If you had the choice of being a crossdresser or not being one, what would your choice be?
Imagine having such a switch, the desire to dress up on/off. How would you set it?
Without much drama, I accepted the feminine option in myself. I don't feel bad about it, I don't feel inferior to the average man.
However, if I had such a switch I would set it to OFF.😜
What makes you think its a choice ?, have you ever tried stopping, I cant. So that makes me unable to make a choice. But saying that I love it to pieces and could not imagine life without makeup and a dress on, and the click on heels walking down the street.
From a purely economical standpoint, I'd rather not. This habit is fun and harmless enough, but can be terribly expensive.
Good on you for working your way toward acceptance. I know you were struggling with that until very recently.
When haters hate, I celebrate!
If given the choice I wouldn't have started in my 50's, out of the blue!
It tore at me for over 10 years until I finally accepted my dressing. But, now that I've completely fallen down the Rabbit Hole and been living in Wonderland for 25 years? This old fart is having way too much fun to quit now!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I just go with it....The actual concept enlighten me and a better person.
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
There is no actual choice evidence points to the fact that all of us were born to be the way we are
I started life a lost man now I am a found woman
If you turn it to off, unless that also erasers all my memories of times dressed then it would be pointless.
And no, I wouldn't turn it off. Dressing, outandaboutery, has added to my life's experiences. I've gained so much, so many wonderful experiences and memories.
Yes it can rack up a financial bill but so can playing golf. I'd rather spend time looking for a new dress than a lost ball.
I'd 100% be rid of it, the memories of it, and my wife's memories of it.
I have said before that I love this side of me but as we know it comes with consequences. I thought I had succeeded in suppressing it and for years it worked, 9 years ago this month I came out to my wife after finally accepting this in myself.
If I had to make a keep it or dump it decision I think I would keep it.
Once I accepted this I was happier for sure
Crissy
If I had this magic switch, I would definitely keep it set to ON. Dressing in female attire opened up a world of feelings and emotions that enriched my vision of the world, of genders, of myself. I consider it a gift not a curse. And if I had a second magic switch, I would have told my wife early on, since the only thing I regret in the matter is having lied to her and kept her in the dark.
IMO, every guy has a "kink". If I wasn't a CD, I would have some sort of alternative interest, like being a furry or something else. There is no way of knowing in this sliding doors world if I would be better off or not.
I'm just lucky I accepted this about me about 50 years ago, and I decided I was OK with it. Over the last 6 years I've managed to overcome my fears, gotten out, made friends and had fun experiences. Yes, it causes some stress in my marriage, but getting pretty and going out gives me pleasure.
I have learned to deal with my crossdressing, which is more useful than any hypothetical "switch".
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
Sadly, there are no or very few choices to be made in the "to be or not be" department. But there are lots of choices along the way with regard to how one handles this state of being. It is now a matter of management. Considering the possible things I Could Do not many are actually viable unless the nature of the rest of my life is shifted about in various ways to alter the balance but leave the foundation in place as that is not very flexible. Who we are today is based to a great deal on who we were and what choices we made in the many yesterdays of Yesterday. History has a way of defining the limits of the future. We can make new choices today but the ability of those to actually have much impact depends on the nature of the foundation we have built and that past is only somewhat changeable. So I feel that now that I am 77, going on 78, flexibility is limited as to altering the future with new choices, not to mention the declining physical flexibility and strength. Recognizing this I pretty much let what is be and keep the changes to a minimum. I came to accept this 11 years ago and on the whole the years since have been good ones, although challenging. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
Betty, I have always been a crossdresser, so I don't know any other state. However, given your question with no other variables, I would choose not to be. Life would just be easier.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I'll say it. I'd want the switch to go the other way - to where the body matches the clothes, not to where the clothes match the body.
That's as impossible as the first choice.
Given a choice I would chose not to crossdress. Too expensive, I spend too much time thinking about, I think it has affected me dating when I was younger (I didn't want to put anyone else through this).
Sara
I seldom engage in the hypotheticals, but this one brought to mind a paraphrasing of Mark Twain: Quitting is easy. I have done it many times.
More seriously, most of us have tried to stop multiple times over the years. Our failures are not proof that it cannot be done, only evidence that we, as individuals, have thus far not been able to permanently abstain. But for all any of us knows, there may well be uncounted others who simply put this behind them, much as some finally quit tobacco or alcohol.
I like to think that I have free will and that if I really want to quit, if I choose not to be, that is within my capacity. So, that forces me to acknowledge that I want to continue. I do not mean to suggest this is due to a character flaw. In this respect, its simply allowing myself to enjoy something I find immensely satisfying.
I suppose the question could be reframed as “would I want to stop wanting”. I find that difficult to answer, because I don’t know any other existence. In this moment, my answer to that question is no. I would miss this part of myself, despite its complications.
Last edited by kimdl93; 01-18-2023 at 01:53 PM.
Interesting question, If there were switches that could change thought processes, mannerisms and general feelings
I would change other switches ling before the crossdressing. I get enjoyment and relaxation from the dressing.
If I could only switch one, the crossdressing would not be the one.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
If crossdressing was a choice I would have never started dressing as a Woman
From the first and everlasting feelings I experienced at age 5-6 when I wore my first pair of hose, I had no choice. The pink fog just made it more a part of me. I guess, if I had my druthers, I?d say no, but maybe it would?ve been something different. Life would?ve been simpler and less expensive, but it is, what it is. Having a supportive wife is all the difference. Telling her was the toughest but best thing I ever did.
From the point of view in the society in which I live, the 'off' position. From my personal place, not considering society, the 'on' position, with one exception. That one exception is that my CD'ing had never got caught up in the masturbating/sexual side of things. This was a rabbit hole that I in retrospect, wish I could have avoided. The rabbit hole took me far deeper than I ever should have gone. I fought against that 'ringing bell' (Pavlov) too much and it still occasionally rears its ugly head.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
I accept myself as is. I'm fortunate to have a wife that also supports me. I haven't gone out in years. I'm a stay at home dresser and am happy with that. I have self imposed a break from my normal daily dress to be ready to help an elderly neighbor who just had surgery. I'm happy to do it but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to a little anxiety of not being able to be "Vickie". If it was possible to stop these desires and not have the anxiety " not dressing" creates, I'd turn it off and not look back.
Life would have been a lot simpler. Why would any man want to engage in some activity that leads friction with a wife? Lose friends, family, social standing? Too many people feel wearing women's clothing is a conscious choice. It's not. You will never read any post of mine declaring my cross dressing is a "hobby." I collect coins and built military models; That's my hobby. I told my wife when we had "The Talk" that "I do not know, why I do, what I do!" I don't. On a positive note; since I know I am not like the general public, I am definitely more accepting of others and can identify with their angst when there is discrimination,
I tried to shut it off many times over the many decades I've been dressing.
Long ago I thought it was a curse. I've come to realize that this part of me is necessary for me to be me. A girlfriend long ago told me she felt I was the most sensitive, caring and understanding man she had ever met and I attribute that to my feminine side. Maybe I could have never been this way, but then there is so much I would have missed out on in life. So many people I would never have met.
This is me. It's not going away and I'm not denying it.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
For me it started in my early teens. And about ten years ago in a discussion with my wife, came to the conclusion it's just the way I am wired and really nothing I can do about other than not let it consume me.
Definitely the ON position fro me. Since I started actively only about a year and a half ago - at age 69 - I have experienced only positive benefits, most notably to my overall psyche. I have not felt this good in years, maybe ever, so clearly CDing hits on something deep within that needed attention. My only concern is the financial aspect - and I'm trying to keep that under control.
www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/
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