We were sitting on a bench in the mall and I heard the tapping of heels, my wife budged my shoulder and told me that one of my friends are coming. I looked over and seen a sister, I didn't want to stare and make her uncomfortable but I did want to see how she put herself together. I couldn't help notice how my wife had this lock down look and just no movement dead staring at her. I believe in the passed my wife seen a crossdresser more passable but this person didn't try to look or walk or act like a women, more less a man wearing a dress. We then went to a coffee shop in the mall and I couldn't help seeing my wife a little discrumpeled. She told me after thirty plus years watching in the wings and watching and pertisapating with that side of my dressing but she just can't figure out what makes that guy dress in the mall like that and if I would have the courage and confidence to do what that person did.
She went on about my day at work that I run a twenty man crew and then I get home and my buddies were waiting for me to work on there car and that my friends don't make a move without me like I'm the ring leader. Then I walk in the house took a shower and put what she believes the pink panties with roses and a pink bow on them and black control top pantyhose which are on display if someone looks down at my feet. Her question comes out, "what went through your head to put those items on"? How could I go from that Alfa male to wanting to put on pink panties. From her watching in the wings she tells me that I may dress everyday and then I don't dress for weeks and it seems like I have a light switch that turns on and off. She doesn't understand what triggers that light switch, she asks me is it something I see during the day that I may want to duplicate. What does my mind tell myself that I want to put on pink panties, or that I want to fully dress, what is the driving force. Well pretty much I told her if I figured out all those questions I would definitely turn my light switch off and live a simpler life. I reminded her about a year after I told her that I was always apologizing to her and feeling guilty and she was the one who told me stop beating myself up trying to figure it out and just enjoy this gift and that's what I did. I stopped trying to figure it out and I really don't know what goes through my head that makes me want to wear women's clothing. All I know is it gives me a great feeling sitting here with her wearing pink panties and pantyhose and I love and just feel so relaxed being dressed.
She asked me if I really had the opportunity would I walk in public? because I don't pass very well and I would probably look like that person we seen, and would look like a man wearing a dress. Again the same way I couldn't answer any other question I couldn't answer that one and we finished our coffee and she said WHATEVER! let's go buy ourselves some pretty dresses. We laughed but tonight my wife seen something and I don't think it was about that sister I believe it was her inner reality or fear of what she seen could be her husband one day. We do have a open relationship and we do talk about my dressing, but tonight she asked me questions that I don't believe anyone here or any doctor can answer.