CD and Autosexuality

[NonbiNancy]

I had a surprising experience while looking at photos of myself (Nancy) all dolled up... I became aroused. I wondered what was going on so I did a little research, online and here on the forum and discovered autosexuality. For those that don't know what it is, here's a description:

"Autosexuality means people are more attracted to themselves than to others and may prefer masturbation to sex with a partner. It doesn?t mean that someone who is autosexual will never have sexual relationships with other people. It simply means people who are autosexual feel more sexually aroused by themselves rather than by others. Autosexuality has not been widely studied. While some people identify as autosexual, every person has autosexual tendencies. Like other sexual orientations, autosexuality can exist on a continuum. Some may have sexual desire for themselves, enjoy self-stimulation, have sexual dreams about themselves, and fantasize about themselves to the exclusion of other relationships. Others may have these qualities but can also be romantically and sexually involved with one or more partners."

For me, as my near lifelong CD recently came to the forefront (last year), I remember the realization that I (Nancy) was what I had been searching for in relationship, my own feminine nature. I now feel more content with my wonderful friends and family, and have been able to keep sex as something I simply enjoy (more than ever) alone.

I'm curious if others find themselves in a similar sexual relationship with themselves. Something else the article said I thought was important, "Autosexuality can be confusing to outsiders, especially because it isn?t well-researched yet. Some do not consider it a credible sexual orientation and may mock it as narcissism, something unnatural, or even a mental illness. However, sexuality is nuanced, and everyone should be able to explore their own desires in the way that feels right to them." AMEN!!

https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-autosexual

[Diane P]

Very interesting Nancy. I have to agree that the first time I looked at pictures that I had taken of myself, this was before shaving the beard and getting makeup done, I was aroused. Now looking at myself, in the pics from the Mar GNO in OKC, I can definitely say that I can be aroused.

[Claire M]

There is another condition called autogynephilia, which is defined as a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female. It is the paraphilia that is theorized by a sexologist named Blanchard to underlie transvestism and some forms of male-to-female (MtF) transsexualism.

All that being said, I sometimes find it a bit arousing to watch myself change from male to female appearance as I apply makeup and dress. I guess I make a fairly attractive woman ... at least to my male self!

[EmilyShy]

I'm not sure if a female version of me arouses me or the whole process. Things like lingerie, stockings, skirts and dresses with make up, heels etc arouses me. Me wearing them adds to the whole excitement. So it's very hard to pick out which one is the trigger, is it the picture of me or the memory of the time I was wearing them.

[Kris Burton]

Most of us are heterosexual men, and as such are pretty much hardwired to be attracted to the female form. I think most of us strive to present as attractive an image as we can, both to ourselves and others. Add the sensual qualities that EmilyShy mentions with the propensity of many of us to fantasize, is it any wonder arousal occurs?

As for me, I refuse to get too wrapped up in the psychological aspects of this; I simply enjoy the feeling.

[kimdl93]

I cannot say that I have ever found myself arrousing. I am pleased when I think the image in the mirror looks satisfactory, since my objective, always, is to look as convincingly feminine as possible.

[CharlotteCD]

There is another thread on here, with a lot of responses - I'm on mobile so can't go looking, but I think you'll find it interesting.

[GretchenM]

Interesting, Nancy. The definition you provide is very similar to the tongue twister Autogynephilia. Blanchard came up with this as a more technical explanation for gender variance. It really didn't fly as a standalone explanation but the phenomenon definitely exists as a specialized form that some people exhibit in one form or other. However, it does not fit as a general explanation. The whole thing of the region where sex and gender overlap is really complex behaviorly. The two are definitely intertwined in some ways even though autogynephilia has largely been discounted as a major factor in general.

There was a period between about the year 2000 and somewhere around 2015 where gender and sex were thought to be completely independent, but that has also been successfully attacked as not being a general explanation for gender variance. Now, the thinking is that sex and gender do have links even though in general the linkage is weak or nonexistent in some gender variant people.

Personally, I seriously doubt there is a one size fits all explanation - the entire phenomenon is simply too complex and variable to have a well constrained explanation, that is, it is multi-causational along a multitude of different factors. Neurological findings strongly support this variability in cause. It is so very individualized.

[Cheryl T]

Viewing my reflection or even photos of myself sometimes makes me very happy, but it's never been a sexual response.

[Rhonda Jean]

Hmmm. Well... How I'd love to find a word or phrase that just hit the bullseye on what I am. One that as soon as I said it, everyone would know me so precisely without any further explanation. Not a little more here and a little less there and something else borrowed from someplace else, but not really any of those things at all. I used to think I was pretty hot shit! Does that count? (Oh, come on. Who of us hasn't thought that same thing?) Aroused? Not to slice things too thinly, but I guess it depends on what counts as arousal. Physical arousal (trying to think of a way to church this up!), I don't think so, but I've forgotten more about this journey than I remember. I'll make that a maybe. Maybe a probably. I'm not hard up enough to be "aroused" by what I see in the mirror these days.

