CD's: Do u, "Dress to blend so no one notices me." Why?

[MonicaPVD]

Most working poor and middle class women in the continental United States of America dress like they rolled out of bed a half hour ago. Fact. Which is why a CD dressed to the nines sticks out like a sore thumb. Go to the mall, to Target, to Walmart and try to find a woman wearing heels. I DARE YOU. GOOD LUCK.

Most of the younger women where I live, Krisi, in SoCal, tend to dress in loose, unflattering, sloppy outfits. I would never enjoy going out dressed like that!

Can we at least agree that dressing to blend means wearing clothes that don't flatter a woman's, or trans, sexy fem figure?

[Jazzmin]

Can we at least agree that dressing to blend means wearing clothes that don't flatter a woman's, or trans, sexy fem figure?

No. You are trying to re-define a term that has already been defined.

YOU choose to stand out, above and beyond the norm. Good for you, enjoy! But, despite your opinion, 'dressing to blend', does NOT mean to dress slovenly. Yes, I agree that many folk, both male & female, dress poorly; that is on them, for lacking in any kind of self-respect (IMO).

To each their own.

[Krisi]

Most of the younger women where I live, Krisi, in SoCal, tend to dress in loose, unflattering, sloppy outfits. I would never enjoy going out dressed like that!

Can we at least agree that dressing to blend means wearing clothes that don't flatter a woman's, or trans, sexy fem figure?

No. "Dressing to blend" means dressing as a woman would dress for the time and place. Few women get all dolled up to go to the grocery store or shop. Many women, of course, are working jobs that require practical attire.

If a woman is strutting around in a short, tight fitting dress and high heels at the grocery store, she is not dressing to blend. Same for a crossdresser.

[Joanne108]

I dress to blend in because I love the way women look. I like the day to day look that some women wear at work. I am not trying to blend in it is the style I like.

[ellbee]

"Dressing to blend" means dressing the way real women dress for the time and place. Nothing more, nothing less.

Quick little real-world example?


The other day I decided to go for a walk around my apartment complex & then further out into the surrounding neighborhood. I was already wearing a full women's outfit. As a guy (no wig/makeup/fake boobs/etc.).

Did I mention this was in broad daylight during the afternoon?


Anyway, I've kind of found & settled into my cold-weather styles. For my walk? Leggings, running shoes, hoodie, fitted femmy puffer-coat, winter hat.

Yeah, pretty much look like a GG from below the neck, more or less, with no padding or anything, mind you. Hat & hood take care of the rest.

Basic-Bitch, Winter Edition!


And during this walk of mine, I saw/passed by a total of 4 GG's smiling, saying hi -- all wearing, guess what? An outfit similar to mine!

They knew I was a guy. And they knew what I was wearing.


Aside from perhaps a very brief, "Oh, wait... That's a biological male!" look on their face? They truly didn't outwardly care.

Now, whether the pair who was together might have briefly discussed me afterwards, once I was out of ear-shot? Who knows, who cares. Hopefully something positive, anyway?



Bottom line? They didn't care. One reason being? I looked "normal." I didn't look out of place. Heck, they were wearing & doing pretty much the same thing!

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u for that excellent example, Elbee. As u explained, u were not dressed very fem and neither do the women where u live. And, pretty much like Krisi does, u seem quite content to dress that way. And, much like most trans, others here appear to also.

But, that's a big difference between trans and CD's and a point of my thread. Trans r quite happy to simply present in women's clothing because they r complelled to.

While I and many other CDs don't see the point in dressing at all if we can't see an overtly attractive, fem, woman in our mirror!
Which is why I find "dressing to blend" the way u and Krisi defined it so distasteful!

[ellbee]

Well, I suppose sometimes femininity can be in the eye of the beholder?

Personally, I consider all 5 of us walkers to have looked feminine that day -- with me coming in last place, obviously.

Still got a participation trophy, though!


Keep in mind, these are real-world GG's (and me! ) who are actively doing something physical as part of their regular everyday lives. There are practical & also aesthetic reasons why we wear what we do. The outfit has a specific purpose, assigned to the task at hand.


Remember, femininity comes in many wonderful flavors!

[Krisi]

Thank u for that excellent example, Elbee. As u explained, u were not dressed very fem and neither do the women where u live. And, pretty much like Krisi does, u seem quite content to dress that way. And, much like most trans, others here appear to also.

