Results 1 to 25 of 25

Thread: Major changes have happened

  1. #1
    Member AmeeJo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Location
    Central Valley, CA
    Posts
    429

    Major changes have happened

    Hello everyone! Some have noticed that I have not been around much lately. I realized that my dressing was causing issues with my relationship with my wife. She never said anything but, after 28 years of marriage, I know her too well and I could see the signs. I reevaluated where my dressing came from and where it was headed and I decided to revert back to the way I dressed most of my life. Just some underdressing and lingerie in private only. My oldest is a transgender female and she is the same size as me so I sent her most of my wardrobe (gotta keep it in the family). I have nothing out in the open any longer and I told my wife that I would not be fully dressing any more. It has taken a couple weeks but things are MUCH better now. I never really wanted to dress full time and I never went out fully en femme. After thinking about it all, it was a lot of work getting all dolled up for just a couple hours to enjoy it. I absolutely treasure my time as AmeeJo and I have every pic I have ever taken. Maybe one day I'll revisit it but, for now, I'm happy with who I am. I love my wife more than ever and I am not willing to do anything that might jeopardize our relationship. Anyway, I just thought I'd share.
    We can only achieve what we dare to reach for.

  2. #2
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    1,436
    Whether you stick to it or have some temporary relapses, it's nice that you try taking care of your wife and couple. Did you discuss this with your wife? If you didn't maybe you should. It's good if she's included in your reflection.

  3. #3
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    I am lost, and I like it. Don't find me!
    Posts
    1,038
    Good for you AmeeJo, always good to see when people have their priorities straight, many of us here could learn from you!

    - Suzie

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,766
    If you are satisfied and your relationship remains in good shape,it would appear you have achieved a balance for you. Kudos for recognizing the situation and making the appropriate adjustments. I think it's important to realize that the balance we all strive to achieve is different for each of us.
    www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/

  5. #5
    Member AmeeJo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Location
    Central Valley, CA
    Posts
    429
    I knew I'd get some great support here! That's why I love this site and all of you lovely ladies. I did talk with my wife about this and it went very well. I think she was worried that I was going to fully transition and she was not ready for that. I could sense her relief after we talked.
    We can only achieve what we dare to reach for.

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,786
    Whatever it takes for two adults to remain in a loving, intimate, relationship is their business and theirs alone!

    Hope this works for both of u, AmeeJo!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Diane P's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2022
    Location
    Western Oklahoma
    Posts
    1,045
    Ameejo glad to hear things have worked out for the best with your wife.
    The Pink Fog will be with you, always!

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,650
    I am glad to hear you have reached a satisfactory place with respect to your needs and your relationship.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #9
    New Member
    Join Date
    May 2023
    Posts
    19
    You have to do what's healthy for you ans your relationships

  10. #10
    Senior Member Fiona_44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Posts
    1,121
    You done good girl, very very good.

    I never told my wife of 42 years about my dressing because I was hesitant to introduce that might impact our relationship. My wife was a progressive thinking person and would have accepted me with some rules in place for both of us but you just never know exactly how a relationship may change. Even though we were very much in love and very close, something might have changed and I did not want to risk that. I loved our relationship just the way it was. So I stayed closeted for a very long time. My wife passed away 18 months ago and last May was when I decided to dress fully and go out in public.

    Your decision to put your wife and your relationship ahead of dressing can be difficult for some CD's to make but I think that in your case it was easier because the love you two share is very strong. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    Fiona
    "Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu

  11. #11
    Administrator Di's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    SouthEastern Ontario
    Posts
    16,117
    Do what is best for you both always.
    You sounds like a lovely couple….makes me happy.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


    Administrator

  12. #12
    Member ShawnaL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2023
    Location
    Intermountain West
    Posts
    156
    Yours is the very definition of outgoing love for another. Good for you!
    Hugs! Shawna
    Life is too short to wear ugly panties!

