Becoming normal

[Maria 60]

My wife has always been very disapline with me about leaving my fem stuff out. Last weekend I left my pink fluffy slippers on the shoe mat at the front door. This morning I was looking for them and they were still at the front door. I asked my wife if they were there all week, she kind of gave me a "I guess" answer and I paused waiting for the well deserved lecture on leaving my stuff out in the open. Instead she didn't say anything and I thought to myself that my kids were in and out all week and my daughter who notices a hair out of place didn't make a comment about who's size 10 pink slippers are at the front door. I remembered my in-laws came by during the day and I'm sure if anyone would have made a comment my wife would have told me something. I know it's just a little thing but I guess sometime things just become normal and surprised that my wife didn't even pay attention to the slippers at the front door. It must be becoming normal for her to see my stuff around. Just thought I would share what little things amuse me and still sometimes in big disbelief of these little things.

[docrobbysherry]

How would anyone know they were yours and not your wife's, Maria? U think someone would pick them up and look at the size? Why?

And, then they'd think, "She's a size 9 so they must be his?" Who would even know that, much less care?

If u leave things out and your wife doesn't notice or care, I don't think u need to either!

[alwayshave]

Maria, I'm with Sherry, a size 9 is not that big compared to my size 13s.

[Geena75]

With pink fuzzy slippers, size can be deceiving. I know I can hardly tell the size of shoes just by looking at them. So, seeing feminine slippers of an undetermined size laying around, anyone would probably assume they are your spouse's. Still, it would probably be a good idea to put things away lest the questions begin.

[Heather76]

I'm not surprised visitors didn't either notice or comments about the slippers. But, I think the point of your post, Maria, is that your wife didn't say anything. I agree with you that your wife has come to the point where some things just seem normal. I'm sure, in my situation, seeing me mostly en femme (but with no makeup and no wig) at home has become normal. We are what we are and repetition only enforces that fact.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Miria, Sounds like you are trying to push the Envelope ,

[Maria 60]

I must admit probably someone wouldn't take notice of a slipper at the front door, I really didn't take notice to it but not that I did and there still there now just gives me a good feeling. I don't know maybe a feeling of something is out.

[char GG]

If your wife would rather that you not leave fem stuff out, then why are you purposely doing this?

A pink, fluffy slipper left at the front door! Don't think she doesn't notice or doesn't care. She must be "picking her battles". As Blue Orchid said, you are pushing the envelope. This may all backfire on you.

This type of behavior is considered the "drip drip drip" method of trying to get a SO on board with something that she would rather you not do.

Your wife is, is and always has been your biggest supporter. Don't push it.

[Crissy 107]

You gotta do better. My guess is your SIL may have said something, yes she knows, but why have that occur.

[GretchenM]

I tend to agree with Char and others that you are perhaps pushing things a bit beyond the boundaries. That is not totally bad, but it is tad aggressive in an expected environment with pretty firm boundaries your wife has set. Unless there is an appropriate acceptance it could backfire on you to some extent. There are simply some things that we should not do. I think you need to boost your awareness of what makes your wife uncomfortable and don't push that boundary without a prior understanding. In my opinion, it is a pretty masculine thing to do.

[Di]

My feelings as a GG on this

My wife has always been very disapline with me about leaving my fem stuff out. Last weekend I left my pink fluffy slippers on the shoe mat at the front door

As supportive as your wife is and encouraging she is to your cding
And
This is all she asks of you?
I would be livid, feel disrespected and those slippers would have been in the trash.
That?s just me
She is very supportive of you and like I alway say it needs to be BOTH Ways.

I get when some GGs say I tried but it was just so one sided ?.little things like this can add up.

Just saying

[April Rose]

[QUOTE=char GG;4629559]If your wife would rather that you not leave fem stuff out, then why are you purposely doing this?

Not every mistake is some kind of passive aggressive limit pushing. I've been reading a lot about ADHD and how often the spouse accuses the ADHD person of trying to sabotage the relationship thru their constant disorganization or forgetfulness or tardiness. The ADHD person promises to do better but it doesn't always happen, because that's the nature of the disorder. I don't want to tell you how many times a week I find a cold cup of coffee in the microwave because I walked off and forgot it there hours ago. I don't mean to imply that Maria is ADHD, but we're all getting older, and stuff happens. It doesn't look to me like Maria is pushing her luck. It seems like a pretty well balanced relationship to me.

[Maria 60]

After being here for almost thirteen years if I learned anything I learned to listen because there's a lot of experience here. With the overwhelming responses here, let's just say the pink slippers are back in the closet out of site. Thanks ��