I would say to be comfortable in YOUR skin. Then go do what needs to be done. Remember that you have every right in this world to express how you feel and to go anywhere.
I love the opera idea. That must have been fun. The bathroom thing did work out for you. All that noise that you spoke about earlier (standing in line) was really inside your head.
Be free! Just remember to clean shave first. (at least I make sure I do)
Other ideas? I mowed my lawn and painted my house. (I have an old wig for such occassions). More outgoing activities? I do love my visits to the local coffee/wine bar and at least once each summer I will travel up to the headwaters of the Mississippi to hike along the trails, visit the gift shops and have lunch at Douglas Lodge.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Great
But all these activities are available in małe mode too.
Granted, none of those are exclusively womens activities. Other than getting a pelvic exam or birthing, the range is pretty much open to all genders.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm sorry, but this post is even more condescending than your first post.Originally Posted by Betty70
April, you hit the spot.
It is known that women today are liberated and can do whatever they like.
They can paint their nails or lift weights at the gym,
try on a colorful dress or chop wood, etc.
And men? Chop wood as much as possible, lift weights at the gym - too.
But the alternatives listed? Well, rather not.
When you dress up as a woman you get a pass to another world.
How do you use it?
Almost everyone on the forum writes about shopping, the braver ones a hairdresser or a beautician.
Other ideas are lacking?
Women are liberated because they can chop wood?
Women's rights to control their own bodies in the US are currently under assault by predominantly white males in a number of states and five white guys on a certain legal body.
Women consistently are paid less than men. Women are more vulnerable to physical and sexual assault.
Do you really think women have it better? What planet do you live on?
And you chose to insult women by referring to "Women's Activities"?
At the same time, you are going to stop going out because, heaven's forbid, you had to stand in line for TEN MINUTES to use the loo at the opera? Oh, the injustice of it all!
If you want to go out, find something you like to do and go out and do it dressed. But quit moaning about what women do--and whatever others on this board do when they are out.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
Don't take what I wrote so seriously.
The juxtapositions I used were meant to be humorous in my understanding.
I'm sorry if I offended.
I just wanted to ask you about activities that society customarily assigns to women rather than men and that you enjoy while in disguise.
I use a weed whacker extensively on the front lawn. I've taken a few rock hits to my legs. One even bruised. Only for this reason I decided to save the boobs for later. That could be an expensive accident.
Let's see....This morning, I went to work out class. Then stopped to take pictures of some eagles that built a nest nearby. In a few minutes, I will be mowing and raking the lawn. Just finished helping load and unload wood from our pickup truck. Later today, I will be getting my bike ready for a ride. Tomorrow, I will be washing our sailboat, then helping put sails on, and take it for a sail if time allows.
A few weeks ago, I went to Tree Runners and did a zip line course. I also work at a concert venue and worked last weekend.
My hubby did some volunteer activities "dressed" (updating spreadsheets at the Cancer Society). There are volunteers at the art museum, libraries, Kid's Food Basket, maybe the Red Cross, many thrift stores, lots of volunteer opportunities. You could get a part time job at some summer concert events. Check your local area and see what events are happening and see if they need volunteers.
Hmm, I guess I'm not sure which "women's activities" are acceptable to you? Are they only activities that you have a pre-conceived notion about?
Do you HAVE to wear a skirt/dress/heels to do "said" activities? If so, are you limiting yourself to a 50's housewife type of dressing/activities? You do have the option of wearing jeans, shorts, skorts, all purchased from the women's department.
Do anything that you want, just wear whatever makes you happy while you are doing any activity.
Last edited by char GG; 05-25-2023 at 06:20 PM.
I have a single father, a divorced brother, an ex, a current husband, and several sons who live with their wives or girlfriends. Whether living with a female or single, all the men in my life (plus my male friends) shop for groceries, clothing, and household goods, go to restaurants, bars, concerts, shows, outdoor fairs, etc, go on walks, bike-ride (except my father who is elderly), go on vacations, cook, do laundry, clean the house, do yard-work, do DIY home repairs, tend to children, spend time with friends and family, in addition to their careers (except for my father who is retired) … in short, they do everything that all the women in my life do.