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    10,933
    AmeeJo, Hey, you absolutely did the right thing. You have a great wife and your relationship comes first.
    Good luck with everything!
    Crissy

  14. #14
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,907
    Hi AmeeJo,
    As I read your post I found myself saying "Yes" to each of your points and thoughts. I did have a giggle about your eldest being able to take the clothes. Wishing you nothing but best for your and your family. Thank you for letting us know and not just dropping off the proverbial cliff. Again wishing you nothing but the best. Maybe stop in from time to time just to say hi?
    Brenda

  15. #15
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,509
    Good for you AmeeJo! As has been said, you have your priorities right. Dressing up is an enjoyable pastime, but our relationships at home are full time and much more rewarding. Now don't be a stranger -- we still like hearing from you.
    www.flickr.com/people/196660660@N08/

  16. #16
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    3,068
    I believe you made a great decision,I believe in family first. When our kids were young and opportunitie was scarce my wife didn't like my frustration and aggressivence. I seen she was starting to get discouraged and just like yourself I pulled away and gave her some fresh air, just to say. Just like yourself I keeped it low key with just underdressing and when some time came around she approached me why I wasn't dressing.
    It sounds like you have a great wife because when someone does something or gives up something they love for there partner you just know it worth it. I hope you don't forget about us here.

  17. #17
    Member Mary Loo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    266
    Ameejo,

    You may recall that we both joined this site at near the same time. I can 100% relate to your post and made a similar one of my own several months ago when I felt my relationship with my wife was taking a turn for the worse. I took a sabbatical from this site for 4 months. My wife and I have had lots of lengthy discussions and though they can be emotional, airing our feelings always ends up helping both of us. Again, I can relate to sensing and feeling the relief from your wife. You are to be congratulated for taking your approach and it will help your overall happiness, but hopefully more discussions and mutual openness and respect will ultimately lead to a healthier situation for both that doesn’t have to exclude dressing when you need to.

  18. #18
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,630
    It says it all, you love your wife. Maybe you'll find time to dress at a hotel and quality time for yourself.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  19. #19
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    1,863
    Change can be difficult, but it appears you have shifted your priorities to an alignment that serves the totality of your life better than the fracturing that can occur when we focus on only one aspect or a select few aspects. I join with the others in supporting your choices.

    If you find there is an empty hole in your life as a result of the decision there are many other ways to address that. I think it is important for us to keep in mind that the dressing is a consequence of other things going on in our brains that are driving that need. The feelings that we have are very real and are very much a part of us and who we are, but there are many, many ways to address the feelings that keep them alive and avoid the plunge into a turbulent dysphoria pool. In fact, you are making this shift because your brain sees a conflict that needs resolution. What it comes down to is to "follow your heart" which is not really your heart but rather brain activity that is sorting out what is most important to a stable and comfortable existence.

    Over the last year I have also gone through a vaguely similar shift, but in my case I think it has more to do with advancing age and a feeling that I must not harm the generally very happy 54 year marriage for my remaining time. That is really the most important thing in my life. Gretchen is still very much there as she has been in one way or another all my life, but I have learned to incorporate it in what might be called a more "mature" fashion relative to the entire context of my life. Perhaps something similar is happening to you.

  20. #20
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    12,721
    AmeeJo, You do what you need to do for your marriage. I hope the underdressing meets your needs.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  21. #21
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Merseyside UK
    Posts
    1,573
    Good luck Ameejo. I think you have made the right decision. I have come to the same conclusion myself. Your relationship is more important.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    913
    AmeeJo, I totally get this. I have made very similar choices. Our marriage comes first. You know who you are inside and you know what you can look like. For me, underdressing, is a constant reminder of my femininity. Nancy

  23. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    43,683
    Hi AmeeJo Good Luck with saving your Marriage, It is a great Sacrifice, >Orchid**OO**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member msniki48's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    910
    My therapist said to me, when i did just what you have done.... When you need Ameejo she will be there... going thru a bit of that right now.... hugs
    msniki48
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Hugs, msniki48
    Blog
    http://nikishomeawayfromhome.spaces....x?sa=764853634

  25. #25
    Member Gi Gondin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2021
    Location
    Brazil
    Posts
    189
    Congratulations for reaching a balance that makes you and your wife happy. We all have to consider other’s reactions in our decisions and when we clearly know what’s important, it makes the process easier!

    That said it seems that also that your wife was anxious about your dressing and gender expression. Just mentioning because most of us have learned that even if our needs to dress fluctuates a lot during our life, it does not go away for good. Communication will always be the best relationship development tool available, no matter what subject!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State