Larissa, that is a wonderful story. Thanks for passing it on as it is another way to offer hope to all crossdressers who are not as lucky to have such an understanding wife/SO as you have.
Larissa, that is a wonderful story. Thanks for passing it on as it is another way to offer hope to all crossdressers who are not as lucky to have such an understanding wife/SO as you have.
It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.
Congratulations Larissa. I’m very happy to know that this misunderstanding was resolved and lead to a greater advancement on your communication and agreement between you two. I can surely relate to how edgy we may get ‘reading’ signs and quickly attributing them to the wrong motives!
It’s always inspiring to heat about supportive partners! They exist, they are not fantasies!
You know Larisa, initially I thought is was going to be: I threw my stuff out story with the prodigal return times 3. Not there's anything wrong with members returning, purging etc I've read of the years. This story has been a pleasure reading. Thank you and good on you.
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
Thanks for all your kind replies to my post. I've never felt more compassion and support from any other group I've been associated with than I've experienced on this forum.
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Very interesting and you are right. I'm not sure the psychology/psychiatry profession's definition of the trans spectrum is fully developed yet, but the way I understand it, I've concluded that I am indeed on it, somewhere in the middle (going from left to right, on the left end would be someone who under-dresses with panties, sleeps in a nightgown, or maybe uses a little makeup, and on the right end would be someone who has fully medically transitioned and is living as a woman 24/7). But I don't identify as a "trans woman," who I see as very close to the "right end" of the spectrum as I described it. I admire and respect them all, and hope some day society at large will feel the same. (I think Gretchen's post is similar to my assessment of the spectrum. Gretchen, are we on the same wavelength here?)
As for my depression, it was related to both 1 and 2 equally, with the state of our sorry world being an equal 3.
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Thanks for the encouragement Geena (and Steffi too!). I'm still chicken to go out fully dressed, but I went out last week to lunch at Taco Time with my wife and I had bright lavender nail polish on. I was very careful to hide my fingernails at first, but as time went on, I started not caring. There weren't many people there (we ate inside), but I think a couple of people noticed but of course didn't say anything. I'm starting to understand what those of you brave souls write about here when you say it gets easier and better. I will definitely keep you posted!!
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No way I'd ever purge again (been there, done that!), but I can see how you might have thought that from my thread title. I love all my girly stuff and enjoy it so much, and that's what I think of whenever I've been depressed and thought that purging and living "as a man" would solve all my problems. My only problems now are having to hide my crossdressing from everyone but my lovely wife. Maybe that will change some day, but I'm not getting any younger (70 this year) so maybe this is it, so I'll make the best of it.
Last edited by Larissa Cassandra; 02-03-2023 at 04:08 PM.
Larissa, that is a great story/// thanks for sharing. The thought of just giving your stuff away... dont do it. my therapist said to me [ when i was right where you were ] When u need her she will be there meaning [ me as niki ] ...when my wife sees the depression she immediately says to go get changed and get yourself right... Good for you and your loving wife.... hugs.... niki
Larissa congratulations on talking with your wonderful wife and getting things strainghtened out so you can continue to be yourself. There is something going on in Kansas City the middle of the month that, as of right now I plannong on going to as Diane. Of course I'll drive up there and check into the motel in male mode but will let Diane dress the way she feels before going to the event. Stil trying to decide between wearing a Covid-19 mask, to over the beard, or just shave it off. Will have to decide but have a couple weeks yet.
Again confratulations and glad to hear that you have such a loving ans supportive wife. Cherish her, she is a rare jewel.
Thank you, Diane. I agree that my wife is a rare jewel and I'm lucky to have found her after my first marriage ended over 20 years ago. Have fun at your event in KC. I know you didn't ask, but I would vote to shave the beard. Not sure how long you've had it, but if you don't like your smooth face you can always grow it back fairly quickly - as opposed to long hair, which takes years to grow back. I'm thinking about going to an event in May in Washington State. It would be my first time meeting other CDers in person, or being out in public in full Larissa mode, so I'm a little nervous about it. Anyway, if I do go I'll post about it here. Hope you do the same!
Great to hear you and your wife have come to a loving understanding. I keep praying for this with my relationship!
Thanks, Jade. So are you close to coming out, or DADT (or worse)? Maybe it's time to have "the talk."
Larissa, A wise therapist taught me this about depression: Depression is the result of an imbalance between emotional depletion and emotional replenishment. Imagining that we are not loved or accepted for who we are, obviously, is tremendously emotionally depleting. On the other hand, experiencing love, understanding, and acceptance is replenishing. Connection is replenishing, isolation is depleting. Gender dysphoria is depleting, freedom to express our true gender is replenishing.
Crazy thing is that when we are depressed we often do things that keep us depressed: isolate, become self critical, engage in destructive and relationship damaging behaviors, etc.
So glad you talked with your wife. My wife makes my life so much better! Nancy
Last edited by NancyJ; 02-05-2023 at 04:23 PM.
This really is such great news. So happy for you.
Thanks, Nancy and Margret.
Nancy - I really appreciate your thoughtful and uplifting posts! The love, understanding, and acceptance I get on this forum are indeed replenishing, and are a great help in reducing or preventing my bouts of depression. And I'm very happy to hear that you also have an understanding and supportive wife.
(BTW, my depression is really mild compared to those unfortunate people who might spend days at a time in bed or not going anywhere, crying a lot, etc. My depression is just hours or a day at a time, and I force myself to get out of the house or at least do something productive and not get into a quagmire of sadness.)
Last edited by Jade P; 02-05-2023 at 06:05 PM.
Jade, I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like a terrible situation. I'm glad you're at least friends with your wife, but after 5 years, it may be time to part ways. But first, counseling might help.
awww thats really good to hear. I hope i someone like that in my lifetime!