Also, I and my female friends and relatives ready ourselves for the day just like men do. We shower, brush our teeth, get dressed, and get on with our day, so the business of "next shopping, another dress, lipstick, earrings" doesn’t really apply to us except on very rare occasions. I’ve worn makeup just once this year, to go out to a special dinner in a nice restaurant. And I didn’t feel compelled to wear jewelry, a dress, or heels.
So what is women’s activities exactly? Maybe you just mean doing things that both genders do, while being dressed as a woman in a magazine?
Sorry to be nit-picky, but I’ve fought all my life against gender inequality and other than still existing inequities in salaries I’m glad to say that in our day and age, I don’t see any differences between men’s and women’s activities, except those involving manual labor that requires the brute strength that some men have and most women don’t have.
As to the ideas you request, just do everything that everyone does, that I mentioned in my first paragraph. You just want to go out dressed … it doesn’t really matter what you do.
Reine
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Quite by chance I found myself an example of activity, of the type I was trying to ask about:
I hit on a sale, literally for a few pennies a very nice dress, unfortunately I knew immediately that it is definitely too big on me.
Nevertheless, I bought it. There is a sewing machine at home, I will try to taper it myself and shorten it a bit.
As for me, it is a kind of activity just of a feminine nature, however, if this thesis should offend someone, I apologize in advance.
On a daily basis, I enjoy DIY: carpentry and electromechanics.
This would be the equivalent of DIY in the female mode.
It will be interesting to see what comes out of it.
Greetings
It is the opposite for me. I bought a couple sewing machines to alter my guy clothes to fit.
There is a large selection of women's clothes in my size so I can usually find something that fits off the rack. I'll buy crop sizes instead of hemming.
I took typing in high school when few guys took that. An extremely useful skill that I still use today!
When I started working our department had two secretaries. Their jobs were eliminated and everyone was expected to do the stuff they used to do.
Our company was progressive in that they tried to promote one of the secretaries to an editor position but it was too hard for her.
They had better success with our current editor. She started at the very bottom as she dropped out of the work force to raise her kids. Then the discovered she could write!
Last edited by Maid_Marion; 05-27-2023 at 10:11 AM.
How could one possibly ever get tired of shopping. I go to multiple thrift stores once a week sometimes two just to see what I can find.
I think everyone may have just missed something: To me, 'women's activities' are simply just plain old activities of any type, which are done just ever so slightly differently, when done by a woman. This is easily demonstrated, by watching the girls and women in our lives, and seeing how they do things, differently from how we and other males do things. It's not even really a conscious thing, it's just something that we automatically 'just do', differently between the sexes, because of how we grew up doing those things.
One simple thing, is how we take off our tops. Women tend to use both hands, while men typically just grab the collar from the back with one hand and pull it over.
Or perhaps the practice of sitting down and keeping their knees together, from way back when, when pretty much all females wore skirts and dresses, and were careful to avoid exposing themselves, while men had no such care.
The way a woman with long, carefully styled hair, puts on her coat or jacket before going out into a windy day, so as to avoid instant mess, as opposed to a male who typically has short hair doesn't bother with it, or a male with long hair who simply doesn't care if it becomes a rat's nest mess.
The care needed when sitting down to eat at the dinner table, to be careful not to let her hair get into her food while she's eating, or onto her plate, bowl, or cup.
Spending time detangling long hair, and caring for split ends.
The care needed to get nail polish / make up, just right.
Or drinking using a straw, instead of shoving a can or bottle up to our lips, because they don't want to ruin their lipstick.
Using fabric softener while doing laundry, so that the cloth becomes soft and smells nice, where as I, as a kid, grew up doing my own laundry, and didn't care if my jeans and other clothes ( even underwear) were stiff as boards or wrinkled all over; we 'were men', and weren't supposed to be concerned with 'girly' things like having soft, nicely ironed clothes.
All of those, and more, 'women's activities' which are different from the very same activities done by a typical male.
Hope that explains things a bit better.
During my childhood, when I was growing up and really believed that some day I would wake up as the girl I was supposed to be, I watched my sister, mother, classmates and other girls, in order to learn how to do all the things in life, as girls did, so that after it happened, no one would ever know that I had ever been a boy. So I watched, and practiced, 'girl's activities', meaning, as how it's done 'by girls'.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I wasn't going to respond to this topic but, having read all the posts and, in particular, today's responses from "sometimes_miss/Lexi" I'll add just a few sentences.
