There's a recent thread in which someone wished to go on a company trip.
Umm...Originally Posted by BustyOlivia
I've never told anyone this, but I can trust all you girls, right. Right?
One time I "concocted" an out of town, overnight "company trip", except it wasn't for my company.
I went to an out-of-town business to get a makeover and photo shoot.
The makeover was the best money that I ever spent.
It was logistically difficult, but not impossible. You just need to think outside the box.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
The trick to a successful phantom company trip is being able to pay for expenses in a way that she cannot trace. If you're fully transparent about your household finances, that poses a challenge. Also, you have to be ok with lying to her. Since I am a terrible person, I don't have a problem with either. 😂
Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
I love makeovers too, but am glad I don't need to resort to deception to get one. Doing it like that might be still a thrill, but it would put a considerable damper on the whole thing for me.
As long as you can live with it and don't get caught, good for you, I guess.
When haters hate, I celebrate!
Most partners seem more upset about hiding than dressing - so it might be wise to be cautious about trying this
Steffi, As you know, I don't have to hide my dressing from my wife. However, I did from my ex-wife and admittedly went out of town on business several times to have some Jamie time.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I did that once in the long ago past.
It wasn't a trip though it was to go to a hockey game with the guys in a distant city. Of course we had to stay over.
I don't do that anymore though.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Like cash, maybe, that I saved from my "discretionary 'allowance'". Or Visa gift card, bought with cash?
I think at the time I had a company travel card which was off the books from household finances. That also made it invisible. I don't have a company travel card, but I wonder if I could concoct one?
BTW, Monica. You're not a terrible person. You sound like a very good person trying to accommodate somewhat terrible circumstances. IMHO
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
My wife and kids never even considered traveling with me on my business trips!
Of course, in those days my dressing was just beginning. And, I never ever considered going out of my motel room dressed!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
My wife wouldn't come to any of my business trips, but my issue is instead that I would need to get my outfit into my car, along with my makeup, brushes etc. It's just not happening. The best I can hope for is an overnight sleep in a nightdress.
I've made fake company trips a couple of times so that I could get some extended time to dress. The longest was three days away, which was a "training course". I'm not proud of it, but I felt I just had to do it. Since then, I've actually had a 4-day trip away to an airbnb on my own with the acceptance of my wife, so I'm hoping to make similar arrangements in the future and not to have to pull the fake trip stunt again.
Pulling off these trips took a lot of planning for a long time in advance. What outfits to take, and how you're going to get them out of the house and back in at the end of the trip are the main things. I used to make copious notes in text files. Sometimes I used the garage as a staging area, and I'd move things there in a spare suitcase the day before I was leaving to make it easier (stealthier) to get it into the car the next day. As a result I'd end up with two suitcases in the car, a "boy" case - which my wife had seen me pack - and a "girl" case. The "boy" case usually never left the car until I came home. As Sometimes Steffi said, you've got to think out of the box. I enjoy the planning and execution, but didn't enjoy the deceit one bit. I say "enjoy" in the present tense because although I got the blessing of my wife to go on the last trip - and she knew its true purpose - she doesn't want to be explicitly reminded of it or to see any of my stuff. So, stealth is still the name of the game to some degree.
Money for these trips isn't an issue because I have a current account just for me. We call it my "little" account. A small amount of money gets transferred into there each month from our main account, and I use it for whatever I want, no questions asked, and she doesn't have (or want) access to look at the account. We've had this arrangement since we got married, well before my dressing became a noticeable cost factor. I could take money from the main joint account if I really needed of course, but I always plan my trips carefully to be within my own personal budget. Same goes for all my CDing purchasing needs - it all comes out of that account, and helps put the brakes on the Pink Fog before it can affect the household finances. I'm well aware that the more I spend on clothes, the less I'll have to spend on my trips, or the longer I'll have to postpone the next trip in order to save up.
I found it easiest to UPS a box, with all my Monica gear in it, to the hotel it a day or two ahead of my arrival. It's also nice to have all my gear waiting for me upon check-in. No worries about packing, extra luggage, TSA, etc. At the end of the trip, have the hotel's concierge send the box back to your address of choice. In my case, that's usually my office. Totally worth the cost of round trip shipping.
Last edited by MonicaPVD; 02-15-2023 at 09:21 AM.
I sure hope someone didn't get dresses instead of golf clubs.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
This is the same sort of deception that happens when people take "fake" company trips to be with their girlfriend or boyfriend. I would be very careful trying something like this, because if a wife finds out about it, she is going to assume that you were meeting up with a female.
Hiding your dressing is one thing, but I think fake company trips is a bit over the line.
What happens if you have an accident? Have a medical problem? Are a victim of a crime?
Krisi
Deception is deception is deception. What if...? We will cross that bridge when we get there.
I miss those company trips. Think I worked for an extra 5 years just to keep them going. Looking back, I should have just kept working!
