therapist is a women! What should I expect? What kind of questions should I anticipate? So nervous opening up to another person!
I?m so nervous going to therapy, my therapist is a women! What should I expect? What kind of questions should I anticipate? So nervous opening up to another person!
What kind of therapy are you going to? I would expect that the therapist will evaluate you by questioning you about whatever it is that is bothering you.
I really could not say without more information.
Joanne I am going to therapy to discuss my crossdressing and feminine side and how I struggle
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I hope to learn how to accept this side of me and who I am
Then you can expect the therapist to ask you why you dress the way you like to.
In all likelihood your therapist will ask you what brings you to her office. I would say this statement is a very good place to start. Her questions should guide you from there.Originally Posted by Josieone79
www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/
Thanks Kris
I?m sure my thought is taking my own life will come up as well
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I so look forward to all your inputs
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I will document my sessions maybe I can help someone else or make a difference, I never thought I would think the way to thought
I go to therapy from time to time with having anxiety and depression and panic disorder. After months of seeing them I finally opened up to my psychologist and mental health worker and they were both understanding of my crossdressing. They told me that if it makes me happy then that?s a good thing and encouraged it. My mental health worker even helped me go on Amazon to buy high heel stilettos.
Last edited by DrFishnets; 01-14-2023 at 07:05 PM.
I was given this advice, and it turned out to be good advice: Think ahead about what you need to talk about and make a short list to read off when you get there. It will help make sure your main areas are covered, and keep you from chickening out about anything you may be reluctant to mention.
Therapy is expensive and time consuming. Being able to get right into it can't hurt.
I've always felt more comfortable with female therapists, but that might just be me.
I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
Wonderful insight DRfishnet and April
Hi Josie,
Therapists like to build trust and give you a safe open forum to work in. The questions are deep and will make you search your memory and emotion. Be ready to become an open book. The answers you find may or may not lead you to your outcomes. Those are decisions you will have to make moving forward. Enjoy the journey. Colleen
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Feeling pretty on the inside.
You are clearly stressed about the prospect of discussing it with her. Tell her you are stressed about it. You are likely to get a lot of compassion. I take it you do not plan to go in there dressed, but a picture is worth a thousand words. You can just show a picture and say this is me. I will not say it is easier, but quicker about getting to the point so you can discuss your concerns.
My wife made me go to a therapist, and then my wife fired the therapist after being given a homework assignment of looking up crossdressing. I decided to go back for a final visit - while dressed. I asked the therapist what she thought and her answer was - I see a woman. I have not needed or wanted to go back since. That cured me.
Well actually I never really felt like i had a real problem, only my wife did. I really just consider myself playful. Once you find acceptance from others, it becomes much easier to find peace with yourself so keep that in mind. My 2 cents.
Sandi
Thanks Sandi
First of all, a therapist's office should be a "no judgement zone". if it's not, she is not the right therapist for you, and don't be afraid to find another one.
I was distressed about my crossdressing before going to therapy, and my wife was even more distressed.
As m signature says, "I accept and celebrate both sides of me." My wife has progressed to the "tolerate" level but not the "accept" level. I learned that I can't really influence how she feels about my crossdressing. It's her problem, not mine. Our relationship in DADT, but we have agreed boundaries. She allows me to go out dressed as long as she doesn't have to see me dressed or participate with me. I have lots of CD friends and I go out pretty regularly with them. We have a great time. Her loss.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Josieone. Godspeed. I hope you find what you seek.
Last edited by jazmine; 01-14-2023 at 11:55 PM.
So I like dressing like girl. BIG DEAL!
I will disagree with Sandi a bit.
The key thing is to accept yourself. Fortunately for me, I decided in my teenage years wanting to dress was just being me and I was OK with that.
Finding others that accepted me was a big bonus (my wife tolerates, but doesn't truly accept), but the key is to accept yourself.
What to tell your therapist? Everything you are revealing here.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
Personally, I feel the same.
