Felt valid

[AndreaJay]

Hello friends,

I thought I would share a something which I found amusing - after the event.

I am transgender and I've started my social transition prior to my appointment with my gender identity clinic for HRT. I have grown my hair out, legally changed my name by deed-poll with all the people I need to (banks, HMRC, DVLA, etc). However, because I haven't started HRT, whenever I look in the mirror, I just see my stupid male face looking back at me and feel that's all others see too.

So going to the public toilets is an major issue for me. I use the disabled ones where possible or the, hen's teeth variety (definitely in UK), gender neutral ones. I don't use the ladies', as, as I said, I don't feel I pass and, dysphoria aside, fear being attacked if I go into the men's - especially in today's climate of hate towards trans people.

A little while back, I was in dire need, but the disabled ones had been vandalised, so I bit the bullet and went into the horror (in my dysphoric mind) of the men's. I was dressed in simple skinny jeans and hooded top with my hair in an alice-band and clips, so not overly feminine.

I hadn't taken but two steps inside, when this man built like Hulk Hogan stopped me. My heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest! "Excuse me", he bellowed, "The ladies' toilets are next door, you're in the wrong ones love!". I shot out of there, like my rear-end was on fire!

It's funny how the need to use the toilet went off me. But, at least he saw me as being female and that made me feel so valid.

Blessings Abigail.

[kimdl93]

That seems like a step into the right restroom

[Crissy 107]

That ended up being a good confidence building incident.

[docrobbysherry]

If you're presenting female most places of business would prefer u use the Ladies Toilet.

Because as u mentioned, transphobia is more likely to endanger u in the Men's Room.

Women r less threatened than men by trans and women's rooms offer more privacy for everyone!

[ShawnaL]

Good for you! Every bit of validation is a confidence boost for sure!
Hugs, Shawna

[alwayshave]

AndreaJay, I am so glad that you found some validation.

[BrendaPDX]

AndreaJay, Thanks for sharing your validation moment with us. Congratulations. Brenda

[DianeT]

Good one.

[GretchenM]

It certainly tells you that you are on the right track. Irrespective of what sex or gender you are, we are often most critical of ourselves and many others may not see our image as we do. They see you in the moment; we see ourselves in the history. Congrats on the validation. Maybe it is time to venture into the women's restroom? Of course, at this point you really have the option to go to either way. Later in your transition not so much.

[NonbiNancy]

Thanks for sharing your validation story, Abigail. Hearing stories like yours helps us all. <3

[Heather76]

Your confidence should have increased by a factor of 10 times what it previously was. I cannot imagine that ever happening to me unless the person had severe eye problems.

[Maria 60]

I would definitely take that as a confidence booster. I would definitely have a problem because as we get older it seems the ability to hold is harder and there wouldn't be time to scope a surrounding. When I was in Europe I used a restroom and I came out of the stall and to my surprise there was a women fixing her make up at the mirror. I apologized and when i told my family members that I went into the wrong washroom, they told me there is only one washroom and it unisex. I found a few more as I was there and it really would simplified things if they were all like that.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Abigail , I love a story with a Happy Ending, >Orchid**00**

[Jane G]

Hope you took that as a positive experience. Clearly you present and appear to many others as a woman. Your getting there girl, enjoy the life ahead.