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Thread: Coming out at a pride event

  1. #1
    Heather loves heels Heather2die4's Avatar
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    Coming out at a pride event

    Whether you are contemplating your first trip out in public or are a seasoned out girl, the Pride events can be a good opportunity to put on a skirt and join the party. June is Pride month and (in the USA) there is likely a pride event near you. Last year, I wore a skirt that was more micro than mini, a swimsuit top, all shaved, heels, and black hair with extreme bangs. I am SO not passable but was the life of the party all the same. My walk and demeanor were an open invitation to flirt and I received my share of it, including several butt pinches and even a few boob grabs, but don't worry. If you are the more reserved type, dress accordingly and your space will be respected.

    My chosen event came at the end of a 1200 mile (2,000km) road trip, which I made while 100%
    crossdressed. I ate at restaurants, used the ladies room at rest stops and other facilities, checked
    into hotels, shopped, and attended museums; all as Heather. No one even batted an eye. I also
    intervened in a case of public verbal abouse of a child by his presumed father. I may have been in a skirt and heels but I made it clear I was serious and the guy backed it down.

    To be out in the sunshine and enjoying being me is just so freeing, not to mention the people watching possibilities. And the biggest surprise of all came when I looked in the mirror the next morning. Tan lines! How naughty is that?

    You can search the web for "Pride events in (your state)" and find one the right distance (close enough to be accessible and far enough to be anonymous). Hotel accomodations may sell out so make sure you make arrangements in advance, then have a good time. Find this post and let us all know how it went for you. Don't forget to snap a few pics to share with us.

  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    About 10 years ago I was 1st invited to ride the Mary's float in the Long Beach Pride parade. At first, I was so excited!

    But, after thinking it over I realized I couldn't honestly do it. Because masking is NOT what being trans is about!

    And, I find going out without a mask to be shameful. For most dressers it would be like going out without a wig and forms!

    However, Pride parades and get togethers r great fun for my dressing friends! I strongly suggest u follow Heather's example and get out there, too!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
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    Coming out at a pride event can be a significant and empowering experience. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

    Reflect on your readiness: Coming out is a personal journey, and it's essential to assess your own readiness and comfort level before choosing a public event like a pride event to come out. Take the time to understand and accept your own identity before sharing it with others.

    Seek support: Prior to attending the pride event, it can be helpful to have a support network in place. Reach out to friends, family, or LGBTQ+ support groups who can provide emotional support and guidance during this process.

    Educate yourself: Familiarize yourself with the event, its atmosphere, and any specific guidelines or resources available. Understand the context of the pride event you are attending, as it may vary in terms of size, location, and cultural considerations.

    Choose a safe environment: Ensure that the pride event you attend is inclusive and welcoming. Research the event beforehand to determine if it has a reputation for being supportive and safe for LGBTQ+ individuals. If you have any concerns about safety, consider attending with a trusted friend or ally.

    Plan your approach: Think about how you want to come out at the pride event. It could be through conversations with specific individuals, publicly sharing your identity, or participating in activities that affirm your identity. Decide what feels right for you and plan accordingly.

    Be prepared for different reactions: Remember that people's responses to your coming out can vary. While many may be accepting and supportive, others may need time to process or may react in unexpected ways. Surround yourself with understanding individuals who can provide support regardless of others' reactions.

    Take care of yourself: Coming out can be an emotional experience, so it's important to prioritize self-care. Be prepared for a range of emotions and allow yourself time and space to process them. Engage in activities that bring you joy and seek support from those who can offer comfort and understanding.

    Remember, coming out is a personal decision, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Take your time, trust your instincts, and remember that pride events can be supportive and celebratory spaces to embrace and express your true self.
    Last edited by Di; 06-02-2023 at 12:32 PM. Reason: You cannot put personal information

  4. #4
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I've wanted to attend a pride event/parade for some time.
    Always seems they conflict with some family thing that can't be missed or they are just too far away to be feasible.
    I'd really love to be surrounded by like minded people and be totally free to be myself.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  5. #5
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paulryan View Post
    Ensure that the pride event you attend is inclusive and welcoming. Research the event beforehand to determine if it has a reputation for being supportive and safe for LGBTQ+ individuals. If you have any concerns about safety, consider attending with a trusted friend or ally.
    Uhhh, isn't that the whole point of a pride event?

    I've been to one pride parade. I thought they were ridiculous on a lot of levels before I went. It is difficult to comprehend what it's like to be surrounded by non-judgemental people. I did not get that until I went. However, I could blink my eyes and find it disturbing. The inclusion of children of all ages made me very uncomfortable. I could blink my eyes again and find it disturbing for other reasons. I'm way too much of a prude for some of this stuff, although there wasn't as much of it as I thought there might be. A lot of it was like small town homecoming parade.