Yes, age does come into it. I grew up in those long-ago days when, as others have remarked, skirts/dresses/slips/girdles/nylons, etc were just about universally worn and, yes again, women's roles and activities were generally different from those of today. Those clothing items have been very largely rejected by most women, partly because they found it easier to widen and deepen their roles and activities when not wearing those things.
Back in those now-distant times I admired both the clothes and the women wearing them and very often wondered what it would be like to do the things they did while wearing those clothes. I found out by, in a very limited way, putting on the clothes. I can say without doubt that my admiration for the women around me increased as a result. I never got round to the make-up or the hair styling - too much effort - but finding out how it felt to go about even basic activities (only around the house and garden) wearing those clothes confirmed my view that women were harder-working and made more effort than ever I did. Although I regret the passing of those "old days" from the clothing point of view, I most certainly understand why women's preferences in clothing have changed so much and in no way regret women's changed roles.
Hi sometimes_miss, long time no see!
But why do you feel as if women do things differently than men do. Examples: in the kitchen, the men I know do things exactly the same way I do. In the yard as well, or the way we hold a paintbrush to paint a room, or a screwdriver to fix something, or the way we all back our cars out of the driveway into the street. My SO and I hold our laptops on our laps and type the same way. I'm running out of examples.
As to your examples, you mention putting on a coat with long hair. A guy with loose long hair will pick up his hair and get it out of the way of the collar just like a woman with long hair would. And he certainly will also do his best to not get his long hair trail into his soup bowl when eating. lol. And it stands to reason that both men and women with longer hair will need to pass a comb through it more than men and women with shorter hair. As to going out on windy days, I think everyone gets their hair mussed up, women and men with shorter or longish hair. Women no longer get their hair styled weekly at the salon with tons of hairspray the way my mother did, requiring a scarf when out on windy days for protection. At outdoor events, I see both men and women drinking sodas or beer out of a can. As to the different ways we sit, I'll give you that one. Men have extras between their legs that make it uncomfortable to sit a long time with thighs together like women do, and so the difference there is simply due to having a different anatomy. As to using fabric softener, my sons do the laundry just as much as their wives and they all do it the same way, whether they use fabric softener or not. As to ironing, honestly I don't see any of my daughters-in-law ironing. I don't even know if they own ironing boards. lol. I cannot remember the last time I ironed something but if I did it was likely a man's dress shirt ... not my own stuff. Most casual clothes don't need ironing, and they all (sons and wives) dress pretty casually most of the time. Also I've seen my sons take their Tshirts off in the yard. They use both hands just like I do.
I wonder sometimes if CDers perceive things differently than how they are, because they seem to put females up on a pedestal so much?
Reine
Well for me, never tire of the day to day routines. Shopping-love it, selling old outfits-love it, buying new outfits-love love it, watering the yard dressed each morning-love it, cooking meals in heels-love it...
I just love wearing my things and doing whatever needs to be done.
I do not seem to assign gender to activities. I do find however that I seem to bring slightly different attitudes to activities when in femme mode. For example, when I sit down at the piano in a dress I favor slightly different styles. This is just a personal quirk, not a reflection of any larger trend. . . . vale
Well, Reine, it's really pretty simple; you and I have observed different sets of people.Hi sometimes_miss, long time no see!
But why do you feel as if women do things differently than men do. Examples: in the kitchen, the men I know do things exactly the same way I do.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I have enjoyed revisiting this thread. Several rather PC posts. Men and women are still very different creatures, IMHO. Many of the stereo types remain and some will always remain. I will always enjoy the part of me that understands the more female side of society. As to understanding a typical male I honestly feel less connection, mentally. I feel there are huge differences. Many have historically been social. But I can't help thinking many are physical in our brains. I think I understand transgendered, mentally that is me. Physically I am 100% male, with no hope of ever convincing any one else otherwise. Yet life goes on, so we must each enjoy ours buy what ever route we take.
For me the most I could do was photo shoots with new outfits.
I tried to come out to the wife but it went very bad.
I do feel I have some great photos to look at.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Bowl. Long hair. Bowl and long hair... Mmmh. Oh, right! Note to self: next time I dress, go out to a bar with a GG friend and pull back her hair when she's busy over a toilet bowl after a couple too many drinks. So feminine!
