Photos are a moment frozen in time. They don't do much to convey movement. When you are out in public everything you do paints a picture of who you are. How you move is just as important as how you look. I try my best to act the part as well as look the part.
Hah. My SO just said yesterday that I was ?prancing? while dressed. I didn?t know what she was talking about? but apparently the mannerism was there. Now, was that a good Fem mannerism? *shrug*
I think the original sin here is that we tend to take postures mannerisms etc., which are things acquired by education, for femininity. But when GGs speak about their femininity (for example in older Ask-a-GG threads) it's something very internal, very much in their essence as a female, not an outer apparence or behavior. Like one once wrote, "I could walk the dog to the muddy hill under heavy rain with my hair soaked and still feel as much feminine as usual (or something along these lines). When I read that, I conclude that, yes, a women walking like a lumberjack can feel feminine too. In short, there is a perceived femininity that is a crossdresser (or male) definition, and actual femininity, which seems to be something very different. The problem is that men have long influenced (in fashion, in education) the social view of femininity, like the "eternel feminin" of haute couture, and this is in the end a men's creation (even if propagated by women too) that falls short of describing what it actually means for women themselves.Originally Posted by AmyJordan
"So, I'm a crossdresser. Mmh. What's that thing, again?"
Considering telling your SO? Read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner
Footwear? Can we talk about something hopefully innocent-enough like footwear, please?
I believe someone briefly mentioned it earlier, anyway...
It eventually dawned on me recently, like the past couple weeks or so.
I suddenly realized: Wait, I'm not walking -- my *shoes* are doing the walking!
Probably started with my low-heeled military booties. Genuine leather, lace-up, feel like a hottie rock-star in 'em!
It's like whenever I'm wearing them, I have this natural little strut going on, LOL. I think it was there all along, just that maybe I wasn't allowing myself to just relax & run with it. Well, something changed, and I just let it happen.
It's the booties. The way they're shaped, designed, fit. It causes one to walk a bit differently -- no matter who is wearing them.
Same thing with my genuine leather ballet flats. They cause me to move in a certain & different way. Dare I say... More *feminine*??Just the nature of the game.
Really, when you just allow yourself to "become one" with your hopefully-awesome-for-you footwear? You have a new spring to your step, literally! And that can definitely affect your mood & outlook -- as well as your mannerisms.
I end up doing when I feel my nails get a tad longer. Makes me think of the times when Olivia is free
Hi Diane. I'm sorry your reply has confused me even more, maybe I'm just being dumb or don't think as deeply as you. Are you saying GGs are insulted by men trying to look like them, because my wife particularly would highly disagree as would hundreds of thousands who love Drag shows, RuPaul and others with partners they lovingly support or that we can't copy them because femininity is only possible in a woman's inner being ( that's abit to deep for me ) or that men should not only pick certain aspects of femininity I.e heels, make-up, mannerisms that appeal to us but instead also pick every other traits I.e trousers, no makeup, hoodie, swearing etc because there are some women who prefer that style and we shouldn't leave them out, in which case this forum will probably have a completely different audience. As I say maybe I'm being dumb.
Folks who watch me walk gender me as female.
Marion
Hi Amy. I agree with you. I also agree with Diane to a point, since as you have acknowledged, there's a lot of variety in the way women present themselves. In fact, my wife wears minimal makeup, never skirts, dresses, stockings or pantyhose, or heels, and often wears plaid button-down shirts or masculine looking golf shirts. However, as I think you would agree, we as crossdressers do it because we're strongly attracted to the most feminine aspects of how (dare I say) most women present themselves. Sure, most women don't dress up to go grocery shopping or to the hardware store, but some do! Even when dressed in what we might call "feminine drab" (sneakers, jeans, hoodie, no makeup, hair short or tied back), my observations are that they still have the feminine mannerisms we've discussed here, at least to a certain extent. So, IMHO, it shouldn't be offensive or misogynistic to notice that, and you're not dumb!
Last edited by Larissa Cassandra; 02-04-2023 at 06:14 PM.
Amy, you're not dumb. And nothing wrong in trying to look the part, even if that part may be somewhat stereotyped*. My initial point was that talking about outer, superficial things like clothes and so-called "feminine" postures and behaviors to describe how to "emulate women as much as possible" is very reductive and can indeed be resented by some GGs.
*Although, if you go out like this, you will propagate these stereotypes.
My observation is that secure women [as in attachment theory secure] and women who are very clear that feminine expression is a performance assigned to them and necessary for them to get by/succeed , but who do not identify it as their fortress- see and understand exactly what guys are trying to accomplish when crossing over. That said, my daughter choked up when she said I was adopting the pleasures without the burdens and confinements of being a woman is society!
For me the physical release of allowing my body to flow into the feminine expression is a huge need and wonderful part of the experience. I love the inner feelings and change in sense of mass and lightness on my feet. My wife used the same word prancing- since of course the walk is very much that of a show horse! It has its costs, like I would need a few milliseconds to get my heels off and fight the cave bear., and white dresses are really hard to clean, and people sort of wonder why I am not agreeing to the cost/benefit tradeoff offered me as a male.
I am also really aware of how and why so many women choose just to dress in neutral ways that don't exaggerate our sexuality. And aware that the general social approval of displaying feminine sexuality only extends to females.
To get back to your original question, I am aware when my feminine expression bleeds over into my masculine mode and usually I curb it. At that point I am more aware of the options that gender flexible men have- and I am more of the John Wayne mode- if I have to be a man I am gritty- - but more importantly I definitely identify as a woman so I'd rather express femininity from that foundation. That siad, I have inescapably morphed into a gentle and non John Wayne type of guy - and I am not sorry.
We are all beautiful...!
I did not think I adopted feminine mannerisms until I recorded a video for my wife. She wanted to see me in my new outfit. When I reviewed the video, I noticed that I was using gestures and body posture, I was like I act totally feminine when I am dressed. My wife said ?shocking?.
When I first started going out dressed, I tried to mimic female mannerisms and even change the pitch of my voice. I looked and felt like a parody. So I decided to just be myself, with the exception of how I walk, and just to speak a bit softer. That has worked best for me when interacting with women and men. Just today I was at a restaurant bar having lunch and had a lovely conversation with an older couple seated next to me. They were quite old and not very worldly, if you know what I mean, and they engaged me for an hour, to talk about everything and nothing. At the end the husband apologized for keeping me from my food. Just being myself.
Last edited by MonicaPVD; 02-11-2023 at 05:01 PM.
While I can POSE in a feminine manner, I can't really move and gesture like a woman. I would be the world's WORST female impersonator.---- I am not sure if I just do not have the skills to do it or if I am subconsciously "limiting" myself into not going "too far". While I can LOOK like a woman, I don't seem to be able to ACT the part.---Conversely, when I don't Look like a woman (As dressed in my male mode) I CAN affect female gestures, to a fair degree. My own psyche might be limiting how deep it will let me go into a female persona.
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