So I?m doing what I do most years and seeking your views on what I can do to help others wishing to go out perhaps for the first time and fulfil their aims.
For those who don?t know it?s been my practice to offer the chance to anyone who cares to join me the opportunity to meet up in perhaps one of, if not the most, LGBTQ friendly places in the UK, Manchester?s Gay Village.
At it?s essence it works like this. Usually Wednesday of the third week in November (I?ll explain why later) I offer to act as a mentor, a chaperone or just someone to go out and about with, to anyone who wants the chance. In the past those who have never been out before have meet me in a friendly pub for a chat, a bite to eat and a few drinks to pass the evening away. Others I?ve met lunchtime and we?ve been off to the shops for the afternoon before going to the pub for the evening. For the last 2 years I?ve been joined by Debs for the day and with a fair wind she?ll be there again this year.
Look I know family, work, distance can all be barriers to attending something like this but should all the stars aligned, best case scenario, let?s assume this is something you?d be interested in.
So first question is; what if this was to be your first outing, what would be the things that would give you the confidence to come along? Trust me, no-one bats an eyelid in the pubs. You?re in a friendly crowd. No baying mobs here. Worried about your presentation? I?ve seen all shapes and sizes and styles of dress over the years in others who frequent the area. What are those little demons whispering in your ear saying to stop you talking that initial step into the wider world, filling you with dread.
Second question; if instead of attending the Manchester?s gay Village I offered the chance to attend a support group meeting elsewhere and this is where the 3rd week comes in. There?s a group meets on the 3rd Thursday of every month in Prestatyn, North Wales. They meet in a private room in a social club run by a Trans steward. So would that be of greater or lesser appeal as a first night out?
Wigs can be a big thing when it comes to presentation and there?s a salon in Manchester that I?ve used on two occasions and always been treated with the greatest of respect and friendliness. So if that?s something you?d like to do then we can add it to the day?s agenda.
Getting a foundation check? Easy-peasy. Makeup counter staff are our friends. Allow Debs and I to be your guide.
I?ve also decided to expand my offer to cover the entire week so that, as I?m on Helen?s away time in the North Wales area, if anyone wants to meet up for a coffee and a chat, perhaps a bit of shopping then I?ll do what I can to facilitate that. Say a walk around Chester or retail therapy at Cheshire Oaks outlet park.
I do this because I want others to experience the feeling of liberation that just sitting in a pub, enfemme, just chatting away brings. Three years ago I met up with Debs and Lexi. Lexi had never been out before and I met her in the lounge of her hotel at lunch time. We had a quick drink, I?d driven for two hours to get there, and then went a short walk to meet up with Debs. An hour later Lexi was shopping with the best of them in the Trafford centre. That could be you or if you feel that?s a step too far for a first time then the pub it is. Later that evening, sat in a pub, Lexi commented that the three of us sitting there just chatting away felt the most natural thing in the world to be doing, such was the change that the day had brought.
So please, let me have your feelings. I know there?s a few new members from the UK joined this year so I?d be interested in hearing from you as to what your thoughts are on what might be your first steps out and what would as I put it previously, give you that Goldilocks moment were everything was just so and would entice you out to join us in the big wide world. Also, what is it that big road block that stops you even considering going out anywhere let alone an opportunity like this.
Share those roadblocks, your fears, what gives you anxiety? Look, I was once one of those itching to go out but full of fear. It took me a long time to progress as it was before I found this site and the support of so many. I can only look back on wasted years.
It is hard to express the sense of freedom being out brings. I?d love to help others find that so please, give me your wish list, what ingredients need to be added to the mix to make it right for you. Help me help you.
Oh, and keep an eye open for the formal invite in the places to go section.
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Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater
