My wife didn't find it as funny as I did

[DanielleDubois]

My wife and I were at a restaurant the other day and I was the only male in the place. I jokingly said to my wife if I had known it was going to be all women I would have worn a dress. She didn?t find it as amusing as I did and said then I wouldn?t have come with you. I tried to recover by saying I wouldn?t go out wearing a dress because Danielle is a strictly stay at home girl but I still got a little bit of a stink eye from her.

I think my wife thought I was being a bit serious about the comment. I try to have us look at the funny side of the crossdressing sometimes so my wife doesn't get stressed out about me being too involved in it and having it dominate my male side. Usually my joking about something will get a chuckle out of her but this was an epic fail. But on the positive side moving beyond the DADT or semi-DADT we had previously has made the entire crossdressing less stressful for both of us. For me it has been the relief of not having all the secrecy and for her not having the uncertainty and fear of what I was up to in my Danielle time. It's not a perfect situation of course and I do have to be careful to respect her boundaries about it. Such as not going out in public which I am not interested in.

Anyone else ever had an incident where joking about something crossdressing didn't amuse your wife?

[mykell]

having the privilege of getting out dressed i don't tend to joke about things....that works for me....its a fragile way of life....

[Debs]

I have respect that you can actual stay in, it would drive me crazy not being able to go out dressed, I really curious that your Danielle side does not crave to walk into a shopping mall, so not even a teeny weeny bit curious to go out ?

[DianeT]

Danielle I think your wife saw more in your remark than just a joke. I used to do some rare, ambiguous jokes like this and quickly learned to stop it because my wife was enough uncomfortable without me adding to the pile. I'm sure I will blow it again, sometimes a good word is just throwing its hands at you and it's hard to resist. Let's say I learned to resist more as time passed, while my wife got gradually more reassured about the dressing, so we will probably meet halfway one day. We already joke about some aspects of my CDing, and about funny stuff on the site. I just need to be careful when touching particular subjects, and avoid ambiguity if possible. Many wounds are still open, even if they are healing, slowly.

[abby054]

Some things we do not joke about in our house. Crossdressing is one of them. The reaction we will get for violating this custom is

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/10/107e...209af5b7c8.jpg

[Crissy 107]

My wife would have made the exact same comment and give me the same look her mother used to use when she did not like something.
I thought your comment was perfect and right on point in that situation.

Good one Abby!

[Deborah G]

EXACTLY! I have been on the receiving end of that look!

[GretchenM]

I find it a little sad when people take life too seriously and are unable to joke about some things rather freely. My wife is a rather serious person in that regard and would undoubtedly react to that comment much like yours. To me life tends to be a bit on the humorous side as I notice so many people reacting to situations in ways that reach deep into the ability of humans to show extreme degrees of innovation in situations. To me it differentiates us from most of the rest of the natural world which is usually not very playful. Nevertheless those who are like us do need to toe the line with more discipline and seriousness in some situations. I have to admit if in the same situation as you, Danielle, I would very likely make a similar comment and get in the same trouble for saying it. In fact, I suspect I have done just that and ended up feeling like I had stepped on someone's toes. Our perception of life and "properness" is, by nature, a bit different from most people. But what a boring world if we were all the same. Yuk! Even ants don't do that.

[alwayshave]

Danielle, My wife is accepting and would just say, "why didn't you." I will note that my wife and I have breakfast, with me in male mode, in a LGBTQ+ restaurant/bar every weekend and she always comments she is the only girl in the room.

[audreyinalbany]

it's unfortunate more people don't have a healthy sense of humor about our crossdressing. Being able to casually joke about it makes it much less threatening

[Cheryl T]

My wife is the opposite and she would have made the comment, not me.
Like last night. I was going to take a shower and she was watching QVC. They were selling some dresses and she says "If I see something cute I'll get it for you, what color do you like". I just said "surprise me".

[Rhonda Jean]

Yes.

In a DADT, semi-DADT, or probably any other situation, there's a lot of reading between the lines. I think sometimes we throw out these little quips hoping for a positive reaction. I know I did. A fishing expedition, if you will. Even if that's not what you're doing, it makes sense that she'd read it that way. I remember using this kind of "joke" as a kind of subtle indirect communication, and I wasn't very good at it. It was clear what I was doing.

She did it, too. We'd see some guy with nail polish or makeup or whatever and she'd act like she was throwing up. It was a fake reaction just to show me how crossdressing or anything approaching it was sickening to her.

Be careful with the jokes. She likely won't forget them and they may come back to haunt you.

[Jillcder]

Geez Cheryl your wife just won the sweet heart of the year award in my book!

[CDMargret]

Lucky one here. She has asked why I didn't wear something at times or says we should try this place and I need to dress to go. So sorry your wife got upset. We have gone out dressed together but I try to blur in.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Danielle, Don't press your Luck, It can come back to bite you in the ASS,

[DanielleDubois]

I hope it wasn’t taken that my wife has no sense of humour and got very angry at my comment. She is quite accepting and understanding of my Danielle needs and we can talk about almost anything Danielle related. She will laugh about the funnier aspects of my crossdressing and in this particular instance it was simply a joke at the wrong time and in the wrong place.

Debs, I have never had a huge desire or need to be out in public. I can appreciate all the people who enjoy being in public and are comfortable doing it but there has never been anything in it for me. That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to attend something like First Event but it would be to meet other crossdressers and not for being out in public per se.

[Robbiegirl]

Yes women are all different ! Since I was known for my sense of humor in my dating days I would sometimes surprise gals by putting on their lingerie for a laugh !

One time though the gal didn't laugh and it felt quite ackward, kind of like this cartoon !

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