For the Ladies who are intimately involved with men

[Jazzmin]

OK, as a transgender woman who identifies as "straight", I have been in a relationship with a man for 5+ years.

Recently, he and me had a wonderful day together that ended up in the bedroom, (yeah, go figure, right?). As we snuggled together afterwards. I found my nose buried in his armpit, and his personal scent (not cologne), was driving me crazy! I couldn't get enough of it!

I asked a GG friend if that had ever happened to her, and she said that sometimes, a man's scent could be an aphrodisiac, as long as it was a 'clean' scent and not just dirty, unwashed, and foul.

So, my question is, Ladies (GG's feel free to chime in!), have any of you experienced this, or am I just weird?

[GaleWarning]

I presume you have been on HRT for some time, and that your body is awash with Oestrogen, rather than Testosterone. Chemically, you are programmed to be "turned on" by the clean scent of a man.

It works both ways.

It really is quite disconcerting to realize that we are chemically controlled. Think of what happens whenever we take pills, or drugs, be it for medicinal or some other use.

[GretchenM]

Gale is correct. There are several studies on the effects of HRT on sensitivity to pheromones. Males may react initially to male pheromones, but it fades quickly. In a person who is genetically male (has a Y chromosome) but is receiving HRT, sensitivity to male pheromones increases greatly although it does not quite make it to the same sensitivity a genetically female has. But close enough.

But the pheromones a person receiving HRT does not alter their own pheromones as much as it alters their sensitivity to the pheromones of other unaltered males. It appears that producing female pheromones is countered by the remaining production of dihydrotestosterone out of testosterone continues enough to limit the production of female pheromones. After bottom surgery that should change, but I have never read anything that has tested that or confirmed that hypothesis.

[Jazzmin]

I truly appreciate the responses, and it helps me understand more.

But, here is the fly in the ointment: I am NOT on HRT, because I have no medical insurance at this time, and I cannot afford the price of the hormone or T-blocker scrips!

So now I am doubly confused.!

[Laura912]

What you are learning is that the complex structure of the brain and the emotions linked with behavior are very difficult to attribute to a single hormone A or B. You had just released a complex mixture of endorphins, Adrenalin, and all the others associated with a sexual response. Though those may be affected by a single hormone, to use a cliche, “it’s complicated.”The simpler thing is to enjoy, unless you need verification from a GG female to reassure you that this can be normal.

[GretchenM]

Laura brings up a good point. Everything is interconnected and incredibly complicated. Although HRT is a real game changer in the operation of your sensitivity to such things as pheromones, that sensitivity can apparently occur by other much more complex processes. There is a theory that is not very widely accepted that such shifts in your biochemistry can sometimes be induced by adopting certain beliefs that can arise from thinking in particular ways. As Laura says, there is no direct path in a lot of things that we do with respect to how they affect us. Like most things in biology, many phenomena can have multiple factors that work together to produce surprising results. This can apply to hormones produced in the pituitary gland which is a part of your brain. It is a subtle effect. But being convinced of certain things can alter your hormone production to a limited amount even though most of the control over that is due to more objective functions rather than subjective functions that result from your brain interpreting environment in particular ways that may or may not be "correct," whatever correct means in this case which is not clear.

It is also possible that your natural hormonal balance is biased in a particular direction that is not the norm for a male. We are all different in more ways than just behavior and our concepts of self. The physiology we all have varies to some degree and when physiological factors are not with the norm then surprising effects can occur. Your body is a unique system composed of vast array of interconnections that allow for a limited amount of variation from individual to individual. That variation is important for our ability to adapt to changes and also important in the evolution of life if that adaptation can somehow be transmitted to offspring through reproduction. It is also well known that experiences we have can shift aspects around as to how you adapt to those experiences. And then at the foundation there is genetic variation that induces differences in the way things operate in each individual.

So, if you are not on HRT then that reaction to pheromones must be produced by something else that has shifted things so you are receptive. Genetics is important, but in humans and some other primates as well as even less evolved creatures, experience and how we psychologically and physiologically react to those experiences looms large in the total picture.

A fine example is fear of spiders. Spiders are not out to get us, but a single really bad experience with a spider can create a phobia that controls your behavior around spiders that is very difficult to correct. It is a real fear even though it is irrational. And that fear can have profound physiological effects that are triggered by our psychological reaction to seeing a spider or even something that is not a spider but looks like one.

Perhaps Laura's suggestion to simply enjoy this effect is the best course of action. But finding a real cause is maybe a vain search. If it does not have a negative influence on your life and your ability to deal with the world then it is not doing harm and is possibly beneficial. Once again, "It is complicated."

[Jazzmin]

Thank you all for your wonderful and positive responses! You have given me much to think about.

And I'm not actually worried or fretful about this development, but rather, I'm ecstatic about it! I adore and love this man, and if conditions were slightly different, I would happily be his wife! Unfortunately, his siblings and his children would have conniptions!

[Amelie]

I had similar experiences and my take on it was a factor of things, not just the scent. I think for me the situation played a part, the person was also a factor, how I was feeling at the time, even the weather being nice. I think it's called when the planets line up in a row, or the flowers are in bloom, the scent of a man your with will be intoxicating.

Then again maybe the drink was too strong.

[dejalee]

Hi there,

Firstly, I want to applaud you for your openness and courage in sharing your experience. It takes a lot of bravery to discuss intimate details of our lives, especially when it concerns our sexuality.

To answer your question, I can definitely relate to what you're describing. I think it's entirely normal to find someone's scent attractive and alluring, particularly if it's clean and pleasant. In fact, there's scientific evidence that suggests that certain pheromones can increase sexual attraction and desire.

I have definitely experienced this phenomenon with men in my life. There's just something about a person's natural scent that can be incredibly erotic and intoxicating.

I don't think you're weird at all, and I'm sure many other can relate to your experience. It's a natural part of human sexuality, and there's no shame in finding someone's scent appealing.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and I hope this helps!