    For me, there was more to be absorbed from the crowd than from the participants. I know what it's like to fear being yourself in public, and to see gay couples able to relax and be couples in public without fear of violence or judgement was a cool thing. I wish we didn't have to have a parade in a somewhat protected environment for that to happen.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Sara Ann's Avatar
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    It's probably not really coming out if you perform in drag and the two people who know about that are the same two people who already know you crossdress anyway. But that's what happened for me, coincidentally, last night. I was one of two noobs performing in an amateur night event. The other came out as bi to whole bunch of friends and coworkers which she didn't expect at all.

    It was scary and exhilarating at the same time. Once I got on stage, all the nervousness went away. I was blinded by the spotlight, got too far ahead of the lyrics because I couldn't hear the music well, and my path to the stage was blocked during the start of the number because of all the drunks milling about in the way. But I'd still do it again.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Again, if you have been reluctant to venture out as something other than your natal gender, a pride event is about the safest place to do that. You will be surrounded by friendly, accepting people.
    That said, if you really want to make a statement, a difference, get out whenever and wherever you can. Be something other than a face in the crowd. Interact with people who may not understand. Showing those people that we are human beings, just like them, is what will normalize us and remove the fear that so many have for something that they do not understand. Yes, I realize that not everyone wants to be an activist, but here's the thing. I am an activist, but I am dead certain that I have changed more minds by just being present, at the nail salon, the grocery store, or a restaurant than with all the pride events I've ever been to.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    This weekend is central coast pride in SLO. (San Luis Obispo,CA) There's all kinds of things going on Friday Saturday and Sunday. It's where I made contact with the transgender support group I'm part of.
    FB_IMG_1684597584880_copy_523x650.jpg
    I would highly recommend attending this event or one like it.

  9. #9
    Member Nyla F's Avatar
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    I know this is totally not the same thing, but my employer encourages employees to use a rainbow type background in our virtual meetings for pride month. I'm doing that but none of my coworkers do, which just increases my resolve to stick with it because LGBTQ+ folks need to know they are welcomed at my company.
    [edit:] and I'm not out at work, simply showing support

  10. #10
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    We have a fairly low key Pride event in our town now, and I had such a good time volunteering and such at the first one that I came out to a couple people I sorta know who don't follow me on facebook to have seen the 'coming out' post there.

  11. #11
    Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    Pride events are great events to go out as a girl for the first time. I know that's what I did a couple years ago when I showed up in my full southern belle dress on a hot July day. Which actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be since my local pride hosts the event at a park that has a lot of shade in it. It was a very fun day and I was going to do it again last year as they were going to reactivate the pride parade, but it was too rainy for me to do so. Maybe I'll try again this year!

  12. #12
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    A Pride event is an ideal opportunity to test the water. You will seldom have a better opportunity to be yourself surrounded by people who are mostly open-minded, and accepting.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  13. #13
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    There's a number of pride events that happen in my region. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of going dressed to one of them. With the job that I have, I have a number of colleagues who are their involved with LGBTQIA+ events/etc., and/or are LGBTQIA+ themselves. I am not out to coworkers, nor am I going to be. So, going to one of these events crossdressed stands a very high chance of running into someone I know. So, it would have to be to such an event further away.

    Of course, if you're "coming out" at a pride event in front of people who don't know you...is it really coming out?

  14. #14
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JulieC View Post
    Of course, if you're "coming out" at a pride event in front of people who don't know you...is it really coming out?
    If you consider it coming out YES especially if closeted
    What better place to be free and safe with others.
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  15. #15
    Junior Member joanstickley1956's Avatar
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    Last year I woke up on the day of the Pride parade in my city and decided to go. I wore "ordinary" clothes -- denim skirt, cotton top, simple jewelry, sandals. I planned to watch the parade in front of a fair-trade store where my wife and I volunteer, and where I am out to the employees. I had to park on the far other end of the street, and so I ended up walking about 6 blocks from the car to the store. Along the way I walked past dozens of people. One of those was a woman who owns a restaurant where we've eaten many times. I was not out to her. She just greeted me with "Hi, [my male name]" -- normal friendly hello. When I got to the store, there was a lesbian couple who are friends out front, so I hung out with them. I hadn't been out to them previously, but they thought it was great. One of them is a musician, and she encouraged me to come en femme to their next performance. One of the store employees came out and took pictures of us, which she sent to me. All in all, it was a great experience, and I encourage any who can to participate in Pride events in your town (or the next town over).

  16. #16
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    (or the next town over).

    The last part of that sentence might work for me. lol

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