Wow thanks for all the tips girls!
And thanks for the honestly Charlotte. This is my biggest worry. Rightly or wrongly I?m definitely not ready to be ?outed? and pictures of me dressed ending up online would be devastating. I?m concerned about people on insta, TikTok etc like you say - or even photos posted by the venue itself. On the flip side I?m calculating the odds of me being in a photo AND people I know recognising it are pretty low?
Lily, you should be able to tell people that you don't want your picture taken and they should respect your choice. Depending on your makeup and hair even people who know you probably wouldn't recognize you if a picture does end up online. I guarantee that there is a world of difference between how I look, as Diane, in the pictures Emily posted from the Sat night get together in OKC and the way I look normally. I don't think anybody that knows me in male drab would recognize me as Diane. So go for it and enjoy yourself!
Hate to be the one to throw cold water on this but...
"In my city" is a problem. I think it'd be better if it was 150 miles away, at least. You've got to get out of the hotel and to the event, and even at the event... It's just be better if you were further away from home.
Don't leave your drink unattended even for a second.
I'm glad most of my dressing was done before social media got to the point it is now. When I had long hair I was absolutely recognizable. I did quit going to Walmart because of the "People of Walmart" website. I knew people who looked at that thing every day, and a lot of the pics were of non-passable crossdressers. When I went through my divorce found out that several people I knew had seen me, but either didn't tell anybody at the time or at least kept it pretty quiet. It never got back to me, but it did get back to my wife, some of it not until she told everybody she was divorcing me because I was a "transexual". Undoubtedly some of those "sightings" back in the day would be somebody's social media post today.
I'm not one of those who secretly desires being outed. Although you're never truly safe from it, when I got miles away (the further the better) I could do my thing without any worry. I need/needed the anonymity and that feeling of safety to truly enjoy myself. That's not to say I never dressed at places right down the street. I certainly did, and I almost always left the house dressed. There were places within a few miles of my house that knew me only as a "woman". But I was always looking over my shoulder. My nervousness literally melted away with every mile I got away from home, and by the time I was an hour or so away I had pretty thoroughly become my feminine self, and it was a much better experience than worrying about being spotted around home.
Having said that, I was lucky to be able to get some distance away pretty much at will. If I had not had that freedom, I would have taken my chances. I am not the stay at home type.
I luv getting out all the time. But, I luv doing it at night. Something about night time excites me! Also, maybe you can wear a mask, too. It helps give you a discreet feeling and is acceptable.
SO much great advice here. When you return please tell us all about your adventures.
Originally Posted by Lily88
If you are going to a LGBT club, the people taking pictures are more than likely LGBT, aren't they? So how many of your acquaintances are going to be following LGBT social media. If they are, then they are likely LGBT also, and they are unextremely unlikely to recognize you in the first place, and if they are in the closet they aren't going to out you (because they would also be outing themselves).
At this point, I've been out about 500 times. A couple of times to Pride, a couple of times at LGBT places. Every other time has been to places with muggles, like a Twin Peaks last week and a crowded casino before that. I've never had an issue.
I've even been places--four times--where there was someone I knew. I knew them, they didn't know me.
My picture has been on Facebook twice, on my GG friend Michelle's page. Her picture of us at Halloween got like 80 comments and NO ONE asked who was with her. She posted another picture of me from New Year's Eve.
I've also been posting my picture on Kandi's blog for about 4 years and have even been on Stana's a couple of times. No one has noticed.
The fear of seeing your picture on social media is vastly overblown. Don't let the negative Nellie's here--like going 150 miles away--stop you from getting out.
Last edited by char GG; 03-16-2023 at 09:10 PM. Reason: Her advice is just as valid as everyone else's. Not everyone agrees
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
Lily,
I've writen before about attending a CD social group where some of the attendees would change a the venue.
It was getting towards the end of the evening and I was sat chatting when 2 males suddenly appeared out of the gents and preceeded to walk towards us. "Where did they come from" was my initial reaction and it was only after one spoke I realised they were part of the group and had got undressed, taken off their makeup and gone drab ready to go home.
They both looked so different. I'd been sat next to them chatting and I had difficulty recognising them. So make of that what you will but as others have said, we do look a lot different with our slap, wigs and finery on.
This is way too easy ……frist thing think a ought what to wear so many choices something cute not over the top not trashy comfortable .., hair ?wig? Shoes something you can walk or dance in agin comfortable counts… shave pluck wax debut yourself… go have fun relax enjoy..
Big tip …… Don’t worry abought people will care less abought you being dressed up as a woman than you think enjoy
Here is terrible advice:
Drink too much
Dress really revealing
shortest skirt you have
5" high heels
Do not bring a comb, brush, or any makeup touchup
Use your Man wallet
Leave a purse in your car
Park far away from the venue
let yourself get picked up by a few men.
Ok, I am sure I am leaving out some good stuff. What else is terrible advice for a newbe?
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