Age and acceptance

[Angela Marie]

As I have noted in previous posts I came to embrace my feminine side as a transgender person about a year ago. I more and more feel like Angela; which leads to my question. I am 68 going on 69 and I have been recently dressing when I go out shopping, to the doctors office, etc. It has been a slow process since I don't dress fully. On my next appointment i'm going to go almost fully femme, sans wigs. Have any of you started your coming out process at a later age and did you feel it was more difficult?

[Victoria1]

I have tended to adopt more of an, I don't really care attitude. I am not out to anyone except my wife and a few sales clerks. I've supressed this desire for my entire life. My thought is, If not now, then when? I'm 69 years old and running out of time to deny myself the things that I really desire. To answer your question, I don't think it ever gets easier I think that you just get tired of trying to work around it.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Angela,

I'm 58 and I'm actually finding it easier to express myself at this age than when I was younger. To put it rather bluntly I find that I care less about what others think now than I did when I was younger.

[happybra]

Hi Angela,

I'm 58 and I'm actually finding it easier to express myself at this age than when I was younger. To put it rather bluntly I find that I care less about what others think now than I did when I was younger.

I just turned 48 and I have started to accept the F -it attitude, you don't like seeing me in a skirt or seeing my bra, then don't look..I am living my life, not yours... But I have also seen no one either notices or cares.

[Melinda Jean]

I am 64 now and have been dressing since my teenage years (off and on). I dress because I enjoy the serenity and stress relief that that it brings me. I would certainly never pass out in the wild! Think NFL linebacker in a dress!. That being said, it makes me feel calm inside. I may gain enough courage to venture out at some point, but I don't see it occurring soon as I live in a small town that may not be so accepting. Baby steps!

[RoxieGrl]

I am in a similar situation. I dress up because it satisfies me. If I decide to go out en femme, it really does not matter to me if I am accepted. Of course it makes a difference where you live. I guess that the small town that I used to live in in the States might not be as welcoming to me as the people here in Holland are, although there are more than likely pockets of people here would would not accept my appearance. Big deal. It's my life, and I am not affecting them, so they should just leave me alone.
Of course baby steps are the way to go out. When I first thought about crossdressing, I would do no more than wear panties, panty hose and a bra underneath my drab clothing. As time went on, I did my nails with clear polish, and used some transparent mascara. That was when I actually had to go to work. Now that I am retired, I don't have to live under those constraints. It is quite liberating, and helps me feel much better when going en femme.

[Bobbi46]

I was about 58 when Bobbi decided now is the time to go for it.The only slight difficulty I found before coming out was that of, how many expat friends will cut me off,.If you have lived for any length of time in a foreign country no matter how much you want to integrate, your own country folk are also much needed, so i was hesitant at first and yes I did lose 4 friends as a result. I got over that and began to build the 24/7 life that Bobbi always wanted.
Now I dress every day I go wherever I want to. I go for Dr's and hospital visits as Bobbi and for all of my shopping needs.
In my locality I am well accepted and in town too more so after the local paper did an article about me and the LGBTQ movement as a whole. Yes I stuck my neck out doing that but it worked and did us all a lot of good

[Rhonda Jean]

I'm just the opposite, so I LOVE reading these inspirational posts! Maybe there's hope for me!

[Bobbi46]

Rhonda Jean dressed and looking as delicious as your avatar you will have no problems blending in,!!! you are there already, all you now need is the courage to take those first tentative steps outside of your front door. Keep telling yourself I am OK and wow nobody is actually staring at me!!. Yes daunting at first love but believe me it gets easier and more enjoyable!!
Go for it hon

[Cheryl T]

I feel it's actually become easier to come out and express myself as I have gotten older.
I believe it's because at this point I care less and less about what others think and more and more about how I feel.

[Rhonda Jean]

Rhonda Jean dressed and looking as delicious as your avatar you will have no problems blending in,!!! you are there already, all you now need is the courage to take those first tentative steps outside of your front door. Keep telling yourself I am OK and wow nobody is actually staring at me!!. Yes daunting at first love but believe me it gets easier and more enjoyable!!
Go for it hon

Well, thanks! But that pic is 13 years old. I've just completed (hopefully) a hiatus of a couple of years and it hasn't been easy getting back to it, but other than that I've been going out on a very frequent basis for almost 50 years. Yes, a CDing dinosaur!

[Bea_]

I started dressing in my mid-fifties. I'm 67 now. My acceptance of myself is very much dependent on my wife's acceptance, which is moderate. She thinks she's been VERY accepting while I feel fairly stifled in my choices, even at home.

I've been reserved in pretty much everything for my whole life. Certain factors in my marriage caused me to embrace the developing tastes when it started. I started looking at what I LIKED rather than what was expected. And what I liked has been much more feminine than I'd have guessed when i started, even though I am thoroughly a bearded man-in-a-dress.

