Church

[MonicaPVD]

So, let's talk about church. A few months ago, I went out dressed on a Sunday afternoon and met a friend at a restaurant along a busy street. After lunch, I walked to my car and passed a storefront evangelical church. Just as I was walking past, the door swung open and a very kind older woman welcomed me in. She was very sweet but also a bit insistent, so I relented and went inside. The service was about halfway through, and afterwards everyone was remarkably kind and welcoming to me. It was kind of overwhelming. Well, since then, I have been visiting that church as often as I can, and they have welcomed me (Monica) with open arms and hearts. This has been an unprecedented experience for me because Im not religious, and because I had mixed emotions about going into a place of worship dressed. I was afraid that some of the other churchgoers might find my presence to be sacrilegious or blasphemous. Keep in mind that these are somewhat fundamentalist evangelicals who, by default, advocate for "traditional family values." And yet, they have embraced me, use my name and pronouns, etc. An important detail is that the pastor is an elderly woman and 80% of the churchgoers are middle aged and older women. I think that makes all the difference. One funny aside is that I have had to shop for modest dresses because I didnt have any before and considering how covered up the women are, I wasn't about to shake things up even more. While I am still not religious, the sense of community and the positive vibes are a welcomed addition to my life.

[kimdl93]

Interesting conversation, although it may not survive the prohibition against religion. I have encountered similarly welcoming women at religiously-sponsored charitable events. As a (ahem) mature woman myself, I could sense how willing they were to include others, even someone like me, as part of their efforts.

I think this particular thread should be allowed to continue in that you are really addressing non-secular matters. I have not been a church goer for decades, but grew up in a very conventional household that attended sunday services, etc. The key function of that congregation, from my perspective, was community fostered by attendance. People gathered, drank coffee, chatted and undertook charitable projects together as part of the congregation.

Humans need and seek connections. I see a lot of people who seem unmoored and some who get drawn into negative, even anti-social activities for the lack of constructive and positive connections.

[AmyJordan]

Hi Monica your fashion sense sounds much like mine I would be more likely invited into an entirely different establishment.

[Aunt Kelly]

Assuming that they know your biological sex...
I believe that you are spot-on with your assessment that the congregation's demographics contribute to their acceptance of you. In general, women are far less fearful of MtF individuals. Something to do with fragile male ego's, IIRC. I'm certainly not saying that there are no cis female haters out there, just commenting on the observation that women are less triggered by us.
Has the subject of your gender identity/expression truly never come up?

[MonicaPVD]

Interesting conversation, although it may not survive the prohibition against religion.

No reference to religion in my post.

Yes, they are quite aware that I am not a cis woman.

[Sandi Beech]

Interesting. I have noticed posts from others with references about going to church. It kind of puzzles me that others did not envision the same concerns you mentioned. I think it would make me a bit uncomfortable, but that is just me probably because of my parental upbringing which was not one of acceptance.

Sandi

[Stephanie47]

I have found through seven decades on this earth that "birds of a feather flock together," so it does not surprise me to find a church that is welcoming.

[MonicaPVD]

Hi Sandi. My thoughts exactly. My parents were very strict and rigid about their religious beliefs.

[Natalie5004]

I believe the Evangelical church locally would love to see Natalie visit them. Very open and accepting. PS, bring money.

[docrobbysherry]

If this were the rule rather than the exception in America I think things would be very different here. For the better!

That, and even a broken clock is rite twice a day!

[char GG]

Mod note:

Thanks to everyone for staying away from talking about religion (which is against the rules).

[MarinaTwelve200]

It ALL depends on the denomination and educational level of the congregation. Our church even had a "womanless Beauty contest" not many years back.---

[Jean 103]

I helped out with a close Friend's wedding. Adjustments to the dresses and made a dress for her granddaughter.

I've had no problems at all.

The only thing my friend told me was your shoulders need to be covered at her church.

Good for you, make friends and enjoy your life.

[Debs]

Hmm not sure about the attitude from churches in the UK, will have to maybe call in when out on a morning walk dressed (when away from home), I do actually pass a few churches, there is one straight across the road from the hotel where I stay in Blackpool, never give it a thought, maybe I should ? , lets see, will let you know.

[Crissy 107]

Monica, I have to say this is a very interesting thread and how you have been accepted into this church. I honestly would have never guessed this could happen. Good for you and thanks for sharing.

[NjJamie]

Monica, such a huge "Win, win" for all of us as well as for you in particular! That they have welcomed you in is awesome, then add that you are going back I think you're exploring and opening a whole new world for many of us. I truly believe that outings such as yours will go such a long way towards bringing down the tension we see or expect when we go out, such a wonderful story to share.

I'm wondering who was more "wrong" about the other side, the church members who you believed would be "more traditional family values" or you (and most of us I'm sure!) that thought they might not welcome you, never mind having shown such acceptance of whatever it is that you are doing. I was out yesterday for about 3 hours, shopping at JCP and the grocery store, spent far more time than I ever have in very close quarters with clerks and other shoppers but other than a few second glances from just a few shoppers and nothing but great service from the sales assistants I had just a wonderful time out as Jamie. For those who haven't but wish to try it, just jump right in, the water is at a perfect temperature for all of us!

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Monica,

Great post and discussion. I'm happy that you found a place and feel welcomed. I wish more folks would wake up.

[alwayshave]

Monica, while I am not religious, when I do go to church, I go to a Unitarian Universalist church, which is very welcoming.

[MonicaPVD]

Thank you all for the great feedback. I want to clarify that the church I went into is an urban Latino evangelical church. These churches and their leaders, almost by default, lean very conservative and tend to be very outspoken about "wokeness", gender theory", freedom of choice, and the "war against family values." That's what makes this so unique.

[ShawnaL]

So happy for you that you've had this experience! I've had to stop attending the church I grew up in over who I am. Strangely enough, I'm NOT bitter about it...just sad.

[Nicole_in_Texas]

Love this ❤️ Most Christians are accepting of everyone. Even if they think it?s weird.

[MarinaTwelve200]

It's what true Christianity is all about.

[April Rose]

I can't really comment here because we are not supposed to talk about politics or religion. To me they are both exactly the same thing.

[RachelB.]

We recently retired and relocated. I attended church in Florida dressed many times. I posted here after the first time. During the move I was warned that the area we now live in wasn't trans friendly. I have been out several times dressed and always treated with respect. We have been attending a local church, dressed of course, and they seem to be welcoming. I have a couple of the greeters that remember my name and are very friendly. One of my bucket list items has always been to do the Easter shipping and get all dressed up for church Easter morning. I've done the shopping, tried on my clothes and will be at church in the morning.

[Ilsa]

Often thought of attending church, especially Easter mass, so that I may show off my spring wardrobe. Alas, I didn't have the nerve to be in a public place of such high moral standards. Many a times I thought of attending the services of a former fellow co-worker who became a Christian pastor and would have liked to see if he might recognize me.