Life can be complicated. I wouldn't judge someone else's life choices any more than I would judge their choice of outfit. You do you. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have an understanding or tolerant spouse, or to be in a position to walk away from a marriage and start a whole new life. You do you and I'll do me. Everyone's happy.
According to "Mr. Google", these are the 10 most common types of cheating
Going on a contrived business trip is not included.
Since I use personal funds, not joint marital funds, it doesn't even count as financial cheating.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Lying, sneaking around, deceiving, hiding costs and money? Gee, what could go wrong?
That kind of activity just adds another level on to the weak house of cards.
Being in a strong successful marriage requires absolute honesty and trust, period.
P.S. if you find yourself in a divorce your wife can and will find these posts that live permanently on the internet. Every post I made on this site from 2009 to 2011 under an earlier identity became evidence exhibits in my divorce.
It's actually #11 on the list, Steffi, which is why you missed it.Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi
You are very often economical with the truth.
This is a statement of fact, not necessarily a criticism.
Feel free to be offended by the truth.
All of my business trips are legit, so I never need a fake trip to go out crossdressed. Of course if my SO knew of my extracurricular activities when away from home, it would not go over so well. Both are in the deceitful department. True enough. It is obvious. Why is it so necessary to point that out.
I usually avoid threads like this one because someone with an accepting SO or already divorced invariably has to point out others faults. Not everyone can obtain a utopian compromise, so we deal with it in less than optimal ways sometimes. Maybe the fake business trip could help someone cope. It is not my place to judge them. None of us are perfect.
Sandi
True enough, Sandi. Not fair for any of us to judge anyone, for sure. A majority of the feedback does not seem so much meant to be judge mental as cautionary and advocating for open and direct communication.
As someone who has felt strong urges to crossdress and significant gender dysphoria since an early age, I know that my urges would become overwhelming if I felt that I had no outlet. As I have written about before on this forum, some of the most difficult conflicts in my marriage have been about crossdressing. Fortunately, we have come to an agreement that suits us both. I know that makes me one of the lucky ones, and I will give her credit for that.
The thing that worries me (makes me cringe) about these stories of deception is the risk of it blowing up. The cost of discovery just seems so great. I guess that says a lot about how strong the urge is?
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