I'll give you this. There's something sexual about it. That's something that we seem to shy away from, by and large. It's as if admitting that there's a sexual component to it makes it less pure or something. For me at least, although it's probably not sexual in the traditional sense, there's something that puts me in hyperdrive to do it. It defies logic. I don't run away from the sexual aspect of it. For most of my life I might have. I'll bet that somewhere in my history on this board I've said "It's not sexual for me". I'm sure I've also said I'm 100% straight. At the time I thought I was telling the truth. Maybe at the time it WAS the truth.

I've given up on finding that bullseye term. I probably fit into a lot of classifications, and I don't run from any of them anymore. Auto-whatever, gay, bi, trans, cd... throw in a few derogatory terms for good measure, I fit all of them to one extent or another, and next week the mix might change. It took me a long time and a lot of life experience to get this point and to get over some of my traditional (sort of) southern cultural conditioning. If autosexual was it for me, I think that'd be pretty handy! Probably solve a lot of problems! Sounds like I'm kidding, but I'm actually not. I'm glad you had the nerve to post about it on here. A little more honesty about what drives us or turns us on is probably needed around here. Sometimes it seems like when the talk turns to sex, we all turn into Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith show. I don't typically put mine out there, and I don't think I'm any more of a freak than anybody else. Some of us admit it, some of us don't.

[EmilyShy]

I agree with Rhonda, well at least for me if being honest. It is a sexual thing, I've always been open but never dabbled physically but this is an extension of my sexual self whatever that is

Unfortunately society has made me act the way it says I'm supposed to

[MarinaTwelve200]

That element was THERE decades ago when I started and it still remains with me to this day---- Indeed I end ALL of my dressing sessions with an autosexual "event". After which ALL desire to dress ceases, and I can't get the clothing and makeup OFF FAST enough. It seems as if all the dressing has lead up to the final event-- and THAT being done, the desire is entirely eliminated, at least for a week or so. I find it a VERY INTERESTING Psychological phenomenon, that may hold important clues to my own psyche and for others like me.

[MonicaPVD]

We sre truly obsessed with labeling and deconstructing everything, aren't we? So some of us may get turned on by who we see in the mirror. Ok. Some people get turned on by a song, a smell, a fried egg. Some of us have a hard time getting turned on by anything. What's the scientific term for "it's all good?"

[docrobbysherry]

Nancy, as others have explained, autogynephilia, (the attraction to yourself as a female), has been discussed here ever since I first arrived about 16 years ago.

However, back then dressers who admitted to self sex at all, muchless inspired by your fem image, were NOT accepted. Those, like myself, who professed to experience or enjoy it, were soundly repremanded! Because everyone knew "real" T's didn't EVER do that. Only disgusting CD's and fetish "trannys" did!

If u research "autogynephilia" in "old threads" here I'm sure many will pop up! The really old ones could make an interesting read!

[Fiona_44]

I have always enjoyed looking at myself, both as a male and as a CD. I get more aroused by sex with a person although not by much, they are very close.

I agree with Rhonda that CD's often shy away the topic of sex. Some of my thoughts on why:

- I think most ladies fear that permitting a lot more sexual content and photos will turn this into a sort of porn site. And porn sites all turn into trash eventually. I think many gals came here to get away from that stuff.

- There are a lot of middle aged and mature CD's here. As the testosterone levels decrease, so does the interest in sex to a degree. What replaces it is more of a desire to talk about dresses, lingerie, shoes, makeup, going out en femme ...etc and less about sex.

So the sexual aspect is a smaller but still important of the complete picture. I recently purchased a light-rose color, knee-length, multi-layer, chiffon evening dress and when I put it on for the first time I became aroused. I looked and felt extremely sexy and was on an emotional high for the rest of the day. I am glad the sexual aspect is there because it adds just a little spice to what is an already thrilling way to dress and live.

Fiona

[alwayshave]

No, not me at all.

[NonbiNancy]

Ladies, one and all, I so appreciate your responses here and those that PM'd me. I do resonate with what many of you said and find it so interesting how diverse our feelings are. As Rhonda shared, I too find myself able to see myself in most labels, so I do my best to avoid them. I wouldn't label myself autosexual but it seems to simply be closest to how I currently feel, and I've worked and identify with many labels over the years: trans, poylamorous, pansexual, etc. I've read about autogynaphilia, and it sounds interesting but I have the extra dimension of realizing that, though it can add to the experience, I don't need to be in female form to experience the attraction. One thing I know is that everything changes, so if I met someone tomorrow and found them attractive I would simply be honest with them about my own gender identity and sexuality and then go from there. As Gretchen shared, this gender identity, gender presentation, sexuality spectrum(s) is complex. It certainly is a rich field for self exploration. Most importantly, at the end of the day, I just love being Nancy!

