Hi all,
I know I am not much of a poster here, but...
Yes, yes I am still a still quasi in the closet, and I expect to get an earful. But I am curious. Are there any closet cases like me here? Or I an anomaly?
Thanks, Brenda
Hi all,
I know I am not much of a poster here, but...
Yes, yes I am still a still quasi in the closet, and I expect to get an earful. But I am curious. Are there any closet cases like me here? Or I an anomaly?
Thanks, Brenda
I suspect most here are like you - quasi closeted. But a lot are out of the closet completely while still others are still deep in the closet. The variation is probably caused by a combination of choices based on fear, shame, or simply their personal circumstances. I am in the personal circumstances crowd. But some who have more favorable circumstances and have moved beyond the fear factor go out completely. We are all different.
Except for my friends here I am totally still in the closet. I have never admitted my cross dressing to anyone that I know. Now, I obviously admitted my cross dressing to a sales associate when I tried on and purchased a dress at Dress Barn but I used a pseudonym and paid in cash. And I am sure that other sales associates have guessed when I told them I was looking for a size 42 bra with an A cup or size 7 panties. But beyond that, yes, I am very much in the closet. Early in my marriage, I tried to tes my wife?s attitude about crossdressing by pitting on a pair of her panties and while wearing a bathrobe, I would flash her and flirting ly say ? Is this what I have to do to get into your pants?? She shrieked ?Take those off?. I never pushed the issue after that.
I guess I would be considered locked away in a closet -- no one (including spouse) who knows me drab knows anything about Geena. That being said, however, I also have a secret exit from the closet. For almost the last two years, as I settle the estate, I have been using my father's vacant house as a base for Geena outings, or even just dress up times. Although I know that this arrangement is temporary, I have been taking advantage of it in the mean time.
www.flickr.com/people/196660660@N08/
YOU are not alone. Lotsa people here, like me, are still "in the closet". Many of us do not find a "need" to "show off" who /what we are. Or we do not want to face the "hassle", potential for abuse, embarrassment, or social life disruptions "exposure" could cause. It is "worth it" to stay "closeted". Crossdressers come in several varieties. Many don't care who knows, others "get off" by revealing themselves publicly, or "being able to get away with it" and fooling people. We are NOT ALL like that. Us closeted types are perfectly happy by ourselves and free to do whatever we want in private. Indeed it also opens up other variants, like "fantasy" and "retro" we couldn't get away with publicly. I personally like to see and photograph different looks and experiment with disguise and makeups. I have quite a bit of fun. This site is all I need to express what, if any "public" aspects I wish to express---and not feel "isolated".
Hi Brenda,
I guess you could say I'm quasi closeted. I'm out to my wife and kids as well as a few friends.i would be out completely and likely be on a transition path but my wife wouldn't be onboard at this time. Since I love her and truly value our relationship the closet door remains ajar, not thrown wide open.
Elizabeth
I would say that I have one foot in the closet, and one foot out. I do wear female underwear in public when I am not fully en femme, but once in a while I may want to go out dressed up. I am in need of a haircut, and am contemplating ditching the wig and getting a female hairstyle.
Closeted? Yes. Except my wife knows, of course. I respect her boundaries, but she is quite accustomed to seeing me in panties, panty girdles, and feminine pajamas. And I do housework chores wearing a very femme apron :-). Nancy
My wife knows along with My Mom, My daughter, and my daughter's girlfriend. I have also talked to a counselor and had some conversations with various people I have purchased goods and services from. I have never left the house fully en femme but I am moving in that direction.
We can only achieve what we dare to reach for.
I agree with Krisi. How would we know if we dress like u when u haven't told us yet?
I consider myself a closet dresser even tho I go out dressed nearly every month and have attended countless T events around the country for 15 years!
But, I NEVER go out dressed near my home town and only my immediate family, (and 100's of people that only know my fem side), know about Sherry!
