More trouble than its worth

[Debbie Denier]

Not been on the forum lately due to building work at my home and a short holiday. I must have moved my stash so many times I have lost count due to the work . My past has been well documented on here. Unaccepting wife . Accepting late mother. I am starting to wonder if dressing is more trouble than its worth . I have become tired and wary of moving things around. Never have any time to dress these days or time to myself.2 daughters in 20s still at home. Seem to have lost my enthusiasm. It has happened before. But never have I felt so frustrated or uninterested. Wonder if this has happened to others on here. Interested to hear your comments.

[Georgina]

It has never happened to me but I would advise you to keep your stash as some day your enthusiasm will return.

[Aunt Kelly]

You are the only one who can decide if it's worth the hassle.

Oh, and whatever you decide, don't get rid of your "stash".

[Christie ann]

I can relate. I have not purged but have paired down to the stuff I really like since I can never wear it anyway. It is easier to move around when the need arises. It had been so long since I got the make up out I was concerned about mold and the wig in the crawl space had a literal spiders nest in my carefully packaged container. So, I have a skirt, a dress, a couple of compatible tops and some appropriate underwear. I figure if the day comes where I can go out, I can get some foundation and mascara at Target. I kept my favorite lip stuff! I have a chance to go to the big city soon and am thinking about a wig. Nothing elaborate just something at the costume store that looks good.

Yes sometimes it feels more trouble than it’s worth, but I know it’s not going to go away and I know that someday the stars will re align and Christie will be out and about again.

The worst part is the constant pink fog looking at all those ads for great dresses.

[Geena75]

You sound like what I'm heading into, but instead of an unaccepting wife I have one who doesn't know. Also have two daughters at home (twins in my case) in their 20's. I am already thinking of secure ways to stash my stuff. I'm hoping that indulging in as much Geena time as I can over this winter will keep me satisfied for a while, that and the surge of things to do as spring gets going.

[Maria 60]

From past experience myself, when I do any home renovation or alterations I seem to not notice but I burn out. When I burn out I don't realize but every little thing becomes a big deal. My wife usally is the one who picks up on my burning out and she will recommend I take a few days to recharge. When I'm feeling good I could take on the world but when I'm tierd even a ant hill is to hard to climb. I'm just giving my insight of what happens to me when I have that same feeling as I'm reading about you. Hopefully you will get a break soon and recharge those amazing fem feelings.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I am always Ready to Dress

[Heather76]

I'm kind of the opposite as no matter how much trouble it is, I find dressing is always worth the effort.

[mbmeen12]

I had an appraiser do a home interior inspection yesterday, and I was full drab. makeup in plain sight etc etc...My girlfriend lives with me so no big deal. But I'd see were someone who didn't have that alibi would be tough.

[Debs]

Hang on i there Debbie Denier, your time will come

[Rachelakld]

it can be more trouble than its worth, unaccepting wife, busy life. I remember going cold turkey for about 8 years. The nice thing now, it's not as expensive to re-start, wigs were expensive, breast forms didn't exist commercially but only available via hospital specialists.
Just keep busy, maybe get a distracting hobby and come back when the time is better.
Good mothers always accept their children, I was surprised when mine folded my undies, bra and stocking nicely after she washed my clothes on one of my visits home - I don't fold stuff.

[Crissy 107]

You may feel that way right now but as we all know the desire will reappear, it always does.

[GretchenM]

Yes, Debbie, I experience that decline in interest in dressing in a seasonal pattern. In the winter I don't have much interest, but in the summer with balmy nights I am much more interested in dressing and going out to our private pergola in our garden to enjoy the evening with a glass of wine or two. I get very euphoric during that time, with or without the wine. I feel very female-liike in so many ways at that time.

My wife is away for a few days and I have an opportunity to do what I want. Had great plans. But when the alone time came I had no interest or motivation. I have never been able to pin anything down that would explain this lack of interest even though the female-like sense is still there. Weird.

As Crissy said, the desire to dress will return at some point and I have found it to be pretty unpredictable. In your situation, I suspect all the disruption in your life may have a lot to do with your lack of interest. That disruption can cause frustration, a lack of interest in trying to live a more normal life, and a lack of enthusiasm. But there is probably a lot more to it than that. There often is. But I would bet that as soon as life turns to a more normal style the desire will come roaring back. Very slim chances that it will never appear again. It is part of who you are and even though it may change, the fundamentals return.

