My wife is not on here and I'm okay with that. While i do wish I could be open and honest about my dressing, she isn't interested and gets creeped out about it.
I wouldn't trade her for the world, though.
My wife is not on here and I'm okay with that. While i do wish I could be open and honest about my dressing, she isn't interested and gets creeped out about it.
I wouldn't trade her for the world, though.
Nancy, I could be wrong, but from what I read here from GGs so far, I am under the impression that most GGs care a great deal about it, and the exceptions are more those who don't. This may be more true for those couples like mine where the husband hid and lied, but still.Originally Posted by NancyJ
Apart from that, I agree very much with your last sentence.
And find also Kelli's last sentence very touching. Too bad her wife doesn't get a chance to read these lines.
I think also that since this is a public forum there may be a number of wives surfing it without their husband knowing. Googling up "crossdresser forum" comes back with this site in the top results, I myself stumbled on it quite quickly a while back, so.
Last edited by DianeT; 02-24-2023 at 07:27 PM.
My very good long-term friend who is still a member of the FAB once told me that lots of tears of sadness and laughter are shed on that forum.
Diane, I guess what I meant by ny comment is that I am aware of feelings of gender dysphoria virtually every day, and nearly every day I see feminine clothing that I would like to wear, so I think about crossdressing a lot. Since my wife is quite accustomed to my wearing panties and I rarely wear any other femme clothes around her besides pajamas, I know that she rarely gives my crossdressing any thought. It is a bigger deal to me than it is to her because I have accepted her boundaries.
Last edited by NancyJ; 02-25-2023 at 06:30 AM.
What an excellent thread. Personally my favorite boards on here are The Loved Ones, The ask a GG, and threads like this! Then again the other 2 boards have far less traffic so maybe I am an anomaly.
So many great responses so far, but I will single out Suzie and Diane’s for being 2 of my favorites.
Now to the poll, my wife is definitely not a member here, but she has visited and read all of my public posts and many of the threads in general, strictly as research and less spying on me, though she did want to see if what I was telling her was consistent with what I was telling the boards. I try to keep my posts a little less personal, though obviously sometimes that is unavoidable short of not posting or replying at all (which is why I don’t respond as much, though I pretty much read a vast majority of posts.)
I have pushed her to join the FAB site because I truly believe she would fit right in and it would help her emotionally a lot and to have an outlet to vent/discuss, BUT she also said she would only be a lurker and not participate (though much like me I think she would gradually find that harder and harder to not chime in).
She did try to join, but said she got immediately rejected. Granted she wants NO part of having to generate 10 posts or answer a phone call, though she certainly understands and appreciates the needs for such measures. I do think she appreciates this board is much better informationally and better administrated than anything else out there.
Who knows what the future will hold, but maybe she will eventually join someday and maybe she won’t ever. That will be her decision.
Again, thanks for a great thread.
So true. My wife read it all and it reinforced many of her fears. Boy, did I have a lot of explaining to do after... telling her that no, I wasn't gay, that I wasn't going to go out, nor going to transition. Three years into the reveal, she should be reassured now by the fact that these assertions hold true, however it's probable that she'll always worry about these things since I kept her in the dark about my dressing for so long and because of that she can't take what I tell her for face value.
To take just one example, this joke that resurfaces every now and then, the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person (the answer : two years). People casually throwing it probably don't realize the amount of damage it can deal when a wife still in shock after a reveal reads it (along with threads making the assertion appear as an established fact).
Last edited by DianeT; 02-24-2023 at 08:23 PM.
My wife is far too concerned about the ill someone would think of her for joining such a forum. On top of that, she worries that somehow, someway, someone she knows will find out I'm here and will question her about it. I've encouraged her to sit down and review the various forums with me, but she declines.
Karen
My wife probably has no idea that this site exists let alone think that I would be on it
maybe our wives are less obsessed with crossdressing than we are and simply aren't that interested in going down this particular rabbit hole. For me, I probably check in once a day to see if there's anything new. Although as far as I know my wife isn't on here, if she were she's probably spend a few hours and survey the general tone of the forum and move on. For the record, she's 'tolerant' but not 'accepting' i.e she gets it that I 'm a crossdresser but she not involved and doesn't want to see or participate.
Last edited by audreyinalbany; 02-26-2023 at 08:14 AM.
when I first came out to my wife 12 years ago, she signed up here and used it as a
resort to learn about crossdressers and who and what they are.
I am grateful to many wives and partners who offered her a shoulder to cry on
and shared their experiences with crossdressing partners.
I don't think she has been here for years but it certainly gave her good
advice and support many years ago.
I have been on here off and on for several years. I finally told my wife the truth about my crossdressing. I also told her about this forum. She did join this forum. I hoped it would help her understand this unusual part of her husband. I also hoped that she would find support and guidance through the FAB section, and I think that she has. She supports me in this odd activity and I cherish what I have.
We have been able to talk about this subject more than we ever did. Some of the topics that come up on the MTF group do scare her. We discuss those and other topics. I try to put her mind at ease but sometimes it is hard due to all the hiding and lying that I did in the past. My advice to anyone else dealing with the crossdressing issue is to be truthful about it as soon as possible.
Deborah
My desire is to create an illusion that is a compliment to all women.
It is meant to uphold and celebrate their presence and beauty.
My wife is not on here, she is okay with my crossdressing because it makes me happy, (her words) and I respect her desire to not see me to often. We do talk about clothes sometimes so I am in a happy place. Lucky to have her as my besty for life! She actually encourages me to go out with my tgirl friends if I havn't been out for awhile, I meet with them for dinner occasionally, I think she sees the difference when I come home, and I do not really have close friends in my guy life.
If there are any wives/SOs who do surf these forums without their crossdressers' knowledge, I would encourage them to become members of the FAB. It's a wonderful support system, according to my very good friend, and this seems to be confirmed by other comments on this thread.
My wife knows about this forum, as I sometimes tell her about things I've read (and posted) here. She even knows my screenname here (she thought that was funny and appropriate!) BUT, she has no interest in spending her time here and doesn't understand why I do. Not in a negative way, she just doesn't think it's a big enough deal to talk about all the time, and she thinks quite a few of the conversations are ludicrous. I doubt that she's ever looked, but who knows? As a happily married man, I do consider what I've written and if she'd be upset about it before I post anything, if the prognosis isn't a good one I delete.
As a new member I admit I did come here to research and get informed about people in the same situation as me. I have told my wife because I want to be as open as possible in our relationship, so I think it will not be long before she comes to have a visit......
My wife is not here but when I'm on this site and at times I walk away she will lurk. I sometimes read some interesting post to her and ask her opinion about it. She is very supportive of this site and believes it is a very respectful place and says its very good and important for me to express myself and also share with others my experiences.
My wife wants no part of it. Early on, I invited her to meet some of the other wives in my local TG group, and she declined. I wish she would come on this forum and and see how I'm not as unusual as she believes.
Nancy
"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving
My partner is not here. They're amazingly supportive, but they aren't interested in online conversation.
I could agree that wives reading posts on their own could easily lead to misinterpretation of their SO. We have A common theme but can be vastly different. I suppose it Could work if everything read led to an in depth discussion on the topic and how it applies to your situation. This won't always happen. Emotions will be high. Thoughts will run wild. Probably not a good idea. Better in small doses together if at all.
Genifer has a good point, we as a group run the whole gamut so a SO coming here to see how her other half is can really be in a quandary when she leaves.
We know that no two of us is the same but our SO’s may not.
Crissy
Thank you, FAB Forum Mods, for this wake-up call. I should be careful what I write.
Posting Permissions