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 02-09-2023 at 11:20 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Like so much of crossdressing the in versus out of the closet seems to a be a big spectrum and can mean different things to different people. Personally I think totally in the closet means it is an absolute secret and no one knows anything about it including spouses or online friends. Many, many, years ago that was me until my wife discovered some Danielle stuff hidden away. It then became a DADT situation which I guess means I was teeny bit out of the closet. I became a little further out of the closet when I joined this forum to share Danielle's experiences and through the forum I have found some very close email friends I share everything with. As you know from recent photo posts about fashion shows for my wife her acceptance in seeing Danielle in person means I have come out of the closet even a bit further. For me being totally out of the closet would mean family and friends knew about Danielle and I was comfortable being out in public as Danielle. Both of those things are not of personal interest to me and not something I have a need to add to my Danielle experience which is satisfying enough with how much out of the closet I am.
Well, I mean, one could argue that if you're 100% out? Aren't you kind of transitioned socially, anyway?
In which case, might as well just get HRT at that point.
If you're still in the closet with some person(s), then who cares? Fairly typical, I'd say.
I'm not out to a decent swath of my life (though quite a few would not be surprised in the least!). Also, a (non-SO) segment where it's basically DADT.
Meanwhile, I'm busy over here gaining the reputation of "The Neighborhood Tranny"!
I've been loving it, though.
Closets are for hanging clothes in. I'm out. I don't walk up to people and say "Hi I'm a cross dresser" but I don't hide the fact, if you did a search of me you'd find a couple of pictures of me all dolled up. It's so much easier this way than hiding and worrying about someone finding out and using that information against you. But that is my choice and it works for me. Everyone has to make their own dissensions on what works for them and what they feel comfortable with.
Peace & Love
Gerri
Hi Brenda, I was out to my late mother. No w back in the closet due to wifes non acceptance. I agree with Marina and Gretchen depends upon one?s circumstances. I would like to do more but limited due to family constraints.
I?ve definitely got both feet in the closet! I haven?t told anyone about my cross dressing I?ve brought the subject up a few times with my partner but it gets shut down immediately so the closet door will stay firmly shut.
I am in the closet. My wife knows but is not accepting.
I do underdress every day, though. Panties every day and bras as often as I can. Occasionally I add pantyhose. All outwear is male.
What is your definition of "in the closet"?
My wife knows, but nobody else. I sometimes go out in public, but I don't leave the house or return dressed. People where I go see me (hopefully, they see a woman, not a crossdresser), but they don't know me.
Krisi
Well, there is "out of the closet" and then there is "OUT OF THE CLOSET". Myself, I'm out to my wife, a GG friend, a couple of sales agents at Sephora, and the members of the group I go to.
Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.
I think the term, Out of the closet, means different things to different people. I am Out of the closet to my wife but nobody else.
Just like no two of us are alike no two would have the same meaning of that particular phrase
Crissy
To understand your question better, I'm curious why would want you to know? Obviously not every member is going to respond to your post. Thx ��
Last edited by mbmeen12; 02-10-2023 at 02:54 AM. Reason: Typo
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
The only people who know about my crossdressing are my partner, psychotherapist and mental health worker who are all women. Nobody male knows of my crossdressing.
My partner is very supportive with me crossdressing and both my psychotherapist and mental health worker say there is nothing wrong with it.
Last edited by DrFishnets; 02-10-2023 at 02:22 AM.
Sheer black nylons and fishnets are my passion.
Stella a.k.a DrFishnets. xxx
Hi Brenda. This site appears to serve a wide variety of people, some much like you. For me, only my wife and my ex have ever seen me dressed, and only at home. On the other hand my ex outed me to all family and friends, and a few of them now treat me differently as a result. . . . vale
My wife know. My therapist knows. A very few people have seen me going to and from therapy sessions dressed androgynously. But, I definitely would consider myself to be in the closet.
I might be the only one in the world who is normal!
Hmmm ... wait a minute ... ;-)
- Suz
Last edited by char GG; 02-10-2023 at 05:12 PM. Reason: No need to quote the post directly before yours
Thank you all so much for your honest comments. I realize that some people on this planet fall into all of the norms, thus "normal". I guess I was just getting worried that I was somehow being left behind here too. So many gatherings, so many adventures, so many stories; when did I put on the breaks, why don't I have any stories? Self confidence is not one of my superpowers. Again, thank you all so much! I'm just happy to see that I am still on the bell-curve. Brenda
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