Childproofing

[CharlotteCD]

Ah, childproofing, where you ruin the aesthetic of your carefully crafted home, fitting child gates on the stairs, fireplace surrounds and bumpers on every sharp corner, all to keep your little one safe.

Childproofing however also needs to be about keeping something else safe - my secret.

As we all know, children are nosy. They root around where they shouldn't, and the discover things that aren't for their eyes.

Does anybody have any experience or insight to add about how being a closeted dresser was impacted by the arrival of a child?

I've already got a hidden compartment that nobody knows about behind a false back in my wardrobe, and I can put things up high, but as my daughter gets older, I am sure she will have a look around mummy and daddy's things.

[GretchenM]

Well, 100% protection from private things is next to impossible short of getting a large safe and keeping it locked. My daughters are long gone and there is no problem now they are adults, that is, the one that is still alive. The other, well -- its been 18 months since she departed. But as kids they got into things; as teenagers, well, "Golly gee whiz, how did she find that?" It happens. It is not bad though. It is a lesson in that this world is full of people of all kinds and varieties. Just be prepared to provide an explanation that is not an attempt at deception. Upon discovery let them know it is not nice to go through other people's things - some things are private. If you are respectful of their curiosity and honest they will accept it and perhaps think the better of you.

Of course you can get rid of all your stuff that you think a kid should not find or see and keep it away from them so long as they are living at home. That is dishonest and it isn't going to happen anyway. It is really not going to hurt them even if they do find most things if you are honest.

[alwayshave]

Charlotte, my ex-wife was a terrible snoop. I hid my stuff mixed in her overflow closet. She never found it. Believe me, had she found it, I would have heard about it.

[CDMargret]

Way back when I kept some things locked in a chest and others in my wife?s draw in a corner. So if they snooped it?s in with her things. Nice now days having half a closet full and kids in their own places. I still keep things on her side. Just in case.

[Geena75]

Fortunately, I didn't develop a "stash" until my kids were all in their teens and beyond. I picked places that were not readily accessible or on their radar of places they would want to look.

[CharlotteCD]

I have always felt that locks mean there's something worth finding inside!

I sometimes wonder if my women's clothing like t-shirts and trousers would actually just be better folded in with my men's t-shirts and trousers, as they're hidden in plain sight.

[Stephanie47]

The only time I am aware of my kids finding anything was when our daughter was a toddler; maybe two or three. She opened the bottom draw of my armoire where I kept my relatively small stash of slips and one bra, a vivid red Vanity Fair bra. My wife found it in our daughter's hands. Our daughter was too young to associate the bra with anything. but my wife was not aware of the bra. "The Talk" ensured: 'Why would a man wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it." Thus, my wife and entered enter the world of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Now? My wife is not aware of my wardrobe which is really "hidden in plain sight" in the converted garage to living space; 24+ Xerox boxes. My armoire is crammed full of slips and nightgowns and panties. My night stand has a huge box of older vintage "stuff." There are eighteen medium size USPS boxes crammed full of panties. I need therapy.

[Cheryl T]

Can you say LOCKS ?
Sure, sure ya can.

[docrobbysherry]

Younger children rarely have any interest in garages. Except for the bicycles ot sports gear kept there!

[April Rose]

I came out to my son when he was 22. He told me he had known since he was 14.

[Jamie001]

Your children will find out and they will know. Maybe it's better not to hide it from them? They will find out and they will wonder what else you are hiding or being untruthful with them.

[DianeT]

Label the locked crate "Mum and Dad's private pictures" and no kid will ever want to be less than a thousand miles away from it. When I was 15 my mother once asked me to look for an item in a luggage in the basement, and after searching a couple luggage I stumbled on a private picture of her second husband. It wasn't even hidden, no box no envelope nothing. I can tell you that I didn't look at the other photos, and if the luggage had been labeled like I suggest, I would never have opened it for the life of me. Ok, now erase memory and get back to my normal life.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I've had the same thoughts now with my grandkids running around the house quite a bit. They're not quite old enough to go snooping, yet, but I know they will (I did!)

There's a great firearm safety commercial that came out a few years ago with the same premise, that kids will find things. In the ad the kids are swordfighting with things they found as the moms are talking, eventually the moms notice that the swords are huge dildos.

