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Thread: Does your CDing impact you sleeping arrangement?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Does your CDing impact you sleeping arrangement?

    Some recent responses to another thread have indicated that some girls do not sleep with their wives/partners (many, sadly, because of various medical conditions). I am curious: If you do not sleep with your wife/partner, is it because of your crossdressing? If you sleep separately, do you sleep en femme? And do you keep this secret from her? If you sleep together, do you wear femme pj?s and panties (I do) or a nightie?

    As some others have mentioned, for me, sleeping wearing feminine items is very calming and reassuring. Fortunately, my wife seems to understand this. Nancy

  2. #2
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I wear a bra and nightgown my spouse and I sleep in the same bed

  3. #3
    Once upon a time... Veronica Lacey's Avatar
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    That's great that your wife is good with nocturnal femme wear, Nancy.

    My wife and I have shared enough discussion on this topic to know how we feel about it. Thankfully we sleep together and love doing so. It is one facet of our relationship that we both hope to maintain while also acknowledging that medical concerns could one day alter this (however no reason to believe so at the moment: phew!)

    Having said this...she does not permit me to wear femme attire during sleep, not even panties under male pjs or boxers. I've shared my feelings with her that yes, it gives me a sense of peace and another level of acceptance but she is politely, lovingly firm that no, it's a no go. I will not wish for sleeping separate in order to experience night dressing but should fate ever hand us the need for separate sleeping arrangements then I would quite likely pursue it and she has agreed that she would be ok with it.
    Part-time crossdresser, full-time human

  4. #4
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I?m blessed with a supportive wife. I?m dressed, day and night. She often teases me when I wear my bra and nylons to bed.
    Yes, my getting ready for bed routine is very special, comfortable and relaxing. A great way to end the day.

  5. #5
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I am almost always wearing a nightie or womens satin PJs in a shared bed with my wife. I. In the last year I can only think of one weekend at a friends cabin that I wasn’t wearing womens nightwear while sleeping.
    Rebecca Bas

  6. #6
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    We unfortunately sleep apart due to her medical issues, however we have snuggled and fallen asleep together for a couple of hours while watching a movie, with me in a bra and forms under sweats. No issues there as I don't wear them everyday. I have slept in forms and lingerie, though don't do it often. She knows and is fine with it, and will playfully tease.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Some recent responses to another thread have indicated that some girls do not sleep with their wives/partners (many, sadly, because of various medical conditions).

    I am curious: If you do not sleep with your wife/partner, is it because of your crossdressing?

    Maybe. I’ve never been sure. About the time I started seriously in the marriage (about 15 years ago) was the same time I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and started using a CPAP. She started sleeping in the other room because the PAP was too noisy, so she said. I got several different masks that were quieter, but none of them convinced her to come back to the communal bedroom. From some things she has said subsequently, I think it was the crossdressing.

    If you sleep separately, do you sleep en femme?

    I guess it depends on what you mean. I don’t openly sleep en femme, like in a nightgown. I might under-sleep in a bra, panties or shapewear. In fact when I go out dressed, I return after she is asleep and often sleep in whatever underwear that I went out with, including bra, forms, panties, padded panties and shapewear under my pajamas. She usually goes to church on Sunday morning. I sleep in to give me some alone time to change back into male mode.

    And do you keep this secret from her?

    Under our DADT ground rules, she doesn’t want to see me dressed. So it’s covered under the DT agreement

    If you sleep together, do you wear femme PJs and panties (I do) or a nightie?

    It’s sad, but I can’t remember the last time we slept together, except when we were shared a bed at a hotel. I might have surreptitiously worn panties then knowing that she wouldn’t have come close enough to me to discover that.

    I know some of you will be thinking, “Why do you stay married?” It’s a question that I often ask myself. The best answer that I can come up with is “Inertia”.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post

    It?s sad, but I can?t remember the last time we slept together, except when we were shared a bed at a hotel. I might have surreptitiously worn panties then knowing that she wouldn?t have come close enough to me to discover that.

    I know some of you will be thinking, ?Why do you stay married?? It?s a question that I often ask myself. The best answer that I can come up with is ?Inertia?.
    Steffi, This makes me so sad to read! Must be so lonely for you both. People stay married for many reasons. I have no judgement about that. I do think, though, that we all deserve to experience being loved. :-) Nancy

  9. #9
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    While I would love to wear a nice nightgown to bed I treasure sharing a bed with my wife more so I chose to sleep together over night dressing by myself.

  10. #10
    Member Taylor Dame's Avatar
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    I wear Women's satin pajamas every night and sleep in the same bed as my wife. Other than also wearing panties everyday, we are basically DADT.
    "When you come to a fork in the road, Take it!" - Yogi Berra
    I guess I did!