[SaraLin]

When I take (or look at) pictures of myself, I definitely don't get turned on. I'm too busy seeing all the things that are "wrong" with my look.

The camera and the mirror are not friends of mine.

[CDMargret]

I simply love looking at photo's of myself all dolled. I look hot...lol...to me. Makes me feel so good in my heart and soul. Snuggling in with my wife while wearing my favorite silkies enhances everything.

[Rhonda Jean]

I don't need to be in female form to experience the attraction.!

Interesting. Lowering the level from arousal to attraction, I'm trying to think if I relate. I'd say in strictly male mode, zero. From there it's when does doing something in male mode become female mode. Probably requires too much thinking. I've certainly done feminine things in male mode that were possibly more "satisfying" (if that's the right word) in male mode than in full fem. Loved rolling my hair, for instance, and particularly loved having my hair done in a salon and sitting under the dryer with a head full of big rollers. Can't do that anymore, but now I get my nails done almost always in male mode. Kind of the same thing with carrying a purse. That's a routine thing in fem mode, but I get a little extra juiced about it in male mode, which I do all the time.

So, strictly male, certainly not, but doing traditionally feminine things in male mode... maybe. I never thought of the attraction being to myself. I always thought of it as an attraction to whatever I was doing or wearing. There would be a whole list of feminine things I love doing in male mode, but there again, when does that become female mode.

[Ressie]

I've always been aroused at seeing myself in the mirror in female attire. But it can get boring sometimes 'cause I'm not all that!

[NonbiNancy]

Interesting. Lowering the level from arousal to attraction, I'm trying to think if I relate. I'd say in strictly male mode, zero. From there it's when does doing something in male mode become female mode. Probably requires too much thinking.

Thanks Rhonda for making me think about this. Great question,when does male mode become female? Thinking about the attraction (that may become arousal) even though I'm not in female mode, it is a more feminine feeling, (like carefully putting on lotion or washing our legs). My autosexual point is that I'm the only one present and the only one I'm thinking about or may be experiencing arousal about in that moment, just me. And not dressed as either gender at that moment, personally, it's a very nonbinary experience.

[lynn.crossdresser]

Hmmm. Well... How I'd love to find a word or phrase that just hit the bullseye on what I am. One that as soon as I said it, everyone would know me so precisely without any further explanation. Not a little more here and a little less there and something else borrowed from someplace else, but not really any of those things at all. I used to think I was pretty hot shit! Does that count? (Oh, come on. Who of us hasn't thought that same thing?) Aroused? Not to slice things too thinly, but I guess it depends on what counts as arousal. Physical arousal (trying to think of a way to church this up!), I don't think so, but I've forgotten more about this journey than I remember. I'll make that a maybe. Maybe a probably. I'm not hard up enough to be "aroused" by what I see in the mirror these days.

I'll give you this. There's something sexual about it. That's something that we seem to shy away from, by and large. It's as if admitting that there's a sexual component to it makes it less pure or something. For me at least, although it's probably not sexual in the traditional sense, there's something that puts me in hyperdrive to do it. It defies logic. I don't run away from the sexual aspect of it. For most of my life I might have. I'll bet that somewhere in my history on this board I've said "It's not sexual for me". I'm sure I've also said I'm 100% straight. At the time I thought I was telling the truth. Maybe at the time it WAS the truth.

I've given up on finding that bullseye term. I probably fit into a lot of classifications, and I don't run from any of them anymore. Auto-whatever, gay, bi, trans, cd... throw in a few derogatory terms for good measure, I fit all of them to one extent or another, and next week the mix might change. It took me a long time and a lot of life experience to get this point and to get over some of my traditional (sort of) southern cultural conditioning. If autosexual was it for me, I think that'd be pretty handy! Probably solve a lot of problems! Sounds like I'm kidding, but I'm actually not. I'm glad you had the nerve to post about it on here. A little more honesty about what drives us or turns us on is probably needed around here. Sometimes it seems like when the talk turns to sex, we all turn into Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith show. I don't typically put mine out there, and I don't think I'm any more of a freak than anybody else. Some of us admit it, some of us don't.

I'm so with you Ronda on this, thanks.

[DianeT]

I find looking at some of my CD pictures or videos arousing, yes, not phenomenal, but it's there. But it has nothing to do with me being excited by what I see, it's just that I revive the experience to some extent, and my CD experience has a sexual (better described as sensual) component, since my desire to dress is fueled by my heterosexuality and love for the female figure and look.

[BrendaPDX]

Nancy, Yes I do like some of my pictures, and after reading your post I looked at them again. Yes I do have favorites. This is probably the only place I could find a post like this, and in particular the responses. I always feel a little better about myself when I come here. Brenda