[Heather76]

I keep all my feminine items in the vanity drawers of our guest bathroom and hanging clothes in the guest bedroom closet. Whenever we will have days guests, I empty out the bathroom vanity drawers and bring it all into our bedroom and place it in my nightstand drawers. For overnight guests, I do the same plus I hang all my dresses, nighties, etc. at the far end of the clothes rod where my wife has her clothing. It blends in perfectly. Assuming you would be concerned about children getting into your nightstand drawers, ask your wife if you can use a drawer in her dresser. You could also devote a dresser drawer of your own to only your femme garments so that if it was discovered you could simply say that is your wife's overflow drawer as she has too much to fit in her dresser. Sometimes hiding things in plain sight is a good solution.

[Karren H]

We have had to Grand-childproof everything. Lucky my fem things are all stored away in hidden high places and it will be years before he gets big enough for me to worry about that.

[Natalie5004]

Heather, I store my girl stuff in the guest bedroom too. I will have to move EVERYTHING when we have a long term guests too.

I do not have any extra closet space in our closet. I will have to come up with something.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Charlotte , Them little critters have a way of finding things that they were not even looking for, >Orchid**OO**

[Jamie001]

As I read this thread and try to look at it from another perspective, it is really amazing how we feel that we have to hide the clothing that we wear. We are not doing anything wrong! The psychiatric community tells us that over and over again. When women wear men's clothing, do they hide it? It is society that has the problem, not us yet we hide clothing as if we were hiding meth, cocaine, or heroine. When you step back and look at the situation, it is really sad.

[Heather76]

Heather, I store my girl stuff in the guest bedroom too. I will have to move EVERYTHING when we have a long term guests too.

I do not have any extra closet space in our closet. I will have to come up with something.

Tell your wife she definitely has too much clothing and will need to shed some of it to make room in the closet for yours.

[Rachelakld]

my daughters found my stuff when they were 8 & 9.
The fact some of their "girlfriends" at school were, had anybody bothered to looked under their clothing, actually boys - nobody looked and nobody actually cared, they were just one of the girls.

The nice thing about girls is they are more empathetic and they give make up and style hints

[Cantcatchabreak]

With my experience so far I don't hide everything from my little one (daughter is 8). My son is 16 and I hide everything from him. He knows not to go in my room out of respect that I won't go in his (snooping that is). But when my little one is around I don't mind wearing some simple yoga pants and a tank top with sports bra. She must think it's just normal clothesfor me as she never even bats an eye. Now as far as storage of said items goes, I keep everything locked up. Here's a tip: I don't use keyed locks; combination locks are best as they don't have keys to lose

[BaileysSecret]

My daughter is still a toddler and i have been worried about this as well as she gets older. Luckily my wife knows so we just keep all my things hung next to her things in the closet

[ShawnaL]

I have always felt that locks mean there's something worth finding inside!

I sometimes wonder if my women's clothing like t-shirts and trousers would actually just be better folded in with my men's t-shirts and trousers, as they're hidden in plain sight.

I used to do exactly that - and it worked like a charm!

[Misiokaku]

Hello Charlotte
Great topic as my little girl is now 3 months and I too have to think when and how to slow down with my dressing and how to "hide" it. Luckily for me, my wife is so understanding that she was really concerned as i brought up this topic that we would have to find some solutions for me to be able to dress somehow ... Well as for now she won't see the difference but for later on i too have to find a solution. would love to hear more about your experience.

[JulieC]

My wife knows about and accepts my crossdressing. When we had our first child, things didn't change...at least not at first. When that kid turned 2, it started to change as her awareness of her world began to increase. Since then, she's never seen me dressed in anything femme, nor do I have any intentions of any of my kids seeing me in anything femme. Thus, having kids directly impacted my crossdressing.

I keep my clothes hidden, in some cases in plain sight (integrating with my wife's). The opportunities to fully dress are limited to when the kids are away, or we/I are away. We had a several day long span recently where we were temporarily kidless. I took every opportunity to crossdress during that time, spending all of it en femme when I was at home. This was with my wife's foreknowledge and approval. Such windows of opportunity are limited. I take them when they come, and make the most of it. I try to make do with underdressing as I can.