I'm somewhat empty of feelings at the moment, which is very much related to my depression. I'm absent in my relationship thanks to my wife's attitude towards intimacy, and feel very similar about my job, despite it being something I really enjoy and like my potential progression.
It's also affected my outlook on Charlotte's existence. I just feel ridiculous when I look in the mirror, and look at my body type and know I would never pass, and it's demoralising.
It's for these reasons that I don't have any desire to crossdress. I'm wearing knickers right now in bed, and will sleep in them overnight, but feel nothing.
I will wear a satin chemise and nightdress all evening tomorrow, and I know I will feel nothing.
But, I want to.
Why? I guess I miss Charlotte, no matter how bad I feel about her.
If you felt like this, or your feelings were gone, would you want them back, despite the complexity it can cause you?