So I have managed to continually wear panties for 24/7 for over six months without, what I can only assume is, my wife's knowledge. I just wondered if anyone has any similar experience or story. New member here and just reading through many of these threads has been exciting. First of all, sorry that it is long but a little backstory:
***Tried to keep any intimate details within the rules but please let me know.***
I am in my late 30s. My wife and I have been married for 17 years. While we were engaged, I confessed to her that I liked to wear women's panties and had been attracted to the feel of nylon and silk since I was 5 or 6. It was a big shock to her and she didn't like it but we were still married after I told her I would guard against these urges. We have had a relatively good marriage. We have 4 children in the house (teenagers and under). 5 years into our marriage I got the urge and began wearing her panties when everyone was away. Although initially a sexual attraction and urge I predominantly enjoy wearing panties for the comfort, but there are still sexual attractions there when wearing. One of the big attractions was wanting to sleep next to her at night cuddled up both wearing panties. It just felt so comfortable and a way of feeling really close. After a night or 2, she eventually reached over and found out. She was pretty upset. I vowed to not do it again, then 3 or 4 years later caught me again while sleeping. Again each time she would throw away that panties saying that she couldn't stand the thought of seeing them knowing that I'd worn them.
About a year later (10 years into our marriage), she began using the silk & nylon lingerie, slips during intimate times in the bedroom (always her wearing them) knowing that they were a turn on to me. She even said, "I know you really like this and want you to be happy" encouraging me to get satisfaction from the soft and sensual silk feeling, feeling it on her as I touch and lay against her. That night as we were going to sleep together, I told her how good that made me feel, that she knew my turn ons and was encouraging me to enjoy the feel (again on her but of course me touching her). It really made me feel this super close feeling to her, that she was going out of her way to lean into my turn ons even after I had, in my mind, really screwed up my chances.
Around this time, I start changing from wearing boxer briefs to briefs, then a year later nylon/microfiber CK briefs and Jockey briefs. A few of the pairs had colorful patterns on them, something that she said she was not a fan of because she said they seemed girly. I told her that I didn't care about the colors at all and tried from then on out to buy only black pairs. Although she didn't love it initially, and would sometimes make comments about how girly they felt, she eventually said she got used to them. However I was still desiring to wear thinner and more silky panties around her. My attraction to panties, isn't ever really any lace or anything like that. Just the plain silky/nylon panties. She ended up buying 10 pairs of new panties for herself and continued to let me enjoy rubbing against her in them when she was not in the mood.
About a year or 2 ago, she had some hormonal issues where she really lost desire to be intimate for a while. She felt really bad about our mismatched levels of desire but kept saying that she couldn't get into it. That caused a lot of nights going to sleep feeling lonely and her feeling like a bad wife. One night, I fell into the temptation to get a pair of her panties and wear them to bed. She didn't catch me that night but I secretly wanted her to know that I'd worn them thinking that maybe she would say this was the concession that I needed. She found them that morning on the floor on my side of the bed. She confronted me, also feeling bad for her issues and basically just said "you can wear them but I don't want to know about it". I didn't really take her seriously because she was still upset about it all.
A few days went by and we talked again about it. She told me that she knows that she told me that but that she really didn't want me wearing hers. Also around this time, she had been wearing my shirts, sweatpants, and even some running shoes to run in. She would always act like that was totally acceptable. She would get upset if I would make any comment, even in a joking manner, about her wearing my stuff. She would say, "All wives do this kind of stuff and their husbands like it and think it's cute." Then she would go on to say about me wearing her stuff, "it's just my underwear. You can wear other things of mine. I just don't want you wearing my underwear." One day last winter, I was out shoveling the snow on a 0 degree day and found a pair of her leggings to wear under my jeans. I came back in and was going to shower and she saw that I had been wearing them and she asked about it, I told her because it was cold, and she again kinda rolled her eyes even though I had worn her leggings the winter before while we lived in a very cold farm house. Again she said stuff to me like, "I just don't like the idea of us sharing underwear."
Again around this time, she was still struggling with wanting to be intimate. Although when we are intimate, we are both very satisfied, I just have a higher drive than her. So on the nights that she doesn't desire it many times she would just say to me, "What would turn you on the most? I want to make you happy!" On a few occasions, she would find something silk of hers to let me rub against. So last spring, I began putting the last few years together and thought, "I need to buy my own panties". This is something I had done in the past but always purged within a few days out of guilt.
So I just began buying black nylon panties that looked similar to my mens nylon briefs. Normally the standard favorites from Vanity Fair, Warners, & Jockey. I would buy a pair every few weeks and even put them in my underwear drawer at the bottom. I started wearing them throughout the weeks mixed in with my mens briefs. I started to realize that she didn't suspect anything. Within the first few weeks, I went to spoon with her and she reached back and was like, "How can I make you happy tonight?" while touching and pulling the side of my panties! She didn't seem to notice. That night, I was able to get her into it and pulled my panties to the side and be intimate without her suspecting anything.
Since July 1st of 2022, I haven't worn my men's underwear at all. What started with a lot of nervousness has turned into almost total comfort. I've walked around our bedroom at night with just a t-shirt and panties, even taking my shirt off and her looking at me talking. Many times in the night, she reaches over to slide her hands underneath the band on the side of my panties. We've been intimate 20 or 30 times at least with her touching my panties. Most of the time she doesn't say anything. One time while wearing a pair of my Vanity Fair Beyond Comfort Hi-Cuts, she was like, "Did you buy knew underwear? These feel like pantyhose material." Another time, while I was wearing a pair of Warners NPNP, she was touching me in the panties and was like "These are just so silky and thin." Almost egging me on I felt like. I regret not saying anything then but I almost felt like even if she suspected it would be like what she told me a few years ago and be in a DADT panty wearing relationship.
I do feel that even if she knew now, she will have come to realization that I'm not gay, and all the other things that wives worry about at first. If she would be ok with me wearing panties 24/7 and possibly someday wearing silky slips or nightgowns to bed, I would be totally content. Right now, I'm just kinda wanting to see how long I can go without her knowing or waiting for her to broach the topic in a way that I think would allow her to understand my desires and her to accept them. I still continue to wash/dry my panties when I am home alone. And yes, I am putting a pair of my clean men's underwear in the laundry basket to not cause too much suspicion...
From what I have seen on these forums so far, I guess I am an underdresser and don't really fall into the full crossdresser. Again not saying that I wouldn't get a thrill out of shaving my entire body, wearing a sexy bra with breast forms, pantyhose, panties, and a nice dress but that just isn't something that I have a huge or regular desire to do right now. Are there any other Underdressers out there that have had an experience similar to mine with what I'll call 'Incognito Panties"? Any other experiences that have slowly coaxed your wife or SO into the idea of you wearing panties?
-Secret Panties