I'm not sure that age is the big driver in any change for me. My reaction to personal drama/trauma has caused the masculine filter to be dismantled in my life.

[NancySue]

Double ditto Cheryl. Perfectly said. I do what I want/need, when I want/need. My wonderful, supportive wife completes the circle.

[Brenda Freeman]

When I retired I grew my hair out pierced my ears and now wear minimal make up when I go out as Brenda and feel more comfortable. I agree with many getting older (I am 68), I care less what others think, and I do think partly as women get older they lose interest in make up and dressed to the nines so that makes me less noticeable.

[Stephanie47]

I'm 75. It was a rough journey to get to where my mind is right now, although my self acceptance was decades ago. I do admit my comfort zone is still in private mode as being tag as a cross dresser still has negative connotations. Being married to a woman who is not fully onboard, I do not want to "rub it into her face."

How did I get to my self acceptance? When my wife and I had "The Talk" in the early 1980's I told her "I do not know, why I do, what I do." Giving her some bullshit line about connecting to my feminine side just rang hollow to her, and me too. A BS line did not answer the "why."

In 2000 when I was 53 a war injury to my spine had me in agony that forced me into the VA emergency room. My wife was with me. I was babbling incoherently about the occurrence of when the injury occurred. The incident made me reflect back and sort of use the "scale of life," weighing my societal accomplishments vs cross dressing. In my mind it was like the school yard see-saw with cross-dressing me sitting up in the sky by the weight of otherwise maleness. "You asked me to do some shitty things in my journey that you would never do, so cut me some slack." So much for my early morning rant.

[alwayshave]

Like others have stated, the older I get the less I care about what others think. As such, I'm more comfortable dressing.

[BrendaPDX]

Angela, I don't know about coming out as much as getting out. In the Portland Oregon area presenting as "Brenda" won't bring a bad word or second glance, it just is what it is. We have enough "other" issues to occupy our time. Brenda

[docrobbysherry]

Angela, I am a CD so I don't plan on "comng out". However, it never occurred to me to even try on women's things until I was over 50. I'm 80 now and since then Sherry has turned my life upside down!

If I had begun dressing in my 20's or 30's I don't know if life would have been easier dressing back then?

But, I DO know the last 50+ years would have been completely different!

[Sometimes Steffi]

In case you haven't heard it said before, women of a certain age become invisible to all men and many women.

So, think of "advanced age" at the Klingon cloaking device.

[JackieD]

I am hitting 73. With no major health problem, like I only have X weeks to live. I know I have a short amount of time ,,,good time. ,,left. So ? so what, what other people think? I worked all my life , It?s now my time to do what I want.
I am not hurting anybody. Not causing anyone pain. No causing anyone to lose their job, home, family. I can do what I want

[rachael j.]

I am 63, and started HRT[ in 2016. I'm out to my whole family (2 family reunions as Rachael) but not at work just to make things easier untill I retire. I only wear my (women's) clothes but with that I dress somewhat androgynous for work. It's been a while since I've worn make-up or heels mostly because I haven't had anywhere nice to go. It's much easier now to be myself than years ago, but since I grew up in the '60's I still have some hesitation dressing up nice to go out- that absolute non-acceptance from when I was young and definite danger to life and health. I do overcome those feelings occasionally when I find something fun to do. And by the way, I usually go out wearing a hat because even though I have below the shoulder hair, I don't have a forehead - I have a 5,6,7head and I try to disguise it.

[Aunt Kelly]

Yes, and no. I have known that I was "some kind of transgender" since I was four or five years old. I did not really come to grips with being TS until I was 62, so yeah, definitely later in life. It's easier now, not because of my age, but because society has become more enlightened and accepting. Sure, there still are a few cultural troglodytes, but they are not the norm, as was the case when I was much younger.

[Fiona_44]

I am a few years older than you and only started dressing fully and going out en femme in May 2022. I did not find it particularly difficult and grew very comfortable with it rather quickly.

[Natalie5004]

Age for me does have something to do with dressing, I love it. If I was living alone I probably would start HRT.

My wife wants the man she married not a drag queen. But that being said, for now I get pretty much 5 days a week to dress and I go out fairly often. And I realize that here in CA, nobody really cares what I do and I do not care what they think. Except for my wife whose feelings I have to respect and will respect.

[GracieRose]

A lot of interesting comments here. Being 68 going on 69 myself, it's great to hear from so many that are about my age.
I too care less about what most others think as I get older and closer to meeting the grim reaper. However, my wife does care, a lot! So as long as she's around (and I expect her to outlast me based on standard probabilities) I am unable to 'come out' to anyone but her. So I go across town a few times a week, away from those that know us, and do the grocery shopping (and expand my female wardrobe). Not perfect, but you do what you can with what you have to work with.