Trash Day Talk

[Glenda58]

I had been shopping and went to VS and bought some panties for the ones I had just toss. I leave them in my car until my wife goes to bed since we're in a DADT relationship. So I bring the panties in and toss the VS bag and bill and take out with the trash for morning pickup. Most of the times they pick up before my wife gets up but not today. They are late. My wife gets up and she has something to go in the trash. I said I'll take it. She says no I got it and goes out and opens the bag of trash with my VS bag and bill in it and looks at it as I come out to the street. She looks at me and says you still doing this you bought 6 panties. I say yes and went back into the house waiting for her to come back in and all she said was you going to 76 when are you going to stop.I didn't say anything, and she had to go out.

I went to working thinking when I got home, we would have the talk again. But nothing when I got home, she dinner on. Told me about her day. And what I was working on. I told her before we got married that I was a crossdresser and she still wanted to marry me.

Still doesn't want to see me dressed but she gives me time to dress.

[CharlotteCD]

I lived this life, both with crossdressing and with my eating disorder.

All rubbish and recycling is hidden away until it's bin day, which is also my wife's office day. She leaves at 7.30am, and I dispose of the rubbish and recycling at 8am, ready for collection between 10am and 2pm.

Fortunately these days I am not buying food or clothing that needs disposal. The stress is overwhelming at times, due to circumstances such as the one you mention.

The biggest issue now wouldn't be that I am crossdressing, but that I am wasting money on clothing I am not allowed to wear in her presence, or out of the house.

[NancyJ]

Glenda, of course you are still crossdressing. It is part of you. Stories like this, the secrecy and the scolding disapproval, make me sad. You are adults, and apparently have been married a long time. Too bad you can?t just tell her (or better yet show her) that you bought new panties. Gotta be hard. Makes me grateful for what I have (even though my wife will not let me fully dress around her). Nancy

[Heather76]

I would agree with Nancy that it's sad you have to do your CD in secrecy. That said, when I buy something new, my wife really isn't at all interested in me telling her about it. But, the fact is she will see it soon enough as I make no pretenses about hiding anything. I suspect the only things she's seen only once is me with makeup, lipstick, and a wig. That was after I came home from a Pride event. BTW, Glenda, you can explain to your wife there are those of us older than you who have no plans to stop CDing. Quite honestly, if I ever have to take up residence in a nursing home, I hope they are prepared to deal with a cross dresser as I would have no plans to stop. If anything, I'd likely want to be en femme 24/7.

[Di]

Sounds like NOT a DADT but hiding it.
When she first put her foot down I wish you said you knew and still wanted to marry me & figured out a compromise that works.
Did you agree to not to dress and this is the result?
Only asking to help others how NOT to get to this state.
I am sorry I am .
For those reading, do not take the easy way out , talk and figure out things , times you can dress ect and not being 76 and having to steal moments you can dress . A real DADT where she knows because it’s worked out.
Again please don’t take it personally… I think it might help others not to get in this predicament.
So everyone how can she fix this? Is it fixable now ?
Makes me sad for you and her.

[alwayshave]

Glenda, You need to work on your operation security. Makes me glad I don't need to go through all that subterfuge.

[docrobbysherry]

U have to hide your trash?

OMG! I'm so sorry for anyone who does that!

What kind of a oppressive relationship can survive that? }

I've coached my 28 and 35 y/0 old daughters in their many relationships to stand up for themselves and not to let their partners take advantage of them! And, I think they've been doing that better lately!

Just my take on this!

[kimdl93]

I?m with Sherry on this. There are no real secrets here. You are who you said you were a long time ago. And Your wife, from what I can tell, cannot claim ignorance. I spent too much time and energy lamenting the end of a marriage, but honestly, isn?t this arguably worse?

[Sometimes Steffi]

Glenda

I get it. I have to hide my trash also.

Maybe I don't have to hide it, but I do anyhow to avoid discussions like you and your wife had.

But I didn't tell her in advance of the wedding. Heck, I didn't understand it then. I thought it was an alternate means of arousal. I thought it would be cured by getting married.

My wife once said, "Why didn't you tell me before we got married? I'm not sure that I would have married you."

[Debbie Denier]

Glenda . I live my life like that too unfortunately. I get weary of the having to time movements in secrecy. So much so that I abstain more than participate.I have even covered items in the trash that should not be seen. Recently due to renovation work . I forgot about 2 outfits hidden in the trash can/ wheely bins that were accidentally disposed of when the garbage men / bin men came for collection.Like Steffi I never disclosed before marriage. Stash was previously discovered. Resulted in an enforced purge and clear notification of non acceptance.

[Jade P]

My wife knows I dress and that I have two drawers full of female hosiery, panties and nightgowns. But she doesnt like to see me dressed so when I throw away pantyhose or packaging from hosiery, etc. I do it discretely. I am trying to be considerate of her feelings.

[ambigendrous]

When I buy new underwear my wife will know about it as soon as they hit the laundry hamper.

[Krisi]

You need to be more careful about what you put in the trash. Put what you're trying to hide inside another bag. Or bury it deep in the trash can. You could even stop on the way home and throw the bag and receipt in a roadside trash can.

As for leaving panties in your car, what happens if your wife finds women's panties in your car? She might accuse you of more than just crossdressing.

[Glenda58]

Most of time I will toss the bills and bags in the trash at the gas station and she never sees them. She knows I have Dresses and tops. Draws ful of panties and bras. And all of my jeans are female.She just doesn't want to see at I'm buying more things.

[CDMargret]

Sorry to hear things are like they are for you. You told her about you before marriage yet even so I think it's the hiding new things that might bother her the most. What might she say or feel about you telling her "I am heading to VS today, want anything for yourself?" Kinda like a warning shot across the bow...But own it and be confident.

[WendyCD]

Sounds like NOT a DADT but hiding it... A real DADT where she knows because it’s worked out.

Hey Di! It has been a while since I have been on this board, I assume you are a gg (FAB forum). Forgive me if I am wrong.

If it is a DADT, how DO you work it out... My wife has known about my dressing. On and off... We have been together for nearly 50 years. We are in love and will be until we die. My relationship with her is more important to me than dressing. Non verbal and a few words (only a few) through the years indicate that she is not into it. I won't push it because I love her. But she knows about me, but she doesn't want to know, and actually, I don't WANT her to know, about my dressing, again, on and off. So, I guess I am hiding it, but she does not ask and I don't tell. So, what is it?

Thank you for being an administrator and I am not picking a fight.