Almost

[Jillcder]

Yesterday my wife had an event that would keep her out of the house for a few hours so after watching her leave I put on a dress, wig, heels and matching accessories only having a few hours I decided to skip the makeup something I rarely do since I really enjoy the makeup process. So I ate dinner, did some laundry trimmed and filled my nails after a couple hours I decided to change out of Jills clothes good thing I did five minutes after that she walks through the door an hour and a half early! That is the second close call in two months like others here have said its not if but when a crossdresser gets caught by their wife. Almost caught again I need to be more careful.

[Debs]

Jill, so I pressume she does not approve, how much does she actual know ?

[audreyinalbany]

well you know it's a truism that 'it's not a question of IF you get caught, it's WHEN'

[GretchenM]

Wow, that is close. The if/when statement is so true. She has never caught me, but there have been a few very close calls. Pure luck! Certainly not by design. It can make your heart race with fear of consequences. A good reason to come out to her so at least the impact is not as great as if she had no idea. My wife was one of those that had no idea. Now I use the bits and pieces approach so she gets some exposure so when the "if and when" happens it will not be such a surprise. I do have the same question that Debs has.

[Linda Stockings]

I'm a little curious; how did you manage to get your nails back to "normal" quickly. I ask because you spoke of having "filled"them. In my limited experience regarding nails, "filled" or a "refill" has referred to acrylic nails. All the things I've read and heard indicate acrylic nails are tough to deal with. I agree with the point though, it's usually not IF, it's usually WHEN one gets caught.

[susann_gardener]

My wife has taken to giving me a call when she expectd to get home early. Not a bad DADT courtesy.

[Cheryl T]

I remember those days very well.
Finally the deceit and fear got to me and I told her everything. I had to risk it for my sanity and I found out I was one of the lucky ones. She was willing to listen, ask and try to understand. Now she is fully supportive and those days are far behind me.

[Stephanie47]

Due to a pedestrian-automobile accident my wife was in when she was twelve she did not fully develop depth perception and therefore does not drive. I have to drop her off and pick her up. That was great when she was still working and I was a retired domesticated cross dresser. There were no surprise "I home early" calls from the front door. Jill, I do not know how much your wife knows, but sometimes, not all the time, there can be some accommodations made. Before Covid, when my wife used public transit, she'd always call me to give me either a heads up or please come and pick me up from the bus stop. I also foregone makeup because it takes to long to apply and remove, thus cutting into the time I had to emulate June Cleaver doing domestic chores. If your wife truly does not have a clue that you wear women's attire try to have a reasonable explanation planned out in your head without giving her some nonsensical BS. When my wife and I had "The Talk" it came down to saying "I do not know why I do what I do!" which is the truth. IMHO, anything else is nothing more than an explanation of how wearing women's clothing makes you feel.

[kimdl93]

My thought is that you know you have armed a ticking time bomb, but no idea when its set to go off. Not knowing your wife, I cannot say with confidence that there is any way to disarm the bomb.

[Jillcder]

Debs she does not know I Crossdress so I do not know if she will approve or not I just cannot find the courage to tell her yes I know I should. Linda I was trimming and filing my male nails. Cheryl I would love to be in your situation until I tell her I will never know how accepting she may or may not be.

[alwayshave]

Jill, almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades. But, this may be a marital hand grenade.

[char GG]

You may want to draft two speeches, one for when you tell her... and one for when she finds out.

[Maria 60]

It really is a tricky game and I believe you have to play it trying to be one step ahead of your wife. The funny thing is something told you to undress early. I remember more when I hid it from my family because I told my wife 2 weeks being married when I realized this thing is not go away. My point being it was like I had an instinct in me at times that for whatever reason Id undressed early or I wouldn't have dressed when opportunity hit and for whatever reason that was the day someone came home early. It was like something inside you told you to undress early.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jill , You can only push your Luck So Far, Sooner or Later It will not push any Farther, >Orchid**OO**

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Jill,
Thank you for sharing; part of closet crossdressing is the risk of getting caught. I have had my share of close calls too.
Brenda

[Heather76]

From Stephanie's post: "When my wife and I had "The Talk" it came down to saying "I do not know why I do what I do!" which is the truth. IMHO, anything else is nothing more than an explanation of how wearing women's clothing makes you feel."

I agree 100% with this as that's exactly what I've told my wife. I honestly don't know why, at age 74, the pink fog captured me and has been relentless. It took me about 5 months of wearing panties before I mustered up the courage to tell her. I cannot imagine the stress I'd have felt if I had been stashing bras, forms, dresses, etc. in order not to be discovered. Jill, I've no idea how long you have been married or your age. However, what I do know is the stress of hiding the fact you cross dress will drive you nuts at some time. I also know that every day you postpone telling your wife is one more day she will feel the deception when (not if) she discovers it because you got careless and got caught. Again, I don't know your relationship or how strong your marriage is; but, I hope it is strong enough that you would have confidence that telling your wife would not be a deal (marriage) breaker. She may not like it and you may end up in a DADT situation. But, at least if you do get caught she will not come unglued because that's the first she knew of your CDing. I sincerely wish you good luck.

[Jillcder]

Thank you all I truly appreciate the comments this forum has been very helpful navigating my Jill side of life.

[JulieC]

Jill, nobody can (and nobody here that I've read is!) judge your situation for you. You're in a very delicate situation that only you can judge. It's tough. You've accepted yourself enough to know this isn't going away, but can't be yourself to your wife. This hard. very hard.

For my part, I got lucky. Ok, I got resolve...but only because I was lucky. I found the wonderful woman I married past the age of 30. Had I gotten married younger, I definitely would not have told my spouse beforehand. I didn't have the level of courage and self acceptance to realize I couldn't make this go away, and couldn't live a life where my wife didn't know. I told my (now) wife after we'd been dating for a couple of months. I'd just gotten to a point in life where I just wasn't going to accept a woman who didn't accept me...all of me. I would rather be single for the rest of my life than live with that.

I tell you this not to gloat of course, but rather to provide some inspiration of self acceptance and the journey forward. It can be incredibly hard. But, choices...(a) never tell your wife, (b) tell your wife. With (a) there's a fair chance she discovers anyway, or you end up in a situation where you predecease her, and she finds your femme stash and will forever be left with questions. In most outcomes of (a) or (b) your wife can either choose to remain with you or not. If she chooses to remain, there's varieties of acceptance ranging from DADT to encouragement. Where do you want to be? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? How do you want to wife to work into that, or remember you? Hard choices. Nobody can answer that for you.

[1958Candi]

my wife and I track each others location on our iphones...that would come in handy for you!