First time feeling pretty...

[Bea_]

I started dressing in my early fifties out of the blue. The urge came at the end of several years of major crisis in my marriage and I guess I wanted to escape who I'd been. I'd tried on a couple of items of my wife's clothing over the years, but it was never more than just curiosity.

My dressing started with panties and progressed to encompass about half my wardrobe by now. I've never left home dressed until the subject came front and center after a couple of years with my therapist. Since September 2022, I've dressed for sessions, mostly changing to femme in the office while she waited in the lobby. Over the last couple of months, I've been going into the lobby dressed, but not hiding the fact that I'm a man. The first time I went in dressed in obvious women's clothes and accessories, there was a thirty-something woman in the lobby. She didn't really acknowledge me and I ended up sitting across from her distracting myself with my phone. My natural inclination is to think I made her uncomfortable, but that may be just nerves talking.

The next session, I told my therapist that I'd had sort of an epiphany on the former session. I realized that, even if the woman was uncomfortable, even if she was appalled at the way I was presenting, I was glad that I'd been bold enough to express my taste in a somewhat safe environment. I told my therapist that, on the former session, sitting in the lobby, "For the first time in my life, I FELT PRETTY."

I am a man in women's clothes and I'm not trying to present as a female. I've got a full beard and the physique of a sedentary 67 year old man. But, I felt pretty all the same. I felt like I imagine a woman feeling when someone compliments them. My own image of myself warranted that feeling for me. That hasn't happened before. I am happy to settle for being a "pretty man" when dressed.

Peaceful was the word I'd always used to describe how I felt dressed up until that day. Now, I regularly see pretty when i look in the mirror, even with a full beard. I love being a guy. I have no intention of losing the beard. Now, I'm coming to grips with the idea of being pretty and owning it.

Does this strike a chord with anyone else?

[Geena75]

Well kudo's to you for your self acceptance and confidence! I have had a full beard (close trimmed) but do not care for the dressed look in it. I either wear a mask, or have shaved it off. For me it is presenting as a woman, and being someone else for a little while. But, to each their own! Delighted that you have a look that works for you!

[docrobbysherry]

Bea, u could have been writing my CD story. Rite up until the, "thot I looked pretty with a beard", part!

Like u, I never even thot to try on women's things until my 50's! And, in most of my pix, including my avatar, I'm wearing a beard and stash under my mask!

Unlike u, after a year I came to hate my shaved, ugly, old man, face on my sexy, fem, body! Trying on a mask changed everything for me! Now, like u, I can see a pretty woman when I look in my mirror!

However, if u wish to go out dressed as bearded man in a dress? Be prepared for a lot reactions from folks. Most may be negative.

I've gotten used to peoples reactions to me, a very old man presenting as a sexy, young woman. Well, more or less gotten used to them.
But, if I went out with no make up or wig, and with a beard and stash? Well, ---------I just wouldn't! If u can? I think you're the bravest CD in America!

[Bea_]

However, if u wish to go out dressed as bearded man in a dress? Be prepared for a lot reactions from folks. Most may be negative.

I have only gone out the way described to my therapist appointments. I'm using the opportunity to do some "exposure therapy" in a relatively safe environment. So far, only women have seen me in that mode and the reactions have not been particularly positive. I've just moved forward and I've been able to take even negative reactions in stride so far. I feel mostly good about the experience anyway.

As far as the beard is concerned, the shape of my jawline is not attractive in male or female mode and the beard actually makes the male mode much more attractive. I also really like being a man and take my style choices to be an extension of my manhood rather that a diversion into womanhood. There was a member here at one time named Mark B. I think. He mixed the feminine into his look while remaining decidedly male. A modified version of that look would be what I'd strive for.

Even at sixty-seven, I've got a full head of shoulder length hair that I've learned to style in a more feminine way with no need of a wig. I had my ears pierced for my 67th birthday and I'm venturing into some more feminine dangly styles. I feel the indulgence that women enjoy, without becoming a woman. As a 'typical' man, I spent the first fifty plus years feeling invisible. Instead of invisible, I feel pretty when I choose the things I like.

I'm still closeted other than my therapy sessions and I don't see that changing soon. My wife would have to make a 180 degree turn to expand on that.

[Diane P]

Bea I know exactly where you are as far as sedentary physique and full beard. I had been growing my beard since I retired from the Air Force in 97. Just started fully CD'ing Sep of last year, just two months after my wife passed away. I had been under dressing for about 20 years. Just this last Mar I attended a Girls Night Out in OKC. I had been debating about whether or not to shave my beard off. Finally decided to, aftere discussions with Geena via private messages, and also had makeup done at the GNO by a professional makeup artist that attends these all the time. I was amazed by how different I looked after she was done, you can see the results by looking at my avatar.