Sadly, I am quite deceptive. I have cover stories for my Geena excursions since my spouse doesn't know about Geena and my 'peculiar pastime.' I do have limits, though. She knows generally where I am going and roughly when I will be back, and that I am meeting with friends. I wouldn't feel right about claiming a company trip, or a civil war outing, when I'm actually doing a Geena weekend. That's beyond the financial deception. Like I said, I have limits.
www.flickr.com/people/196660660@N08/
There was a time before my daughter moved back into the basement when my wife was out of town a lot. I used to go out socially with the girls to bars, restaurants, etc.
When she returned, I wanted to continue my outings. I told my wife that I was going out "with the guys", which was technically true, except all "the guys" were wearing dresses, including me. I dressed and returned to male mode in the car.
I don't know if she really bought "the story" or not. I eventually told her the truth, because I was tired of the lies. She didn't like it, but she tolerated it. She let me continue to "go out with friends".
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
I like Karren miss those overnight business trips without them I would not have ventured out dressed in public. Occasionally I will reflect back on my girl outings during those trips it truly was a very exciting time.
I didn't have to hide it from my wife, but I went out of town about once a month for years. Not only were those trips wife-approved, she was the one who first suggested it. I also traveled overnight for work (legitimately), and I'd always add at least a day and sometimes dress in the evenings. If I had just been a regular guy at home and saved all the girl aspect for a an out of town "transformation", I think that would have been a pretty satisfactory working arrangement for both of us. But, as many of us are prone to do, my "feminine side" took over and it became more about feminizing my every day appearance as much as I could get away with, and I was rather obsessive about it and had no idea where to stop.
I'm not sure I'd want to read any replies from any GG's here!
Anyway, they could put it way better than me, to say the least, LOL, but I will say this much...
Probably not a cool thing to do. Maybe even a wrong thing to do?
However, I have done (and still do?) things in my life where others could easily say the same thing, and they'd probably have a decent point, admittedly. So, you know...
Regardless: Just my 2 cents, but probably not a model to aspire to.
Perhaps your wife has figured things out and is happy to play along to get a day or two away from you. Deception works both ways.
Speaking of crossing the bridge when we come to it, I had the following phone conversation with my wife five years ago.
Wife. Hello, how are you doing this evening?
Me. Could be better. I took up residence in the largest coronary unit in LA this afternoon?
Getting my girl luggage back to my storage unit undetected took some imagination, to say the least.
For many years, I took more business trips than Abby could handle. Wife despises travel and will only do it only if our forty something daughter comes along. Grand total of two such trips in nearly fifty years. With my business trips, I always stay two or three extra days on my own nickel. My company piles on extra paperwork as a punishment if I stay extra days but I plow through it anyway and enjoy my Abby time. Since covid, Zoom has replaced many of my business trips. They have become no longer enough for growing the business or for Abby. But I pack more into those that I do take. And I now take some trips just for Abby.
How comforting to believe that this kind of behaviour does not constitute cheating in one's marriage or relationship!
Well, I think it does.
I have 2 short trips planned for early April and late April (Honor Flights to D.C.) that will require me to be overnight 2 nights each. My wife has a 4 night/5 day trip planned for mid-March (girls' trip) and a 7 night/8 day trip planned for late April (wedding). I can see a lot of Heather time in my near future. I feel fortunate I won't have to concoct any stories. While I won't offer any Heather details to my wife, if she were to ask if I did any dressing, I'll certainly tell her. The fact of the matter is my wife isn't stupid and I'm sure she knows I'll be dressing up while she's gone and while I'm gone.
It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.
Well, I'm not going to sit in judgment of MonicaPVD. All of us have our circumstances. Monica may know very well that telling her spouse will almost certainly kill the marriage, and there may be dramatic reasons why this would be incredibly bad. For some divorce is an option. For others, it just isn't. I know of several members here who are in very bad marriages but remain in them for reasons other than the relationship itself.
Is lying to your spouse ideal? Of course not. Does it undermine relationships? Of course it does. But, our circumstances may dictate this is the best possible way forward.
Being a crossdresser is a massive burden. My wife knows about and supports my crossdressing, and has since a few months into dating. But, crossdressing is still a massive burden. My kids do not know. I routinely have to obfuscate (which most emphatically is a form of lying) to my children. Recently, I had to stop one of my kids from borrowing a car until I had a chance to remove some femme clothes from it. Kid wanted to know why the delay, and I couldn't answer. This is routine, and the obfuscation is constantly happening. If my children were to find out about my crossdressing, they will know that I've been actively lying to them for their entire lives. While I'm not lying to my wife, I am lying to my family. Does this make me a bad person? Probably. But, what option do I have? I'm trying to do the best I can for my kids. In this case, that means lying.
Monica's situation is Monica's situation. I refuse to sit in judgment. I could wish for a happier life for her, but I won't judge.
You appear to be confused. I am not judging Monica (or Steffi, for that matter).
Monica uses the word "deception" three times in her post. She is judging Steffi.
I am saying that "deception" sounds a lot less cruel than "cheating".
We have become comfortably numb.
(Pink Floyd)
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