I have only had one appointment so far with an approximate therapist several months ago. Much like Sandi, I felt like it was more of a precursor to setup the therapist talking with my wife, than me and some day it may still happen, but I still essentially enjoyed the session instead of being fearful of it.
To Josie. The therapist is there for YOU. You are paying her. Even if you just talk about your situation and feelings the whole time, it will help you feel better to talk about it out loud. My point is you shouldn?t be worried or anxious, but excited to feel more normalized by talking about it and being accepted and getting valid feedback.
Good luck and enjoy!
Therapists r trained to deal with your problems. As my therapist explained, "Ok, u cross dress, so what problems is that causing for u?"
In my case, that was my ex didn't like it. She said that was a problem my then wife had to deal with! And, we moved on to my ex. Which was my only real problem, not my dressing, at that time!
U only need to be clear about what problems u wish to discuss at your session, Josie!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I'd be thinking about my budget and to what end to your sessions are to yield. Then find a local support group including LGBTQ church. Spiritual is sometimes overlooked along with exercise and diet.
Good luck
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
So many great suggestions and all right on. Perhaps the most important thing is don't hold back details because you don't think they are relevant. Lay everything on the table and answer all questions as completely and honestly as possible. Sometimes what clients hold back is just what the therapist needs to know. There is a tendency to hold things back out of fear or shame and those held back things are often important clues in finding solutions. It is a tendency to rationalize that the subject is not important when we know it is a critical piece.
I cannot relate to therapy for my desire to wear women's clothing. Until my war related PTSD therapist relocated to out of state I had gone to see her every other week since 2010. If you have to pay for your visits or there is a limit on the number of allowable visits under a health insurance plans you may not have the time or money to beat around the bush.
With hindsight of twelve years I cannot recall once that my therapist told me to do something. It was always self exploration to resolve issues. She always asked or probe my thoughts; to get me to open up. If you're having thoughts of self harm that is a critical issue that needs to be resolved quickly.
Therapists are like craft beers. Sometimes you have to try a few different ones before you find one that you like.
I've been in and out of therapy for several years for a few different issues, gender and sexual issues among them. A couple therapists said after a couple sessions that they couldn't work with me and encouraged me to go to a psychiatrist. One therapist was good, but I was fired from a job right before I was being referred to a gender therapist. Lately, my step-kid saw a therapist who, after over a year, still hadn't discussed anything but D&D and anime with them.
Now, I'm gainfully employed and have a great therapist who is well versed in LGBTQ+ issues. It took several tries to find her, but now that I have, I'd take a bullet for her!
Lots of great input from all of you. I can?t thank you enough.
I?ll be honest I am nervous, excited, as my feelings go.
I feel this is truly a new year for me. Yes will take time, and will be a journey.
I am now just finding out how much love and caring individuals are out there.
Does it matter what she will ask for?
Just make one assumption: be honest to yourself and tell the truth to the therapist.
I can only echo what the others have already said.
I've been to both male and female counsellors, and while either one is fine, I found it easier to open up with the lady. I think it's a cultural thing - don't show vulnerability around men.
Be honest - FULLY honest. Hold nothing back. If you think you're going to shock or upset them, you won't, if they're any good at their jobs.
Don't expect them to "fix" you. IF anything needs fixing, that will be be your job. The therapist is there to give you the tools and the guidance to do the work you need to do.
What often happens is that you find out that you're not such a bad person after all, and as you learn to like yourself more, everything else gets better too.
I can't say that I've encountered this, but if you and the therapist don't "click" - find someone else. Remember - they're working for you, not the other way around.
Overall, there is no better person to talk to about your problems. You don't know them in your private life. They don't spread rumors. They won't laugh at you, or call you names. They are there to help. They offer an ear to listen and ask you questions that make you think. The rest is up to you.
Wishing you all the best,
Sara
I forgot to mention in my previous post that my mental health worker and psychologist were both female which made it easier for me to come out and tell them. If they were male I would of found it a lot more difficult.
Last edited by DrFishnets; 01-16-2023 at 09:35 AM.
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