But, that's a big difference between trans and CD's and a point of my thread. Trans r quite happy to simply present in women's clothing because they r complelled to.

While I and many other CDs don't see the point in dressing at all if we can't see an overtly attractive, fem, woman in our mirror!
Which is why I find "dressing to blend" the way u and Krisi defined it so distasteful!

I have tried to explain to you that dressing to blend doesn't mean that one is "trans". Please try to understand that.

As for dressing to blend being "distasteful", that's a bit hard for me to understand, but I have no control over your tastes. I do think you should try to be more tolerant of how others do their crossdressing. I would say wearing a full body suit and a mask is in the minority here, but I understand that this is your way of crossdressing and it's OK with me.

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u for correcting me, Krisi! Altho, I'm not exactly sure what u think I said wrong?

Now, I need to correct u! While I wear a large array of various breast appliances when out, I only wear full suits at home for photos and out to costume events like Halloween!

And, I rarely ever wear masks during my regular outings. Except for a few minutes to take photos. Unfortunately, most T's r as mask phobic as Muggles r!

Altho, I WOULD wear masks everywhere if I could. Because for me they r like make up and wig to regular CD's!

[Jazzmin]

I'm finding it hilariously ironic that someone who is so critical and disdainful of the way that others present in public, gets so very defensive when her choice of dress is called out!

I get that many CD's are flamboyant and extroverted, and I really don't have issue with it, enjoy the rush! What I don't understand is why they get their knickers in a twist, because other folk prefer other forms of presentation.

It's really rather simple: Some CD's just want to experience being women in day-to-day life; and some want to project their idea of the 'perfect woman' or be the center of attention.

It's all good, whatever floats your boat.

[Melanie Sykes]

But, if u identify as a CD and a long time dresser? What's the thrill of dressing in plain, homely, clothes u don't feel pretty in when u go out?

Ok, trans do this because they r women inside and dress as women all the time. I totally get that. But, what about us MIAD's? CD's don't need to dress up all the time.

I dress to look good! So, dressing to blend is like a root canal!
As I have no compulsion to dress every day I much prefer to visit vanilla venues in drab. No hassles, embarrassing situations, or distractions!

Can u CD's who don't identify as females explain why u feel the need to go out dressed everywhere yet don't want anyone to notice u?

Good question Doc :-) I dress for the way it makes me *feel*, not the way I look, which is lucky because when dressed I'll always look faintly ridiculous with my height, broad shoulders, big hands and no waist. A big part of my motivation is the tactile and taboo nature of women's clothing: I want to feel what a woman feels in her clothes when she goes about her daily business. As a man, I'll never know how it feels to *be* a woman, but I can feel a skirt blowing around my legs in the breeze, the tight hug of a bra, or the cool around my ankles in a pair of cropped jeans. I happen to be of the opinion that men have the beauty of a cardboard box while, in contrast, women are beautiful in whatever they're wearing (I suppose there are *some* limits). So, whilst I prefer to wear smart, pretty clothes, I don't have to be dressed up like Cinderella to thoroughly enjoy myself when dressed. I'm just as happy to be in a smart pair of flat loafers as I am to be in a pair of black patent heels.

This all means that the majority of the times I venture out in public I enjoy myself for what I'm wearing and feeling, not because of any attention it may bring. I don't like attention when in fem mode, especially these days when attention is closely followed by a smartphone camera. Most of the time I aim for "well put together", but not standing out in any way. At 6'5" this means heels are a no-no unless I'm feeling particularly hedonistic.

In sum, give me femme clothing *any* time rather than drab, even if it is just jeans, flats and a plain top. Being able to have that wonderful feeling while not being stared at is a very good return on my emotional investment.

[Ressie]

I guess I'm somewhere in between. I always wear a blonde wig which gets attention but that isn't my intent. I'll probably wear denim pants this weekend just because it's gonna be too cold to wear a dress or skirt. It's not a matter of blending, yet I'm not trying to get tons of attention either. Some of my friends wear shorter skirts or glam out more than I do. It's a matter of what one is comfortable with IMO.

[docrobbysherry]

Melanie, thanks for explaining so well! Not only does that help me understand why u dress the way u do? That even tho we dress differently, I can relate to much of what u said.
I think we ALL enjoy the very different feel of women's clothes.

And, u and I both dislike the unwanted attention we draw when dressed. Me so much I stopped dressing to vanilla venues altogether!