A look says allot

[Brandie.n]

I was talking to one of my Metropolis friends and she asked if I was coming up this year for Superman celebration. I told her it depends on my tax return I had a rough year and that will be the only way I can afford the trip. She told me she hopes I can make so we can have a Supergirl weekend. Then she told me something that caught me off guard. She told me when im up there dressed as Supergirl and Wonder Woman I have the biggest smile on my face I look truly happy and enjoying myself. She seen Brandys pics on facebook and Im always smiling happy enjoying life. When she looks at my male pics im not smiling and have a scowl on my face.
I never noticed now I got some thinking to do.

[Stephanie47]

I think the societal imposed obligations thrown on a male weight heavy sometimes. Shedding some vestiges of maleness can bring relief or escape from those troubles. It does not have to be wearing women's attire. It can be anything. I found being fully en femme and doing the June Cleaver domestic chores shed all vestiges of maleness. I have many friends who escaped life with drugs and alcohol which damaged their marriages and relationships; Just as much a guy who does not have the societal approval for wearing women's attire. So, I'd rather spend a day emulating a woman than downing a bottle of booze. In the end I have a pretty dress rather than an empty bottle.

[BTWimRobin]

I've seen a lot of guy vs girl mode pictures. The girl mode pictures always have a beautiful smile. The guy mode pics almost never have a smile.

[BrendaPDX]

I think Stephanie has it here "I have a pretty dress rather than an empty bottle." Well how about a pretty dress and 1/2 of a bottle? LOL

[Crissy 107]

Brandi, I think your recent thread about the boy you is a 5 and the girl you is a 10 says a lot. The boy you is just there the girl you is happy to be there.
I am sure you are not all alone with this

[Heather76]

Simply put, I hope you are able to make the Superman celebration. The smile on your face is worth whatever it takes to get there.

[Jane G]

Things that always make me smile. Snow on a clear blue sunny day in the mountains, young animals, and cross dressing. Hope the tax return works out. You go Supergirl.

[alwayshave]

Brandie, While I don't smile well in either mode, I know I am much happier when dressed.

[GretchenM]

You are definitely not alone in this. In fact it is part what we are taught to be like. Males should portray the strong, determined, unemotional dominant person; females are the more emotional ones that smile and cry and are submissive and dependent on males. OK, that's extreme, but you get the idea. It is the BS of the Gender Binary that goes back hundreds of years and is deeply immersed in stereotypical thinking.

Problem is we are not molded in a factory and nearly every male has female-like traits and characteristics, but they are taught to not show those. And the reverse is equally true. (A 12 year old Tomboy is cute; a 45 year old Tomboy is not. Baloney.) We are expected to follow the traditional and stereotypical road. The problem with that is that it sometimes makes people very uncomfortable to do that - that is the foundation of dysphoria which is discomfort. Carried too far, it can become pathological because it can produce deep conflicts and even lead to suicide. And some people are also uncomfortable being around a male that shows female-like behavior because they too are locked into the traditional and stereotypical. In terms of gender behaviors we live in a really screwed up world.

Solution? Be yourself and let what you feel is correct for you come out fully. At the very least they will wonder what you are up to. So, Brandie, be yourself completely. Smile big and for goodness sake don't stick your hands in your pockets when you talk as so many males do. In some circles hand motions indicate you have emotions and if you are male, in some environments, that is improper (almost illegal).

Of course, I am being a bit extreme, but it does get the point across. Being a happy (traditionally female-like) male can be contagious and help others to loosen up and activate those female-like traits in them.

[Bobbi46]

There is something about life and smiling when my ex dumped me all of my ex pat friends said I looked better and my daughter when she came over and saw me dressed for the first she told me I look so happy and relaxed. And yes this very true because I have found true meaning and happiness in life with my neighbours and in town when I go there dressed getting accepted and liked is the crux of a happy time dressed. And yes I have lived and laughed remembering the funny times I had dressed too because dressing should be a happy time and delicious too.

[April Rose]

I remember that, on one of the last days at Fantasia Fair two years ago, I realized that my face hurt a little. I just wasn't used to smiling so much! So, Yeah...