  11. #11
    Junior Member Andie's Avatar
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    I wear a nightgown to bed with my wife.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Robin777's Avatar
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    When my wife was alive , I always wore a nightgown or nightshirt to bed with her right next to me. Sometimes we would wear matching nightshirts. Once and a while she would let me wear a bra and forms to bed. Since she has passed I find myself wearing forms to bed quite often.

  13. #13
    Member RachelB.'s Avatar
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    We share a bed and I sleep in women's pj's or a gown every night unless we are spending the night with friends or family.

  14. #14
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    My wife and I have a solid relationship in all respects. We do not sleep together, but it has nothing to do with crossdressing. It is due to medical issues (mainly me, but her a bit as well). My crossdressing is no secret to my wife. She is supportive and accepting.

    I don't sleep en femme, but this is because we still have kids at home. I don't want them discovering me crossdressed during the night.

    When we are out of town, we sleep in the same bed in the hotel. Most recently, I slept every night in nightgown and pantyhose. She's fine with that.

  15. #15
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    On any day, weekend, or vacation time that I dress completely as Teresa, I always sleep in frilly chiffon nighties and matching panties next to my wife, who also enjoys frilly nightie and panties. It all started while dating well before we married. We have many matching nighties, robes, and bedroom slippers that we enjoy wearing together. Meeting this need brings us closer together and enhances our intimacy. It's one of our favorite hidden fetish secrets of our very otherwise strait lifestyle.
    Last edited by Teresa.Smith.VA; 01-29-2023 at 10:36 PM. Reason: typo

  16. #16
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    My wife and I sleep together. She wouldn't have it any other way. I have slept wearing stockings, panties, bra, forms, and a nightie every night since 1/1/22. When we're on vacation, wherever we are (motels or friend's/family's homes) I go to bed the same way. I'm not sure she would know how to react if I went to bed any other way. I see no reason to stop at this point. Again, the only boundary is she prefers not to see me with makeup and a wig. I can't see wearing either one to bed, anyway. Makeup would make a mess of the bed linen and I doubt a wig would stay on the entire night. We're in a good place with regard to sleeping arrangements.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  17. #17
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    My Wife of 59 Years sleep together and CDing does not go in the Bedroom,

    I have the rest of the House to dress in,
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  18. #18
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    If I'm having a restless night and can't sleep, or if I'm snoring and keeping her awake, I'll move to the other bedroom, but otherwise we sleep together.
    For me, it's always panties, and nighties every night. She wears PJ's.
    FWIW - my nighties are modest, comfy, knee-length or longer, things - not sheer or "racy." We're both well past those days.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    Our days of intimacy vanished some 18 years ago. I wasn't dressing then, so that wasn't the reason. I do know the reason, but it's not important here.
    There are occasions when I take advantage of knowing she won't roll over and touch me. I'll wear a camisole, silky panties and bra to sleep. She rises very early, so I just need to minimize the possibility of being seen in the morning.

  20. #20
    not new anymore just shy VickieBonne's Avatar
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    We sleep together. Its hard to remember the last time I didn't wear a nightgown to bed.

  21. #21
    Just another 'Gurl'
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    We sleep in the same bed. I don't cross-dress in bed, but my wife would be fine with it I so chose. Every now and then when I am at home alone I will put on an item of women's clothing when I sleep.
    Just another man in a dress

  22. #22
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    My wife and I are one of those couples who sleep apart. She has had so many medical issues attributable, in part, to weight gain that she is constantly in pain. She is probably headed to knee replacement surgery, so the pain issue continues. Me? Shrapnel injury to left shoulder and ulna nerve has me tossing and turning which impacts the stability of the bed. My wife is not a restful sleeper. We retired the same time. I clunk out immediately, while she may roam around and have difficulty falling and staying asleep due to pain. Today, like most days she wants me to awaken her to watch "The View" at 10:00 AM

    Bed attire? As most mornings, today is typical. I am still wearing my night clothes; a white peignoir and white nylon Vanity Fair brief. I rotate through forty+ nighties. Sometimes it is a full slip, bra and panty. Sometimes I wear an ankle length nightie under the full slip, bra and panty. Lately, I have been delving into my wardrobe of dresses and slipping into one over the slip, bra and panty. Considering the many posts I read about wives who are searching out their husband's wardrobe and vocalizing their disapproval I have come to realize being somewhat en femme for nine hours is a lot more than others experience.

  23. #23
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    It has not affected our sleep habits. As a matter of fact it was my wife who initially suggested that I wear a nightgown to bed.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheryl T View Post
    It has not affected our sleep habits. As a matter of fact it was my wife who initially suggested that I wear a nightgown to bed.
    Love this! You are one of the lucky ones!

  25. #25
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    The only times my wife and I sleep apart is when one of us gets a cold. Depending on the time of year, I would sleep in leggings, women's sleep shorts or pants, and a t-shirt. I haven't tried wearing a nightgown to bed for fear of being banished to toe guest room.
    - Robin


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