Looking for advice

[Embarrassed Emily]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site and fairly new to CD in general.

I was married and during that time my wife and i jokingly painted my nails. I liked it and started to ask her to do it more. We were struggling as a couple, but i trusted her. She loved watching drag shows and I would make comments that I'd let her dress me up like that in a joking way to test the waters.

That got brushed off and the more I asked for nail polish , the more she resisted doing it, So i stopped asking
I did it a few times myself staying hidden from family. One day she saw it through my socks and initially flipped out, but realizing I was very embarrassed, toned it down a bit , but it never happened again between us.

Fast forward months and she left the family because she was cheating . She promised to always keep our secrets, but I know she has told friends and family about this and other things

Since she left I began exploring my CD side and dressing up, all kinds of outfits , shoes, wigs and makeup. Not passable at all but enjoy the feeling

I met a girl online and we hit it off immediately . She is pretty, nice and open minded. Early on we began talking about and CD, all before we met, but she was immediately interested and wanted to explore it all

After dating a few months she told me she told a few friends about some of activites I asked her to not do that as it was personal to me and not something I wanted to share. She agreed and apologized

Fast forward to last week , 7 months in to us dating.

I know I snooped and I addressed that, well aware of what I did wrong.

I looked at her phone and scanned though it back to when we met.

She had screenshot pics I sent her, and had been talking to at least 9 friends , who I haven't met yet, talking about CD and everything else we spoke about.

Except the way she talked to them was a 180 from how she spoke to me. They all joked about me and what I liked, and she even made some comments at my expense. They all did

All of things we talked about, we did. I would dress for her and she always said she loved it and was super supportive and made me feel amazing and welcomed. I never felt insecure or embarrassed. She even bought me clothes and makeup. She treated me amazing in real life but to her friends in text form it was different

I'm not sure which to believe is the real her or what to do next. But I do feel like (and this is the only way I can think that make sense) that if i was gay and hadn't told anyone, that she basically.outed me without my consent.

I've never met these friends but always wanted to
Now I want to crawl under a rock and hide and never meet them

We talked about it all of this and she apologized
But I don't know what to believe anymore..not sure what to do