I really loved having my beard, but for me the full CD experience meant having makeup and that would have been hard to do with the beard. Don't get me wrong I know I'm a man in women's clothes, and I don't think I could pass all that well, even with makeup. But for me the makeup made the whole Girls Night Out that much better an experience. Just my two cents worth. By the wat we are close in age, I'll turn 65 May 22nd.

[nancy58]

It does strike a chord. At the beginning of my last en femme outing, I looked in the mirror after I finished dressing and putting on makeup, and I was happy with what I saw: a gray-haired lady smiling. I had the most relaxed grocery shopping trip I've ever had as Nancy. I didn't worry whether others saw a man-in-a-dress vs. a woman; I just did my own thing.

Regarding others' presumed discomfort: unless you are seeing signs of discomfort, there probably isn't any. I've learned that most of the negativity I fear may come from others was my judgments of myself.

[CDMargret]

Why yes as soon as I read beard I was like "WHOA". And I love it. Doing what you want, need and like . Being you. I myself prefer to shave legs and face because I don't like the scruffy. Feels better to me. But I do love you going out beard and all. Gotta do what make you happy and feels great. Keep it up.

[Bea_]

Oddly, I did shave my legs for several months over the last year and loved it. Unfortunately, the stubble showed up within 12 hours and hindered ANY intimacy with my wife. If I was in a position to have leg hair removed permanently, I'd jump at it. Same with chest, belly, back and butt hair. But, I like the beard and feel much better with the beard overall.

[Natalie5004]

I remember the first time I got really fully dressed with makeup and everything shaved off.
It was an eye opening experience for me.

My wife is not 100% on board with my dressing but she tolerates me. We have both have been dressed up for a dinner at home a few times. I also go out but I do get clocked. I am OK with that. I say to myself that I have every right to do what I do.

Beard is a stronger statement. Good for you.

[Joanne108]

Yep I know I had that moment too! It was back in 2012.

[jjjjohanne]

I have felt beautiful on occasions. It was not because I was attractive to anyone. I was just in love with my outfit and my day. I am not great at fashion. A good outfit can make me feel SO good.

Concerning a beard when crossdressed:
I grew a beard for a role I was going to play in a minor drama. I ended up taking a class at a local community college for a few weeks during that time. I decided to attend the class as a man in a skirt. But the beard! I was worried that being a man in a skirt with a beard would be different from being a man in a skirt otherwise. As far as I can tell, the beard never made a difference to anyone. If you're in a skirt, you're in a skirt, I guess.

One time, a woman told me I was beautiful. She seemed like she was a bit emotional when she said it. I blogged about it: https://joeypress.wordpress.com/2021...led-beautiful/

Needless to say, I felt super beautiful that day!

[AmeeJo]

I LOVE to feel pretty! It does not matter to me if I'm dressed to the nines or just wearing some sexy lingerie. Seeing myself dressed makes me feel pretty. I have shared a few pics of me dressed with several people in my life and hearing someone else tell me that I am "so pretty!" is a great boost to the ego as well.

[nancy58]

I finally felt pretty one day this year, after 18 years of dressing up. Or maybe I should say that I looked in the mirror while dressed up and was happy with who I saw.

[JamieJ]

All your stories give me hope.....I am just beginning to dip my toe in the water, but I don't know if I have the courage that you girls display. I'll keep working on it here at home, and maybe I'll find a personal style that will make me feel confident enough to venture out beyond the confines of my safe space. There's a lot to learn for an old man, that's for sure.....

[Sometimes Steffi]

Sometimes, there's a fine line between bravery and utter stupidity.

You can either be brave or stupid, but "just do it".

[dawnmarrie1961]

Trama can often cause behaviors to manifest. When I lost my computer business, my daughter and grandson, and my wife tying to commit suicide, something inside me needed soothing. I reached back in time to my childhood and found a remedy. When I was 5 or 6 years old, I used to wear a girl's nightgown to bed secretly. I kept in an old radio box under my comic books. After my three brothers were fast asleep, I used to lower myself to the floor and crawl under the bed to put it on. It was soothing and helped me go to sleep.
We all have reasons for what we do. The hard part is figuring out what they are.

Yeah, it's ok to feel pretty. Guys can be pretty to.