So this is the topic that inspired the epiphany that I am transgender. For most of my life I thought I wasn't or couldn't be because of my behavior and what I liked or didn't like.Like shopping, I don't like random shopping. There are tons of women who don't like it either. Everything I enjoy doing there are women who do the same things. Now I just do the same things I normally do only dressed the way I want to be dressed.
We don't "see" the world. We create a representation of it in our mind by picking the signals and cues that are salient to us and rebuilding that complex clockwork into a simpler model that we can understand and process (whoever had to deal with discordant testimonies from witnesses of the same remarkable event will know what I mean, so imagine how it can translate to more subtle things). You built a model of women that fits your internal schemas. Reine did too. I do too. We all do. At some point, we need to confront this internal representation to the reality of things. It may match sometimes, and sometimes not. Some will try to defeat it in the hope of testing its validity, incrementally adjusting it to make better predictions. Their model will evolve constantly. Child do this a LOT, notably by testing people and trying things. Some adults, on the other hand, will try to confirm it by carefully selecting the signals that keep proving it right. At some point, they will get the hang of it and their internal model will not evolve anymore. People who do not make their model evolve will eventually face a situation when the world has changed to a point where the model so visibly fails to work that even cherry-picking facts and signals won't cut it anymore. They may then reconsider the model, or chose to keep defending it, which may require a lot
of efforts, efforts which will intensify as time passes and the disconnect grows.
Both you and Reine have seen the same world. But you retained different things. I don't live in North America (although I spent quite a few months there) so I won't comment on the gendered mannerisms out there. I think girls do tons of little things that guys don't, and vice versa. In my heterosexual mind (and maybe my CDer's too), these things are seductive, because they are markers of a sex I love. But I may also be interpreting (inventing, in a way) a lot of it, and missing a lot of the rest. And anyway, they are very small details, and these differences tend to wane with every new generation. In the end of the day, like Reine, I don't see a difference between a girl drilling a hole and a guy doing the same. And I don't see a close resemblance between how modern women dress and how I do when CDing, even if I have a strong impression of dressing "feminine", and that's ok, since that's not my original aim. The disagreement with GGs will begin if we try to apply our pink lens to the world and say that the world is so. No. Our CDer's model of women is so. And women are whatever they are and not concerned by it. This thread is choke full of such confusions.
P.S. About women being described as shopping addicts: I observed that many women spend a lot of time shopping for clothes for their husbands (who don't care to go the mall to renew their wardrobe) and children. When my wife and I go to a male department on sales days, we see a lot of women shopping alone (and although that doesn't count as a statistic, the only time I have seen a husband shopping for his wife was to buy her lingerie). Easy test: ask a wife the sizes of her husband. Then do the same with the husband (a non-CDer if possible) about his wife's sizes (you can even try his OWN sizes for some
Last edited by DianeT; 06-11-2023 at 04:19 PM. Reason: Minor context addition to PS + ref to witnesses
DianeT has an excellent point about most people seeing what they want to see in order to conform with their belief systems. But I think this is mostly true if someone has any given strong agenda, whether this is political, spiritual, or social. They are determined to only see, or value, or believe things that confirm their bias.
I do firmly believe that CDers have an elevated opinion of all things feminine because they are constantly striving to imitate that which nature has not given them at birth.
It is also true that men and women share lot of things, including emotions, likes and dislikes, hobbies, career choices, behaviors, etc. If you just look around and see both men and women experience joy and grief, pleasure and anger, jealousy, pride, etc, enjoy the same sports, engage in the same careers, take responsibility for the same things financial and household related, etc, ... and the only real difference between them is their genetic sexual differentiation.
The gender gap has narrowed considerably in the last generation to the extent that it no longer exists in many areas (career choices, financial and household responsibilities, leisure-time choices), and all of this does influence attitudes and behaviors. I see it all around me, from my children, nieces, nephews, friends' children, young neighbors, etc.
Reine
Hello Suzie,
apart from shopping for women's clothes I don't do anything "feminine".
I do much the same things as my wife (and vice versa).
I don't go to the hairdressers and she does not play guitar.
Life is good!
luv J
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