[April Rose]

Have you thought about using a storage locker, short term, until the construction is over? That would at least take care of the hassle of shifting stuff around.

[Genifer Teal]

My first online lesson was The Purge is never a good idea. Yeah even the movie. Couldn't resist the connection.

[NancySue]

I join the Don?t Purge group. Life is in phases. Have patience. Guaranteed, the pink fog is never gone and always returns.

[Jasmine23]

I've often felt that it's too much trouble, but, then I dress up and I instantly change my mind and can't wait to dress up again. I have a bittersweet relationship with dressing up, can't live with it, but, can't live without it either, it's frustrating at times and I wish I didn't have this need to dress up, but, I always end up coming back to it and it always feels great when I'm dressed. As others have said don't purge, you'll regret it if you do.

Your post does raise an interesting question, has anyone ever stopped dressing up completely or do we all eventually find our way back to it?

[Fiona_44]

As many have said, do not purge. Circumstances change, the urge will return one of these days.

[ellbee]

I once didn't dress (as an adult) for like 5 years or something?


Didn't own a stitch of women's stuff. Had absolutely no desire to dress -- despite every opportunity to do so! (Think: Childless bachelor living alone. )



Fast-forward many moons...?

As part of a pretty well-rounded women's wardrobe, I now own like 300 pairs of leggings (estimated), no joke.


I also regularly wear skirts & tights. In guy-mode. Around my neighborhood. While interacting with people.


So, figure that one out!

[abby054]

Give it a rest if it is not enjoyable. I did. Twice. There is nothing wrong with resting for a while. In 1982, I had the same situation you do with wife and toddler daughter. I needed the focus to get my life on track, so I did my only purge. I only lost about US200 dollars. Meanwhile, I took up a hobby, gardening, with the specific intent to distract from crossdressing. It took seventeen years to get my life figured out. When I started again, I had your identical situation, wife and twenty something daughter. I tried dressing for four years in my home. That did not work. There was no way to hide my stuff securely because wife and daughter disapproved strongly. After a disaster where they went on a search and destroy mission throughout the house while I was at work one day, I moved what survived to a heated/cooled storage unit where it still resides, somewhat expanded and improved 20 years later. I dress there in peace from time to time. I pay in cash. The manager has no doubt figured it out but he seems to like the steady income with no work or worries from me. I keep luggage there and pack it for business trips. The rent has accumulated to more than the value of my stuff but the peace is worth it.

[Debbie Denier]

Thanks everyone for kind comments and advice. The consensus seems to be dont purge it will come back . I agree think it will.

[Majella St Gerard]

My situation is very different from yours, but sometimes I just don't feel like getting dressed up, sometimes for weeks. Mainly because I'm lazy but sometimes you're just not feeling it. It happens. Just don't purge your clothes, you'll regret it.

[Diane P]

Hang in there Debbie, things will get better in the long run. As everyone else has said don't purge your things.

[Sometimes Steffi]

After a disaster where they went on a search and destroy mission throughout the house while I was at work one day, I moved what survived to a heated/cooled storage unit where it still resides, somewhat expanded and improved 20 years later. I dress there in peace from time to time. I pay in cash. The manager has no doubt figured it out but he seems to like the steady income with no work or worries from me. I keep luggage there and pack it for business trips. The rent has accumulated to more than the value of my stuff but the peace is worth it.

I first go caught when I was packing for a (real) business tri[ and I was packing some lingerie to wear after work hours. Since I was planning to be out of town for a month, I was afraid that my wife might go on a "search and destroy" as soon as I left. I quickly moved most of my stuff to a storage locker, but I left some stuff behind to sacrifice to the "search and destroy". I wanted to give her the impression that she got it all.

She might have searched, but she didn't destroy.

Sometime after that some of my stuff disappeared, and I never figured out what happened to it.

[alwayshave]

Debbie, During covid, I went through a period of depression where I didn't want to dress and didn't even come here to dish with you ladies. Eventually it ended, I am back dressing. I understand having adult children at home, it does limit when I can dress. Eventually, they will leave.