Those are my fears too (apart from being 6ft 5).Originally Posted by CharlotteCD
I?m only 5ft 5in, but im fairly portly.
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I?d love to take advantage of your services, Helen, apart from my fears I posted earlier.
I?ve also found some CD services websites locally - Leeds and Humberside, but another fear I have is being forcibly outed, blackmailed, or robbed by people who might not be offering genuine services.
Last edited by Giddy; 04-06-2023 at 09:27 AM. Reason: Punctuation alterations
Giddy, Helen isn't offering a service, this done out of the goodness of her heart, and a genuine offer of help and support, knowing as we all do, how hard it is to get out of the door and explore.
On a side note our group meet in Grantham once a month at a nice trans friendly hotel.
Charlotte,
Thanks for your thoughts. They're ones many of us have battled with over the years, yours truly included.
I knew years ago that the desire to go out was there. I managed the odd night time drive and at the time my wardrobe consisted of things salvaged from the jumble sale bag and let's say the fit wasn't great. Christmas provided a reason to be buying women's clothing, the old it's a present thing and slowly my wardrobe improved. My access to the outside still remained very limited but I'd realised that one of the worst things in life is to get to the end of it and look back and wish "If only".
Bit by bit I became more adventurous until on the pretext, yes a lie, that I wanted to go hill walking but at my pace not following my slower SO up hills, I started going away for a week once a year. To start with I did walk most days and then use darkness to find places I could walk enfemme. Each year the balance shifted and for many years now I'm just enfemme 24/7.
Those fears you elude to slowly get chipped away as you realise that they're a bit like saying I won't go abroad as the plane might crash. Yes it's a possibility but statistically all but negligible.
I can appreciate your issue with height. However a couple of years ago I was sat enfemme in a Manchester LGBTQ friendly pub when in walked this vision in black flowing chiffon, Only just managed to get thought the door without ducking. Tall, slender, graceful, full of confidence a few people turned to quickly admire and then got on with their conversations.
This brings me to why I make this offer every year. Overcoming these fears is daunting. I like many manage to do it on my own but the really big game changer for me was when I first met other from our community. Knowing that others like me actually existed in the real world and not just online and seeing just how much they were able to do gave me renewed vigour to progress further. If I can help others experience just a taste of what many of us now treat as normal, if I can stop someone having that nagging doubt later in life that they've let things slip through their fingers then I'll keep doing this year on year as long as I can.
I can only wish you well on your journey and hope that one day it's a fruitful and rewarding as mine has been for me.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
Sorry. I used the wrong word. I meant to say I’d love to take advantage of your kind offer. Perhaps one-day.
On another subject… I’m working away from home for a few days, doing a Linux programming course near Shrewsbury.
Looking forwards to getting “giddy” out of the closet again.
If I'm in the UK then I will definitely consider joining
To return to Helen's original offer, yes it would be great to have a welcoming hand extended. It would have been nice to have a hand extended decades ago. When my wife and I had "The Talk" it was 1983. I was 36 years old. Once we got past the drama and trauma of discovery she told me it was alright with her if I found a support group. This was before the internet. I searched and found in the back pages of a newspaper the telephone number of a group in Seattle. I called and started to make inquiries. The person I talked to had zero skills in fielding questions and hung up on me. Why even put a number in a newspaper if you're going to hang up on the caller? So, you enter a long period of isolation. It was not until finding and joining this forum that there was any communication with like minded individuals. Now I have to realize there is also a generational divide between me (75) and those around me.
I been having the urge to venture outside as Grace for the first time. I am tryin to build up the courage to do so. I would love to meet others in my area to hang out with so I can feel more comfortable doing so. That is very nice of you to do this Helen
No promises but I'll look out for updates. Going to take a lot to be out alone with strangers. Great offer/idea though.
Emily,
You're not alone in knowing how to make that first step. It's a hurdle that so many of us have faced over the years. One of the reasons I chose to place the meeting where I do is just because it has complete strangers. Folks you're unlikely to ever see again. It also fits in with the safety guidelines regarding meet-ups you'll find at the top of the forum.
One thing i think is worth pointing out is the pubs we've been to over the years are just like any other pub. Folks sat around tables in social groups chatting. While they are LGBTQ friendly it's very difficult for the casual viewer to know that they're not in a pub full of muggles.
I did look at your profile as I tried to PM you but your settings don't allow it but I did read you're open to folks contacting you so if you'd like to get PM's click on "Settings" top right, in "My Settings" select "General" and you'll find the PM settings in there.
As I've now booked my weeks accommodation and hence can now set a firm date, Debs BTW has already booked her hotel for the night, goodness that gurl is keen, I'll be posting in the Places to go section within hopefully the next few days to formally kick off proceedings. PM me if you'd like more info and advice.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
Helen its our 3rd year together, I really hope you girls can join us, PS Helen always buys the first round, lol
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